Chapter Two

Rose’s Blog Entry No. 14…

Me again, just checking in for my daily rant session and boy do I have a doozy for today. The Doctor and I recently visited Freazon Twelve and while we were there, I found a little puffball creature. It’s called a Zeebot and man, I am so sorry I ever looked its way because having it in the TARDIS has been a nightmare. It all started when the Doctor and I decided to explore…

“Come on, slowpoke, keep up,” the Doctor chided as he and Rose hiked through the dense forest. “We’re on a tight schedule!”

Rose raised her eyebrow.

“We are? What are we doing and why is it so urgent?” she asked.

The Doctor looked behind him and grinned.

“We’re not doing anything urgent; I’ve just always wanted to say that. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m a high powered CEO in charge of a large company and you’re my harried, underpaid executive assistant that I constantly harass to get work done on time while I go out and dine with other CEO’s and relax with them and play golf and get paid for it.”

“This is your little fantasy life, eh?”

“Weeell, I just like to imagine what it’s like to have a life filled with schedules and meetings and power lunches and no leisure time at all and then after I get done imagining it, I thank Rassilon I’m me and I don’t have to do those things in real life.”

“Wow! That just sounds incredibly boring,” Rose muttered. “And I’m your secretary then?”

“I prefer the term executive assistant, sounds more business-like, but yes, you are.”

“Hurray for me,” Rose muttered.

“Yes, you are Miss Fortesque, my loyal, but overworked executive assistant and I am Mister Bananabottom, owner of Banana Daiquiri Delights, a successful Fortune 500 company that specializes in making delicious Banana Daiquiris that come in a multitude of flavor combinations and are extremely popular. I, of course, was a rags to riches success story having grown up on a small dairy in Dorset and spent my formative years getting up at the crack of dawn to milk the cows and shovel their dung into a cart to be used as fertilizer. That’s where I developed my strong work ethic that I used later in life to become the banana daiquiri king of Great Britain.”

Rose was stunned.

“Wow, that’s a very detailed fantasy life you have there,” she said.

“Well, I don’t sleep very much so I have to have something to pass the time while you humans snooze your lives away.” He said looking back at her. “Anyway, I have managed to buy up several little Banana Daiquiri companies and put them out of business, so my competition is practically nil now. Of course, that means sales are through the roof so I can bring home a fat paycheck to my wife, Beryl, and our little girl, Amanda, and we have an extremely lavish lifestyle with mansions and cars and a huge swimming pool and Jacuzzi. But, unfortunately, I am trapped in an unhappy marriage with a wife who mentally and emotionally abuses me, so in order to compensate for that, I’m forced to keep you as my mistress and we have this whole secret office romance, but we must keep it under wraps, because if it got out that I was shagging you, it would be a major scandal and I would lose business and be forced to fire you and you would end up out on the street, homeless and desperate and forced to sell your body for liquor money. I, of course, would never do that to you since you are a loyal employee, so I’m careful to keep my mouth shut around my nosy employees lest word leaks out to the tabloids that a huge and important mover and shaker of the business world is bedding his underling.”

“Gee, how big of you,” Rose muttered.

“Yup, I have it all figured out. I call Beryl and tell her that I have to work late and then we go home to your squalid apartment and have meaningless sex all night on your dingy flea infested floor.”


He looked at her.


“You’ve been watching the soap operas again, haven’t you?”

The Doctor widened his eyes.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes, very obvious.”

The Doctor shrugged.

“Like I said, I need to pass the time while you humans sleep. Those soap operas can be very addicting.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Would you like to hear the back-story I thought up for you? About your life of poverty and prostitution before you turned your life around and went to university?”

“No thanks, Doctor, I think I can fill in the blanks on my own,” Rose muttered.

The Doctor shrugged.

“Well, if you ever wanna know how you got away from your abusive pimp and went back to school and became an assistant to the most powerful CEO in Britain, tell me and I’ll be happy to fill you in.”

“I’ll be sure to put that on my to-do list,” Rose muttered under her breath.

“What was that, Rose?”

“I said I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good, because it really is an interesting and heart wrenching tale, your mother died giving birth to you and your father was forced to become a mime so he could put food on the table.”

“Um, Doctor?”

“Yes, Rose?”

“You ever consider trying not to live inside your head so much?”

The Doctor stared at her wide-eyed.

“I don’t live inside my head. I live inside the TARDIS, haven’t you noticed, you silly girl?”

He giggled as Rose slapped him on the back.

They hiked on, the Doctor pointing out different sights and keeping a running monologue going about the wonders of Freazon Twelve. Rose heard just enough to be able to answer him if he asked her a question, but for the most part, she was lost in her own little world, staring at the gorgeous scenery around them.

Then as they rounded a bend, Rose saw it. A cute little ball of brown fur resting on a tree trunk. The Doctor went right past it, seemly oblivious to it, but Rose just had to stop. The little creature was just too adorable to pass up. She bent over and stared at it as it stared back at her with its round black eyes.

“Hey, little one, Whatcha doin’?” she said to it.

“I’m showing you around the woods, Rose,” the Doctor said turning around. “What do you think I’ve been do---oh, you aren’t even talking to me.”

He walked over to her wondering what she was looking at. His eyes widened in terror when he saw it.

“Rose,” he said jerking her arm. “Let’s move on.”

“Oi, wait a moment, I’m just getting a look at it,” Rose said incensed.

“Okay, you’ve had a look, now let’s get out of here before it follows us!”

Rose stared at him in confusion.

“Why? What is it?”

“A Zeebot, one of the most annoying creatures in the universe.”

Rose was taken aback. She looked down at the little brown puffball sitting quietly on the tree trunk and looked at the Doctor.

“This little guy is the most annoying thing in the universe?” she said to him. “Even more annoying than the Daleks or the Slitheen or the Cybermen?”

“Yes, it outranks them all on the most annoying things in the universe list. Now come along, before the fuzzy terror decides to follow us!”

Rose stared down at the little brown powder puff with the round black eyes and the small brown snout with the cute little black button nose on the end of it. This little cutie was more annoying than Daleks? What could possibly be so annoying about it? Ignoring the Doctor, she jerked her arm out of his grasp and stroked its fur. The Doctor sighed angrily, muttering to himself about how he wished just once he could find a companion that would actually listen to him while Rose spoke softly to the Zeebot. She put her hand underneath it and smiled when the Zeebot walked into her hand. She pulled her hand away from the tree and stroked it while it rested quietly and stared up at her with its obsidian eyes.

“Rose, I’m warning you, those things are nothing but trouble,” the Doctor said to her.

He sighed when Rose ignored him completely and stroked the little puffball.

“Fine, you wanna learn the hard way, be my guest,” he muttered walking off.

Rose looked up when she noticed he was going. She started to put the Zeebot back on the trunk, but thought better of it. It was just resting in her hand, it wasn’t being annoying at all. Rose rolled her eyes. The Doctor was probably exaggerating as usual. Stroking her little friend, she hurried off after the Doctor.

The Doctor looked around at her when she caught up to him and sighed angrily when he noticed the Zeebot was still in her hand.

“You are gonna regret not listening to me, Rose, I’m tellin’ ya,” he said.

“Oh, come on, Doctor. This Zeebot is just sitting here in my hand not bothering anyone. It hasn’t made a sound since we found it, it’s just a cute little guy with little black eyes and a nose and…”

She held her hand up and looked at its feet.

“Are those suction cups?” she said.

“Yes, its feet are like suction cups, that’s what allows it to climb up things,” the Doctor said angrily. “And trust me, Rose, it loves to climb and get into things. It may look all cute and cuddly, but it’s a handful. If I were you, I would put it on the nearest tree trunk and leave it there.”

Rose sighed.

“All right, I’m leaving it,” she said.

“Thank you.”

She held her hand up to a nearby tree trunk and stared down at the Zeebot.

“Sorry, little guy, I have to leave you here. The Doctor doesn’t want you aboard the TARDIS.”

He heart melted when the Zeebot stared up at her with its round black eyes. When it wouldn't budge, she put it down next to the tree trunk and walked over to the Doctor.

“Thank you,” the Doctor said smiling at her.

Rose shrugged.

“Still don’t understand what’s so annoying about it,” she said. “It looks so innocent.”

“Looks can be deceiving, Rose. That Zeebot may look tame, but it’s a holy terror when it gets going. Trust me, you made the right decision. Now let’s get going.”

Rose took his hand and walked away with him. The Zeebot watched them walk away for a moment and then making up its little mind, it began to roll after its new owner.

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