SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Chapter Fifteen “And once more we trudge up the stairs back to the little jail cell,” Alan said as he followed Rose up to their room. “Aw, don’t worry, we’ll only be here for a moment and then we’ll go off somewhere else,” Rose replied. “Where? There’s nothing to do.” “Well, we can always go for another walk and talk some more.” She walked over to Jackie’s room and knocked on the door. “Mum, it’s me,” she said. There was no answer. “Maybe the Vashta Nerada got her?” Alan offered. She grinned. “Nah, she probably just went to get something to eat. It’s nearly 2.30 now.” “Drat, there goes the hope for getting extra money then,” Alan sighed. “There are plenty of things we can do that don’t cost money.” Alan raised his eyebrow. “Are you thinking of something in particular?” “Maybe,” she said, coyly. “Wow, I think I like this new facet of our relationship.” Rose gave his hand a squeeze, walked over to their room and unlocked the door. She opened it and walked inside. “Well, the spot hasn’t left us yet,” she said, checking the ceiling. “No, but we seem to have some mail on the floor.” Rose turned to Alan who was standing in the doorway pointing down at a folded piece of paper on the floor in front of him. Rose walked over, picked it up and a pile of bank notes slid out of it onto the floor. “Whoever sent this is immediately my best friend for life,” Alan said, staring at the money. “You sure?” Rose said, glancing at the note. “Because mum wrote this.” “Correction. Whoever sent this is not my best friend for life, but I’ll accept her monetary offering just the same.” “That’s what I figured,” Rose replied. She read the note. “You wanna know what this says?” she asked him. “Dear Doctor wannabe, keep your grimy half alien hands off my daughter and do not insert any part of your person into any part of hers or I will unhinge my python-like jaw and swallow you whole, hug and kisses, the warder. Am I close?” Rose bent over laughing when Alan gave her an impish grin. “No, but that’s pretty good,” Rose said when she could finally speak again. “Okay, let’s hear it,” Alan said. “First off, you’ll be pleased to know she called you Alan in the opening.” “Well, thank God for small miracles.” Rose cleared her throat. “Dear Rose and Alan, I rang Pete this morning and explained what you had in mind. As expected, he was not too thrilled with the two of you just going off on your own, but I managed to convince him that you would be alright and that this was for everyone’s benefit, given the fact that Alan has just been thrown into our midst.” “Well, excuse me for being tossed into the middle of your happy, functional family then,” Alan said, rolling his eyes. Rose put her hand on his chest while she continued to read. “He decided to go ahead and wire you two some money, which is to be spent solely on provisions for your journey and also can be used to eat at the restaurant. This is not money you can just spend wherever you feel like it.” “Oh yes, and there are soooooooo many places in town we can spend it at,” Alan replied. “I vote we ignore her and take in a Norwegian burlesque show. I’m sure there are several of those in town.” “Shhhh,” Rose said, putting her finger against his lips. Alan smiled and kissed it. “I hope that you two are grateful that I took the time to convince Pete to go along with this daft scheme of yours, so he won’t come here, find out what you’re doing and scream at you in person.” “I will be available this evening in my room for butt kissing and groveling, so you two better show up and worship my majesty,” Alan said. Rose giggled at that. She sobered up and read the rest of the note. “If you come back and I’m not in my room, I’ll probably be eating at the restaurant. You are welcome to join me, if you behave yourselves.” “Selves, plural? Doesn’t she mean me?” “No, because I have a tendency to get a bit out of control when I’m with you, you know.” “Well, I’m so sorry I’m a bad influence on you, my Rose. I suppose if you stay with me long enough, you’ll also contract Noble-itis.” “Probably will.” “Is that it, then?” “Pretty much, just wishing us a good day.” “She is? Are you sure this is your actual mum that wrote this? You sure she doesn’t have a clone running around town as well?” “You know, my mum can be sweet to you when she wants to be. Search that big Doctor database in your head; I think you’ll find there were some times when she was actually nice to him.” “Yes, him, not me.” “Well, you have to make an effort as well. Like it or not, you’re gonna have to put up with her for the next ten years at least.” ‘Ugh, don’t remind me.” He sighed. “Okay, okay, I realize that if I do behave myself around her then she’ll be friendlier towards me.” “There ya go, another lesson learned. See, being human isn’t all that difficult.” “No, it isn’t. Be nice to my lover’s mummy and she’ll be nice to you and buying combs lead to sex. I’m well on my way to assimilating into Earth society.” “Yes, you are,” she said, kissing his lips. She bent down, picked up the money and put it in her pocket. “So, now that I have some money, we can go on a little shopping spree!” “Yippeeeee, something to do! Thank God for small mercies.” Rose laughed and tickled him under the chin. “Alons-y, Alonzo,” she said in a deep voice. “God, I love it when you say it like that,” he said as she laughed. “I certainly picked the right name.” She took his hand, shut the door, locked it and headed with him back down the stairs. “So, what shall we get?” Alan asked when they entered the shop. Rose looked around. “Well, we’re gonna need basic necessities like toothbrushes and toothpaste and shampoo and things like that. So, I’ll go get those while you think of other things.” She eyed him. “Relevant things,” she said. “I will.” She giggled and wandered off as Alan shook his head and studied the shelves. He picked up a pad of paper, put it back down and fiddled with some pencils in a plastic container. “Found a couple of rucksacks,” Rose said walking over to him. “What d’ya think? Are they big enough?” Alan took one and turned it over in his hands. He looked in all the pockets. “It’s big enough for me, I don’t wanna carry all that much. However, I do know that you like to cram yours full, so you might need jumbo size…” “I’m not gonna cram mine full. I think I can live with this size, I was just getting your opinion.” “Rose, I’m half human now, which means I don’t have his stamina anymore. I don’t want a great big weight on my back while I’m trudging through the countryside. Despite what you and your mum might think, I’m not gonna be carrying two tons of crap on this journey.” “Okay, then I’ll get these then.” She started to walk away, but Alan tapped her on the shoulder. “Are we going to need paper and pencils for anything?” he said gesturing to the shelf. Rose frowned. “Um, we might, you never know when we have to make notes or jot down things. I would get a couple of pads and get some pens, so we won’t have to worry about sharpening the pencils.” “Paper and pens, check,” Alan said, grabbing them. “Open the rucksacks and we can use them as a shopping trolley until we get up to the register.” “Hold on.” Rose walked around him and picked up a red leather-bound diary from the next shelf. She studied it for a moment and then looked at him. “I think we should get a couple of these.” “For what purpose?” “To record our thoughts. You know, we both need a way to write down our feelings and I know that there are some things you want to keep personal from me.” “Rose, I told you…” “Alan, it’s alright. I mean, I love that you’re willing to tell me anything, but you don’t have to, really. If you need to vent something personal about me or about the Doctor and you don’t want me to know, that’s okay. There are some things I want to keep personal and it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, I just need to sort out some stuff on my own, just like you do.” She kissed him. “I promise I will be open and honest with you, but everyone needs to have private thoughts and feelings, even you.” Alan stared at the diary. “I guess you’re right. I told you it isn’t your job to sort me out and writing out my feelings will help me. Plus, he kept a diary as well, so…” “He did? The Doctor had a diary?” “Oh yeah, he had a 500 year diary he purchased on Gallifrey. Mind you, he didn’t write in it every day, but he did write some stuff down.” “Really? Like what?” Alan eyed her. Everyone needs to have private thoughts and feelings, even the Doctor,” he teased as he tapped her on the nose. “Point taken.” She put two of the diaries in the rucksack along with the paper and pens. “There, now back to the toiletry items,” she said, walking away. Alan walked away from the standing shelves and looked at the shelves mounted on the walls. He fingered various items, picking them up and putting them back. “Hey!” Alan turned around. Rose was standing behind him holding out a pair of tortoiseshell reading glasses. “Look, they have these, now you’ll be able to read the menu clearly.” “I don’t need them.” Rose frowned. “Why? Is your eyesight better than his?” Her frown deepened when Alan let out a snicker. He put his hands on her shoulders. “Let me tell you a little secret, Amo’tiri. The Doctor doesn’t really need those reading glasses of his.” “He doesn’t?” “Nope, his vision is perfectly fine, just like mine.” “Then, why does he wear them?” “He wears them to impress people like you. He calls his glasses his brainy specs and that’s what they are. They are there to make him look extra intelligent so people will be more inclined to listen to him.” Rose sighed. “That figures,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Sorry, Rose, I appreciate you thinking of me and my eyesight, but I can see everything just fine. If it’s any consolation, his fifth self did the same thing, so you’re not the only one that got fooled.” “Well, will you wear them anyway?” Rose said. Alan frowned. “What for?” Rose coughed and shifted her foot. “I think…he looked cute when he wore them and since you’re his duplicate, then…” Alan stared at her doe eyed expression. “Can I ask you something? Is there anything I don’t do or wear or say that isn’t cute?” ‘Um…no.” “So, I could punch myself in the face, send blood trickling down my chin and you’d go, awwww, how cute!” “Okay, um…yeah, I guess there are some instances when you wouldn’t look cute. But, you do look cute in the glasses, so could you try them on?” Alan shook his head. “I don’t know about you, Tyler,” he said. “It seems like the more I get to know you, the more afraid I am you’re gonna pounce on me without warning. First my hair, then my outfit, now these.” He put the glasses on and pretended to cringe. “Don’t hurt me,” he said, shaking his body. “I did what you told me to do, don’t jump on my head and drool all over my body, please!” Rose giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll restrain myself, pretty boy,” she purred. Alan’s mouth dropped open. “What is it with people thinking both of us are pretty boys?” “You are. You’re very pretty.” She raised her eyebrow when he made a face. “There is nothing wrong with having a pretty face,” she said. “Oh? Is that why you went for Adam?” “For the last time, he was not my boyfriend,” she said as he sniggered. “God, the whole compound was filling with cement, I wasn’t about to leave him there.” “Well, considering what he did afterwards, maybe you should have.” “You don’t mean that.” “I don’t, but he did. You don’t get how furious he was at him, do you?” “Yes, I have a good idea.” “No, you don’t. You see, dropping him off and leaving him at his mum’s house wasn’t his first choice. Clicking his fingers and ramming his sonic screwdriver into the hole in his head was. That or going into his laboratory, grabbing a vial of sulfuric acid, clicking his fingers and then pouring…” “Okay, okay, I get it. He was angry. I’m sorry, I made a bad judgment call. When we get our TARDIS, I won’t pick up any more pretty boys ever again.” She gasped when he dropped the rucksacks and grabbed her roughly. “You won’t be picking up anyone, full stop. This coral is for us and us alone. No other companions allowed. Got that?” “Yes, I got it.” “Good. And speaking of the TARDIS being our own private pleasure palace, where is the condom section? Don’t want those stomach babies coming out at a moment’s notice, you know.” Rose gave him a playful slap on the back as he waggled his eyebrows. “So, are you getting the glasses or not?” Rose asked. “Oh, I suppose I will just so you can get off on my ultra brainy look. Wouldn’t want to deprive you of a chance to drool over me, you know,” he said, dropping the glasses in one of the rucksacks. Rose let out a laugh and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you,” she said. “Just know that I’ll wear them for you and only you.” “Good.” Alan gave her a kiss on the cheek. They grabbed the rucksacks and held each other’s hands as they continued to look through the shop for provisions.
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