Chapter Five

Rose’s Blog Entry No. 30…

Once again I’m back with another entry and this time I have to say I am stunned over what happened earlier tonight. So much so that I had to get up and get this down because I can’t sleep. I have to say that before the incident tonight I had been freaked out anyway. We had just gotten back from London in the year 1953 where this creature called The Wire took my face from me and put it in a television set. That was disturbing enough, but I also remember being in the telly screaming at the Doctor when he finally found me. I remember the horrified look on his face as he stared at me and told me he was on his way and I remember listening to him screaming at Magpie and being horrified when I saw The Wire trying to take his and Tommy’s and some other guy’s face. My Doctor managed to escape that, but after that he left and I did not see him again until my face was restored to my head and we were reunited.

When we went back to the TARDIS, the Doctor was very quiet and I didn’t question him about it since I was worn out and my nerves were still frayed from what had happened to me. He took the TARDIS into the vortex while I went to take a shower to soothe myself. I skipped dinner and crawled into bed just wanting to get some rest. I laid down and was almost asleep when I heard the sound of my door opening…

Rose's eyes snapped open when she heard the door creak. She frowned when she noticed the Doctor standing in the doorway staring quietly at her.

“Doctor? What's wrong?” Rose said softly.

He didn’t reply, just silently walked into the room. He walked over to her bed and stared down at her with a blank look on his face. Rose stared up at him quietly trying to work out what was going on in his mind. The inscrutable gaze made her uneasy and she shifted slightly wanting to escape those intense brown eyes of his.

Then with that same look on his face, he reached out and touched her face. Rose looked up at him quietly as he ran his finger across her forehead, down her nose, across one cheek and then the other and finally his fingers stopped on her lips. They lingered there and Rose finally saw the Doctor’s expression change into a sad look.

“Oh Rose,” he whispered to himself. “Your face, your beautiful face.”

Rose felt tears coming to her eyes at the heartbreaking look in his eyes. She reached up, took his hand off her lips, and held it against her heart. The Doctor stared at his hand for a moment and then knelt down beside her. He raised his other hand and brushed some strands of hair away from her face.

“When I saw what they had done to you,” he murmured to her. “When they brought your faceless body into the police station, I almost lost it. I couldn’t believe that your beautiful face was gone; I was ready to tear apart Heaven and Earth to get you back. Oh Rose, my Rose, I thought I’d lost you today. Oh God, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been restored…”

He trailed off when his free hand drifted back down to her cheek and stayed there. He stared into her eyes for a moment, a mixture of emotions running across his face. Then, he slowly lowered his lips to her forehead and gave her a gentle kiss. Rose felt tears come to her eyes as he kissed her nose, both cheeks and then finally after a moment’s hesitation, her lips. Rose let go of his hand and laid it against his cheek as she returned the kiss. They kissed for a minute and then the Doctor pulled away and laid his forehead on hers. Rose stroked his cheek as he closed his eyes and kept his face there. Rose closed her eyes and listened to him breathe. She had never seen the Doctor so distraught before and it unnerved her. To know that what had happened today had affected him that much tore at her heart and she couldn’t help the tear that fell down her cheek. The Doctor jerked his head up when he felt it hit his hand and he stared at her, anguished.

“No, my Rose, don’t cry,” he whispered wiping away the tears with his thumb. “Don’t cry, I’m sorry I upset you, I’m so sorry.”

That made Rose cry even harder and all her pent up emotions were finally let out. The Doctor gathered her into his arms, held her close, and stroked the back of her hair as he shushed her and whispered soothing words to her.

“Forgive me, Rose, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he whispered. “I just…I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Seeing you with that blank face, it was horrifying. I tried not to think about it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it and the next thing I know I’m in here. I didn’t mean to scare you, Rose.”

“No, it’s alright, Doctor,” she said. “I…I…needed to cry. I remember seeing you when I was in the telly and the look you had on your face and I heard you screaming and I hated that I upset you. I never should have gone to Magpies by myself. It was stupid of me to do that. I should have waited and gone with you. I didn’t mean to upset and scare you either, Doctor. Oh God, I’m so sorry!”

She wept harder and the Doctor tightened his hold on her rocking back and forth, whispering that it wasn’t her fault, that he wasn’t angry at her and he was proud of her for being so brave. He held her close until her tears subsided and then once she was calm, he laid her back down on the bed and pulled the covers back up to her shoulders. He stroked her hair and gave her one last gentle kiss on the lips before he stood back up.

“Get some sleep, Rose, you need your rest now,” he said to her.

He ran his hand one more time down her cheek and then with a sigh, he turned and left the room.

And now I’m sitting in here in the den trying to sort out my thoughts so I can finally get some sleep. It’s been one crazy day and night, that’s for sure. I just hope I never have to put the Doctor through that kind of anguish again because that look on his face just about broke my heart. I only hope he never has to go through something like that again because I realized tonight just how much I mean to him and how lost he would be if he really did lose me for good. I swore a long time ago that I would never leave him and tonight has only confirmed that I made the right decision. As God is my witness, nothing except my death will ever separate me from him.

And now that I have gotten this down, I feel a lot better and I think I will go back to sleep now. I’m sure tomorrow will be another full day and I need my rest. So, goodbye until the next entry.

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