Chapter Seven


After searching the monastery, the War Doctor showed them all a huge arsenal and training room he had found. The room was made of stone but was decorated with more tapestries and racks of weapons of various sizes, makes and models. At the far end of the room was a shooting gallery with round archery targets hanging down from the wall and wooden posts that had been carved into crude representations of people. Upon inspection, the Doctors found that the posts and targets had burn marks on them from laser blaster fire. In the center of the room was a huge training area that was covered with bulky leather mats.

Clara was inspecting a rack filled with naginata spears that had alien symbology etched into the blade. On the other side of the room, the War Doctor was looking at a rack filled with blasters. While Clara inspected the naginata, Eleven walked up beside her and lifted one with a red wooden handle off the wooden pegs holding it up. The end of the handle had a huge red tassel attached to it and it had gold swirls all along it.

"Excuse me, Claraboo," Eleven said.

Clara frowned in confusion. She turned and noticed Ten was standing in the center of the training area, a huge scimitar in his hand. As Eleven approached him, he got into a ready stance and held the scimitar up in front of him while Eleven stopped, stood with his legs apart and raised the naginata up towards the sky.

"Um…what are you doing?" Clara said as the War Doctor turned to watch them.

"I must defend your honor," Eleven said dramatically to her. "My other self has laid claim to you and I must not allow that to happen. He shall die by my spear."

"And you shall die by my sword," Ten said.

"And you both should be sectioned," the War Doctor said, rolling his eyes while Clara laughed.

The two Doctors began to circle each other while the War Doctor shook his head and muttered to himself about how they needed to grow up and get a life.

"So…we meet at last, Lord Ruffly Hair," Eleven said to Ten when he stopped moving.

"Yes, finally Lord Chinataga, I have met you in combat," Ten said pompously as he jabbed a finger his way.

"Oi, lay off my chin," Eleven said to him.

"Oh sorry…"

Ten cleared his throat.

"Okay, let's start again then. Finally, Lord No Eyebrows To Speak Off, I have met you in combat," he said.

Clara laughed as Eleven rolled his eyes at that remark.

"Do I go insane in my later years?" the War Doctor said as the two Doctors readied themselves for the mock battle. "First, I regenerate into a pair of fetuses and then I spend my free time thinking I'm a samurai in the Shogun film. If this is my future, I want no part of it."

"And now…to battle," Eleven said, ignoring his past self.

"Yes, to battle," Ten said.

They stayed still for a moment and then they clanged their blades against each other one time.

"Well played," Ten said, lowering his scimitar.

"Yes, I'm knackered now," Eleven said while Clara bent over laughing. "I can't remember when I've ever been so winded."

"You know what, I'm going. I'm going to find some food or a bed or something like that. You lot have fun in the nursery," the War Doctor said before he headed towards the door.

"But sensei, come back," Eleven said to him while Ten sniggered. "You have to congratulate me on my victory and give me some profound wisdom."

"Here's some profound wisdom," the War Doctor said, sticking his head around the door. "Grow up!"

"Thanks, Gramps, for the words to the wise," Eleven said when the War Doctor left.

"Don't worry, you fought a splendid battle," Ten said to him.

"And you, you are a worthy opponent," Eleven said, bowing.

Clara giggled when Ten returned the bow, said Namaste to him and returned the scimitar to its place on the rack.

"I think I like the two of you together," Clara said as Eleven returned the naginata to its place.

"Well, unfortunately we can't stay like this. He has his timeline to go back to and I have mine and you have yours," Eleven said. "But since there's nothing here and we might have to wait for the loonies to return, why not have a bit of fun."

"Yes," Ten said, walking up beside him. "We like fun, unlike Mister Gloom and Doom who left the room."

"Say, that rhymes," Eleven said.

"So does Judoon platoon upon the moon."

Clara noticed the two of them shared a wistful look for a moment before Ten turned his attention back to Clara.

"On a more serious note," he said to her. "Why would a supposedly humble and benign group of saintly women have an arsenal Attila the Hun would be proud of?"

"Yes. Stocked arsenal, stocked treasure room, posh place to hang your funny looking hat. Seems our Sisterhood is a bit ambitious in their thinking," Eleven said.

"Seems to me they've been planning to branch out and invade others for quite some time now," Ten added.

"Which means we may have to look elsewhere for our quarry," Eleven said.

"But how?" Clara said.

"We could try a scan for artron energy, see if something registers," Ten said.

"Yes, if they're somewhere where the energy is visible. If they're shielded, it won't do much good."

"Still, worth a look, eh?"

"Better than sitting around here being Bruce Lee all day," Eleven said.

"Oh, I don't know. Bruce Lee was a nice man," Ten added.

"Ah yes, indeed he was. Very intelligent man," Eleven said, putting his arm around Clara. "Shame what happened to him. Far too young."

Ten nodded before smiling at Clara.

"So…shall we go get The Wet Blanket and run a scan for our missing maniacs and their captives?"

"Lead on, Ninja Master," Clara said.

"Ninja, eh?" Ten mused while Clara chuckled. "I could be a ninja, yeah."

"Not with those sandshoes of yours," Eleven said.

"They are not sandshoes and I wouldn't talk if I were you since your chin would stick out even if you were hiding behind a tree."

"Leave my chin alone!" Eleven said, putting his arm around Clara as the three of them left the room.

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