Chapter Six

River fell silent when she finished her explanation and looked at her husband and parents with a sheepish grin.

"It was a joke really," she said to them. "Just a bit of harmless fun."

"Do you realize how long it will take me to go back in time and erase your shenanigans from the memories of my other selves so the timelines won't be disrupted?" Eleven said.

"I just wanted to see what it was like to kiss your other selves, sweetie," River said innocently.

"And the reason why I'm here instead of just doing what needs to be done is you're going to go and apologize to Sarah for calling her a strumpet," Eleven said. "I would take you back in time and have you apologize to Rose for your attack dog remark but that's not possible."

"She hit me repeatedly on the back," River said.

"Because you pounced on me and shoved your tongue down my throat in front of her," Eleven growled.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't do what she did and lure you into bed. I was trying to hurry up and get out of there before you did something to me," River said. "And I wasn't serious about the strumpet remark, I was just teasing her."

"Funny, I don't recall Sarah laughing," Eleven said dryly.

"Fine. I'll come with you and reverse the damage," River said. "I didn't mean to get your knickers in a twist by doing this."

The Doctor used his sonic screwdriver to unlock the cage door and River stepped out.

"I suppose you're going to punish me now," River said to her parents.

"Actually, I thought it was funny," Amy said. "Well, I did," she said when the Doctor and Rory looked at her. "I mean, I know you have to go back and undo the damage but your reactions must have been priceless. Besides, she didn't mean any harm by it so go easy on her."

Amy took Rory's hand and they walked back into the TARDIS. The Doctor waited until they shut the TARDIS door before he chuckled and smiled at his wife.

"You are cheeky, you know that?" he said.

"And you love it," River said, putting her hand on his chest.

"Well, what you did was reckless and it means a lot of work for me," the Doctor said.

"Yes. But you would have done the same, love," River said. "And actually, you have done something similar to that. Cleopatra, Elizabeth the First, Eleanor of Aquitaine and who knows who else throughout time and space. You are a space pimp, admit it!"

The Doctor's eyes twinkled and he pulled her close to him.

"As I recall, you were the one jumping through time and space kissing everyone," he said.

"No, I kissed you," River said.

"And Jack."

"Well, that's because your attack dog was beside you. I had to kiss someone. Actually, he wasn't that bad. I might go back and find him again," River teased.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Eleven said.

"Oh? Why? Would you get jealous if I kissed him again?"

"No. You might find yourself chained to a bed with heaps of sex toys shoved into every orifice," the Doctor said.

"Ooo, sounds exciting. Maybe we could try that little scenario?" River purred as she ran her finger up the Doctor's chest.

She giggled when Eleven pretended to consider that.

"First, I have to fix what you did," he said.

"Oh alright," River said with an exaggerated sigh. "Afterwards then."

She kissed her husband and put her arms around him while Eleven deepened the kiss. They kissed for a few minutes before River stopped and smiled at him.

"I thought your third self was the best kisser but now I'm torn between him and you," she said.

"Oh, I'm definitely the best, hands down," the Doctor said as he took her hand.

"Hmmm, not entirely convinced of that. You're gonna have to change my mind about that," River teased.

She chuckled and kissed his cheek when the Doctor grinned at that. She kicked the cell door closed with her foot and held her husband's hand while they walked to the TARDIS.


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