SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Chapter Thirty Five Before leaving, Rose had found a tattoo parlor in the phone book and managed to get directions. When they finally found it, she and Alan stood outside and looked at the tiny shop that was gaudily decorated and had TATTOO YOU written above the door in big, bold red letters. Alternative music blared from the open door and inside Alan could see a big, burly tattooed man working on a guy’s arm. “Oh yeah, isn’t this wizard? This whole setup just screams out professionalism.” “Come on, Alan, it’ll be fine.” “Are you sure? Because you can pick up diseases from dirty instruments.” “I know for a fact that in most places tattoo artists have to be registered and follow guidelines before they let them set up shop. This place is no different than a hundred other tattoo places in London. Just come inside and trust me.” Alan looked down at his feet as he followed Rose inside. “I can’t believe my body parts are cooperating and actually taking me inside,” he said to himself. The tattoo artist looked over at them. “Can I help you?” “Yeah, we both wanna get tattoos,” Rose said. “Go ahead and pick out what you want, I’ll be with you in a moment,” he said. He turned his attention back to the man he was working on while Rose walked over to a wall filled with pictures of artwork. Alan followed behind, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this voluntarily. What’s wrong with me?” he said. “Nothing is wrong with you. Most people have a tattoo nowadays, just relax and find a Stitch if he has one.” “What if he doesn’t? What am I supposed to do, get a flaming skull?” he said, pointing to a drawing in front of him. “Um…no, flaming skull would look terrible on ya.” “And Stitch would look delightful?” She gave him a kiss on the cheek. He sighed and shook his head as he scanned the pictures. “Eagle,” he muttered as he looked. “Skull, panther, bleeding heart, cobra…zombie? Who in the bloody hell would get a corpse tattooed on their body?” He looked over when Rose tugged on his arm. “Follow me, the Disney section is over here,” she said. He walked with her to the far end of the display and Rose smiled as she pointed to a picture near the top of the wall. There were two Stitches. One was sitting and the other was standing and playing a huge ukulele. “There ya go, I found ya Stitch,” she said, proudly. “Personally, the one playing the ukulele fits ya better.” “Uh-huh, well gee, Lilo, why don’t you get a tattoo of her,” he said, pointing to the Lilo tattoo next to the Stitch ones. “Then, we could match.” “Nah, I want Amo’tiri on my arm. Speaking of…you got a piece of paper? I want you to draw what it looks like in Gallifreyan so I can give it to the guy.” “You are barking mad, Rose Tyler,” he said as she giggled. “I cannot believe you are getting Gallifreyan writing put on your arm.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. He put the pad against the wall and drew the circles that made up Amo’tiri while Rose watched with interest. “There, “he said, when he finished. “You sure you want that on your arm?” Rose studied the intricate pattern of circles. “Yeah, I do,” she said. “Barking mad, you are. Out of your tree,” he said, shaking his head. They looked over when the man the tattoo artist was working on got up from the chair. The tattoo artist followed him to the cash register and after paying him, the man left. The tattoo artist smiled at Alan and Rose as he headed back to the chair. “Find what you want?” he asked. “Yeah, I want you to do this drawing on my upper arm and…” She looked at Alan. He sighed. “I want that,” he said, pointing to the Stitch with the ukulele, “on my upper arm. And please make it kinda small so it fits under my shirt sleeve, would ya?” “No problem. Just let me get everything cleaned up and ready for ya. Which one’s going first?” “I’ll go first,” Rose said. He nodded as he grabbed a rag from a bucket of disinfectant and wiped down the chair, a little rolling chair that he had been sitting on and a little silver table beside it. Once that was finished, he went over to a sink, washed his hands with soap and water and put on surgical gloves. He then opened up a drawer and pulled out a needle wrapped in a sealed packet and set it on the table. Rose looked at Alan. “See, it’s sterile, nothing to worry about.” “It’s a good thing.” “What’s the design you want me to put on your arm?” the man said. Rose handed him the drawing. “And do it exactly like that, could ya?” she asked. “No problem. What color you want it to be?” “Black.” “Which arm?” “The right one.” “Go ahead and sit down.” Rose set down in the chair while he went and gathered more supplies and poured some fresh ink into a disposable ink cap. Alan walked over to her left side and stood there watching with interest while Rose relaxed. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. The man grabbed a stenciling pencil, set the paper on the table in front of him and looking from it to her arm began to carefully draw out the design. After fifteen minutes, he was finished and sat back. “Is this how you want it to look?” he asked, holding up a hand mirror. Rose looked at the design and glanced at Alan. “Is that correct?” Alan nodded. “Yeah, that’s how I want it to look,” she said. The man opened the sealed packages in front of her, assembled everything and went to work. Alan watched her face while he etched the design into her skin. He noticed a pained look on her face a couple of times. “Painful?” he asked. “Kinda.” The man smiled. “First tattoo?” he asked Rose. “Yeah.” “You picked a good spot for a beginning tattoo. Arm is the least painful because it’s all muscle. If you get it where there’s bone, that’s what really hurts.” She looked up when Alan laughed. “What?” she said. “Oooooh God, you’re mother is gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.” The man chuckled. “Not the first time I’ve heard that,” he said. After a half hour, he finished and sat back. “There ya go,” he said, wiping away a tiny amount of blood. He held up the mirror. “What’d ya think?” he asked. Rose smiled. “I love it,” she said. She looked at Alan. “Barking mad.” “What do you think of the tattoo?” she asked as he laughed. “The tattoo is fine, but you’re mad as a hatter.” Rose smiled at the man. “I talked him into doing this.” “I can tell.” He wrapped the arm in a fresh bandage. “Keep this on for at least two hours and don’t go swimming or soak in a hot tub for at least two weeks or the ink might fade. Don’t bother the scab that’ll form over it and try not to expose it to the sun for awhile because both of these things can also cause the tattoo to fade. You need to keep it clean and you can put cocoa butter or lanolin on it to keep the skin moist along with using soap and warm water to keep it free from infection. Got it?” “Yup.” “Well then, congratulations on your first tattoo. Are both of you on the same bill?” “Yes.” “Okay, then you can have a seat over there or stand by him. But, it’s your turn now.” “Oh joy,” Alan muttered as she hopped out of the chair. He waited until he wiped everything down and disposed of the dirty needles and equipment before he sank into the chair. “Tell me again why I’m doing this?” he asked. “Because you love me and because you’re doing something different from the Doctor.” “Mmmm, well, you just keep on reminding me of that then,” he said as she laughed. “Thanks again,” Rose said, waving as she and Alan left the tattoo parlor. “I can’t believe I went through with it.” Rose laughed. “How many times are you gonna say that?” “Until I get it through my head that I just let a strange tattooed man take a needle and put a Disney character on my arm for the rest of this life.” “I think it’s cute, my little Stitch.” “Yeah, well, I’ll probably think it’s cute too after my arm quits hurtin’ like hell,” he said. Rose tousled his hair. “Come on, I’ll take you anywhere you want to eat and that’ll make you feel better about all this.” They walked all around the downtown area. They passed several restaurants, but Alan wasn’t interested in any of them. After the fifth one they passed up, Rose finally took hold of Alan’s hand and stopped him. “Are you mad at me?” she asked. Alan gave her a shocked look. “Uh…no, why?” “Because you’ve passed up a bunch of restaurants and I thought you might be angry at me for making you do this,” she said, gesturing to the arm. He chuckled and took her around the waist. “If I didn’t want to do it, then I would have said no and put my foot down. I did it for you and I’m not mad at you, not in the least. I’m just haven’t been thrilled with the restaurants we’ve passed. I really don’t wanna eat at McDonalds or some fancy schmancy restaurant. That’s the only reason why I’ve been walking by them; it has nothing to do with you. So, stop worrying, alright? I promise you if I get angry at you, you will know it.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “In time, I will like my Stitch tattoo….once I can see it, that is. But, this was all for your benefit, which is why I asked him to make it small enough to fit under my shirt sleeve. And I hope to God the Doctor doesn’t come back here and see this because he will never let me live it down.” They walked on and turned the corner. As they passed by a Wendy’s restaurant, Rose suddenly felt Alan stop and turned to look at him. He was staring at a sign in the restaurant window with a huge grin on his face. “What?” Rose said. “What is it?” He started snickering and pointed to the sign. Rose turned and read it. TRY OUR BIGGIE FRIES, ONLY 99 CENTS. Rose shrugged. “What about it?” Alan stared at her in disbelief. “Rose, do you see the key word in this sign?” Rose looked at it again. She read the sign twice before she finally realized why Alan was giggling. “Oh, for the love of God, grow up, Alan Timelord,” she said. “What? They apparently have fries here that are made out of biggies! Am I reading that right or not?” Rose tried not to laugh at the puerile joke, but she couldn’t help it. “It doesn’t mean that in America, doofus,” she said as he bent over laughing. “Kids don’t call their poo biggies in America.” “Well, it means that in Britain. New York is a tourist destination; don’t they realize that they are advertising poo fries? I wonder if any other Brits have noticed this before.” “If they have, I’m sure they’ve kept quiet about it.” “Ooooh, I bet not. I bet there’s quite a few that go in looking for shite chips. In fact…I suddenly have an urge to see what biggie fries taste like. Come on, my dear, I found a restaurant!” “Oh Jesus,” Rose said, following him inside. He walked up the counter and the lady behind it smiled at him. “Welcome to Wendy’s. May I take your order?” “Yes,” Alan said, trying to keep a straight face. “I would like a double cheeseburger with everything on it, a large Coke and…biggie fries.” The lady entered that in the cash register. She glanced up and frowned when she heard Alan snickering to himself. “That’ll be 5.75,” she said. Rose stepped forward. “We’re together,” she said. “Okay, what would you like?” “I’d like a Caesar salad with some chili and a large Coke.” “Biggie fries,” Alan said, nudging her back. “No,” Rose hissed as he giggled. She noticed the woman’s confusion. “I’m sorry,” she said. “My boyfriend is laughing like a little kid because in England biggie is what kids call their poo. So, he wanted to come in here and get some biggie fries for a giggle.” “Really? That’s what biggie means in England?” the lady said. They nodded. “Oh man, I have to tell everyone else. Thinking back on it now, we did actually get a couple of British people in here who did the same thing.” “Told ya,” Alan said, nudging Rose. The lady smiled. “Well, I can assure you that the fries aren’t made of poo.” She laughed with them. “Um, that comes to 10.75,” she said, sobering up. Rose handed her credit card to her. “There you go, it’ll be just a minute,” the lady said, handing the card back to her. “And thanks so much for the laugh, it’s been kind of a crappy day today and I needed cheering up.” She went to fill their order while Alan nudged Rose and kissed her temple. “Ah, now let’s see what biggie fries taste like,” Alan said as they found a seat. Rose snickered. “Like I said, this whole journey with you will not be dull for one moment,” she said. Alan reached into the yellow cardboard box that had BIGGIE across it in big red letters and grabbed a chip. He waved it in front of Rose’s face. “I dare ya!” he said with an impish grin. Rose plucked the chip from his hand and shoved it in her mouth. Alan feigned shock. “That’s disgusting. You’re eating poo,” he said as she snorted out laughter. “How’s it taste?” “Like a very salty chip.” She took a bite of chili while Alan took a bite of a chip. He chewed it thoughtfully for a moment. “Not bad, I’ve had better, less shite-filled chips in my day.” She rolled her eyes. “Aaaaaaaah,” Rose sighed. “You are a handful, you are.” He grinned. Opening up the foil surrounding the burger, he took a bite. “Mmmm, this is really good. Mouth is now filled with greasy, burgery goodness. Here, try.” He tore off a piece of the burger and popped it in her mouth. “Mmm, yeah, it is good. Here, try the chili.” She dipped her spoon in and slowly leaned over the table. Alan took a bite and licked his lips. “Delicious. For a restaurant that specializes in turning feces into fries, they sure do have delicious food.” Rose smiled at that and the two of them chatted while they finished the rest of their meal. After they finished eating, they walked back to the hotel, gathered up their things and checked out. “Right, on to New Jersey then?” Rose said. “Lead on, little adventurer.” They caught a taxi and went back to the airport. Rose paid for another flight across the Hudson River into Newark, New Jersey and they hurried towards the dirigible. “Goodbye, New York, hello New Jersey,” Alan said as they boarded the blimp. “And pretty soon, we will be in Florida and then it’s the rest of the country and then the rest of the world!”
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