SCARIEST PLACE ON EARTH
Chapter Two "This is stoooooopid!" the Doctor said softly as they followed Robson to the ritual space. "Do these people honestly think a ritual is gonna wake up the ghosts? I thought human beings had more sense than this." "It's for television, play along," Rose hissed at him. "Jack's on the verge of pouncing on Robson and ripping his clothes off, will that also be for television if he can't control his urges?" the Doctor said to her. Robson assembled them around a small wooden altar. The altar had five candles on it, five mirrors and a beaker of blood with an eyedropper next to it. The Doctor gave the altar a dubious look. His dubious look shifted to a woman when she towards them. She was dressed in a purple rhinestone shirt, black skirt with black shoes and a purple bandana that was covering her hair. She stopped beside Robson and gazed at all of them. "I am Jade Crystal, a clairvoyant. I'm here to help you with the ritual," she said. "We are going to recite an incantation to open a portal to the spirit world. The chant you are about to read is centuries old but I warn you, at the end of the night you must meet here again and read another chant which will send the ghosts back through the portal and close it. If you fail to do this, the portal will remain open. Does everyone understand this?" "Will there be lights other than the ones by this camera?" Donna said, pointing to her harness. "Because I don't feel like stumbling around in the dark all night." "You will be given flashlights," Jade said. "That's all? We're not gonna have flaming torches at least? I better not fall or you'll regret it," Donna mumbled. Jade walked around the group and handed out pieces of paper to them with a handwritten chant on it. "Now, each of you must light a candle, put a drop of chicken blood inside it and hold the mirror up to the candle flame while you recite the chant. This will open the portal." "Or make us look like fools," the Doctor muttered. He watched while Rose walked up to a candle, used a lighter to light it and then used the eyedropper to put a drop of chicken blood inside the candle beside the flame. She then held up a small mirror close to the flame and picked up the piece of paper beside it. The Doctor rolled his eyes when she began to read the words on the paper. "Spirits and ghosts, hear me now. Come through the portal from the other side to our realm. I summon thee with the light from a flame and a drop of blood. Come now and make yourselves known." Martha giggled when the Doctor jerked his head around in a melodramatic fashion while he looked for the ghosts. He smiled at Martha when she playfully poked his shoulder and stepped up to the altar. "Don't see anything," the Doctor muttered into Rose's ear when she came up beside him. "We're all supposed to do it, then the portal will open," Rose said. The Doctor gave her a "Yeah, right" look while Martha began to recite the chant. She finished and Donna walked up to the altar. While they were doing this, the Master was watching from the darkness and shaking his head. "Humans, they're a strange lot," he muttered to himself. "Whatever possessed you to become buddy buddy with them, Doctor? They act like they're all fucked in the head if you ask me." Finally, it was the Doctor's turn. Everyone watched while he walked up to the candle, lit it and put the drop of blood inside it. He then brought the mirror up to his face and pretended to preen for a moment before he put the mirror beside the flame. Then he picked up the piece of paper and cleared his throat loudly. "You know, it's a little hard to read anything with this bloody camera on my chest," he said to Jade and Robson, "but here goes…TWINKY WINKY BONKY WONK, MANKA PANKA, PONK, PONK, PONK. DIPPITY DOO, FLIPPIDY FLY, OPEN THAT PORTAL AND LET THEM GHOSTS FLY!" He slammed down the paper and the mirror on the table. Ignoring the glares of Jade and Robson, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked back to his friends who were trying not to laugh. On the outskirts the Master was giggling and silently applauding his adversary. The Doctor noticed the pissed off looks on their faces. "Oh come on," he said. "As if a daft little chant is gonna bring the ghosts running. Give me a break." "You may have trouble with the spirits tonight," Robson said ominously. "Bring em on, I've fought worse," the Doctor said dismissively. "He's a bit flamboyant sometimes," Rose said sheepishly when Jade and Robson continued to glare at him. "Don't mind him." "I'm just saying the ghosts aren't gonna appear just because we drop chicken blood in a candle and read some silly poem Jade composed about two hours ago." "Um…maybe we should go inside," Martha said quickly when she noticed Jade looked like she was seconds away from slapping the Doctor. "Come along, Doc," Jack said, pulling on the Doctor's arm as they headed for the steps leading up to the massive front doors of Chillingham Castle. Donna opened the doors of the castle and they stepped inside. On a nearby table they saw five large flashlights, some equipment and another piece of paper. They took the flashlights and Martha took the piece of paper. "You have one night to explore Chillingham Castle," she read aloud as she held her torch light up to the paper. "Try to explore as many of the rooms as possible and use the equipment to try to verify the existence of spirit." "Ghosts, they're ghosts," Jack said. "Not spirit. Spirit sounds so goofy." "The whole bleedin' thing is goofy, why should it matter what they call the undead?" the Doctor said. "Sorry, I'm sorry, continue," he said when Martha looked at him. "In each room you will find more information about that particular room and any ghostly inhabitants it might have. Use this information in your search for spirit. And that's it," she said, laying the piece of paper down on the table. "I just hope there aren't a heap of narrow stairs in this place that I'll fall down and bust my bones on," Donna said. They looked at the equipment. There was an infrared camera, a thermal imager and a device that measured temperature changes and a Geiger counter. The Doctor held back while the other four each grabbed a device. The Doctor watched Rose while she and the others used their torches to look around. When she walked off to the right, he followed her while the others dispersed to other rooms in the castle. Rose heard footsteps behind her and looked over her shoulder. "Oh, it's you," she said to the Doctor. "Yes, it's me. Sorry, I'm not a big slobbering ghoulie but it's just little ol' me. Where ya headed? I thought I might relieve my boredom by exploring with you. Besides, I am bereft of ghost hunting equipment. What do you have?" "Um, I think I got the thing that picks up body heat," Rose said, looking it over. "A thermal imaging detector is the proper name." "Fine, a thermal imaging detector. I don't care what it is as long as it works." "Why? You're not gonna find anything and…" "BAAAAAH!" The Doctor and Rose screamed when Jack suddenly jumped up behind them and yelled. He ran away laughing while Rose grabbed the Doctor's arm to prevent him from beating the life out of him. "Harkness, if you do that again, you'll join the ghosts here!" the Doctor screamed. "Calm down, Doctor, play along," Rose said, patting his arm. "This is gonna be a long night, Rose. I have a feeling we made a huge mistake bringing Jack with us," he said to her while they walked into a room.
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