SNOG ALL THE DOCTORS!

Chapter Three

"Come along, Come along," the First Doctor said as he stepped outside his TARDIS. "We have much to see."

Barbara, Ian and Susan came outside and looked around. There were standing in the middle of a field and in the distance was a crystal castle with tall spires. The castle gleamed in the sunlight.

"Where are we, Grandfather?" Susan asked while Ian closed the TARDIS door.

"This is Marvello. And that is the palace of the ruler of Marvello. His name is Tyrenius and he's a personal friend of mine. The last time I saw him he asked me to come back sometime for a spot of tea. I think we should take him up on his invitation and relax for a change."

"Sounds good to me," Ian said.

They froze when a woman suddenly appeared in front of them. She was holding the spotter's guide in her hands and she made a face when she saw One.

"Ugh, it is true, I was hoping they put the wrong photo in here," River said.

"Who is that?" Barbara said to the Doctor.

"I haven't the faintest idea," One said as River closed the book and walked up to him.

"I can see why you became a fetus since you started out as a crusty old fart," River said, looking him over.

"I beg your pardon, madam?" One said angrily. "I do not like insults, especially from strangers!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," River said.

One and River stared at one another while his companions looked on.

"Is there a reason you're staring at me, young lady?" One finally said.

"Yeah, I'm debating on whether or not I want to snog you. When I thought of doing this, I thought it'd be a great idea but that's before I ran into the circus clown and now I've found Granddad and suddenly I don't like this idea of mine."

"Look, we're very busy," Susan said, stepping up beside One. "Grandfather has things to do so could you please leave him alone?"

"Grandfather?" River said to One. "You never said you had children. Apparently I wasn't the first one to catch your eye. I just hope whoever it was liked prunes and adult nappies because I get the feeling there was a lot of that around. Still, I'll just give you a friendly peck on the cheek so I can tick off another Doctor."

She started to walk up to him but One raised his walking stick and held it in a threatening manner.

"Fine, I didn't want to taste dry skin anyway," River said with a sigh. "Anyway, have fun and be sure to take long rests after every few feet or so before you have a hearts attack and for God's sake, don't run whatever you do!"

"Just get out of here!" One said angrily while River programmed her manipulator.

"Yeah, yeah, Geezer, I'm going," River said before she activated it.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Couldn't we have parked closer to the hospital since you knew we'd be going there," Rose said to the Tenth Doctor while she and him made their way to the hospital on New Earth.

"Nah, it's not that far," Ten said. "Besides, we can chat and get to know each other better, yeah?"

Rose nodded and took his hand. They were halfway to the hospital when River suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Hell yeah!" River said, pumping her fist. "I finally hit the jackpot!"

"I'm sorry," Ten said. "Who are you?"

River answered him by plowing straight into him, seizing him and snogging him as both of them fell over onto the apple grass.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" Rose yelled as the Doctor tried to push River off of him.

She slapped River on the back repeatedly while the Doctor kept trying to get her off him. River snogged him quickly, aware that the annoying blonde was raining blows down on her. River finally came up for air and rolled off the stunned Doctor. She gasped when Rose followed her and kept up the assault.

"Alright, Chavzilla, I stopped now!" River said angrily as she got to her feet. "Sheesh, call off your attack dog, will ya?" she said to the Doctor as Ten got to his feet and grabbed hold of Rose from behind.

"Stay away from him," Rose growled at her.

River studied her.

"Let me guess, this was another of your strumpet girlfriends," she said to Ten as she pointed at Rose.

"I wouldn't call others Strumpet," Rose snarled at her while the Doctor held her back. "Especially since you practically pounced on him and shoved your tongue down his bleedin' throat!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going then. Sheesh, it was just a kiss," River muttered as she programmed her manipulator.

"Hold on, where did you get a vortex manipulator?" Ten said to River while she finished programming it.

"Lovely chap, he was a lot more eager than you were, I'll tell you that," River said with a wink. "And he gave me this as a gift. But anyway, I'll leave you alone with Cujo here. Have fun, kiddies!"

She blew Rose a kiss before she vanished from view.

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