THE ADVENTURES OF THE DOCTOR'S AMAZING HAND

Chapter Ten

Rose grunted when the guards shoved her to the floor of a small, semi-dark, empty room. She quickly got to her knees.

"The Doctor, where is he?" she pleaded. "Please tell me if he's alright?"

"We don't know anything about the Doctor," one of the guards said. "The Master said you'll get to see him again at some point so I'd shut your gob if I were you."

Rose leapt to her feet and tried to get past them but the guards rushed her and slammed her up against the concrete wall, knocking the wind out of her.

"Don't try that again," the guard hissed in her face. "We can't kill ya but Mister Saxon can and I assure you he won't make your death pleasant. Now behave!"

Rose grunted when they slammed her down to the floor and walked off. Rose brought her knees up to her chest and her head fell into her hands when the guards slammed the door and locked it. She began to sob quietly; the pain of her separation from the Doctor coming to the fore again after it had dimmed over the past year. She wondered if the Doctor was even around. If perhaps the man had lied to get her to come with him. She wept quietly, her heart aching as she longed to see him again. She paused a moment when she felt someone tugging at the bottom of her jean leg. She lifted her head and her eyes bulged when she saw a severed hand near her leg. She stared at it in confusion, wondering if they had pumped some clear, odorless hallucinogenic gas into the room. Tentatively, she reached out and touched the back, trying to convince herself that she was seeing things. Her eyes nearly popped out when she felt the back of the hand and she pulled her own hand away. She watched in horror as the severed hand walked up to her side and flipped onto its wrist.

Rose, can you understand me?

Rose frowned when she saw the hand signing to her. Dumbly, she nodded in reply.

Good, I'm glad, John signed. Do you remember me? I was the hand that was cut from the Doctor's body.

Rose stared at John in shock, wondering if she had translated correctly. She was taking a sign language course that had been offered through Torchwood but she had just started. She knew the sign language alphabet now but still…

"You're…you're the Doctor's…hand?" she said slowly.

Yes, John signed.

"But how? How can you be alive? You're not attached to him anymore," Rose said.

I don't know, John signed. I came to life when I hit the ground. The Doctor is here, Rose. We were on our way to help you when we saw the Master. He stayed back and I followed to make sure you're alright.

"The Doctor, is he alright? What have they been doin' to him…" she said.

She suddenly trailed off.

"I can't believe I'm askin' a severed hand about the Doctor," she said, shaking her head.

He's alright for the moment, John signed. But there's something you should know about him.

"What?" Rose said.

The Master aged him. He's an old man now, Rose.

Rose stared at John in disbelief.

"How old?" she finally said.

His body's been aged a hundred years.

Rose put her hand over her mouth and laid her head back against the wall, imagining what the Doctor might look like now. John hopped up onto her leg and lay down. He patted the leg sympathetically. Rose's anguish was replaced with curiosity. She gently picked John up and held him.

Can you put me on your shoulder? John signed to her.

Rose put John on her shoulder and smiled when he stroked her hair for a moment. Rose swallowed hard, imagining the Doctor was there with her doing the stroking. She guessed in a way he was there and it gave her some comfort. She held her hand up to her shoulder and John walked onto it. Rose smiled when he lay down on the palm and threaded his fingers through hers, holding her hand. She put her fingers on his back and rubbed him. John squeezed back in reply.

"How are we gonna get outta this?" Rose finally asked.

John flipped up on his wrist and stood in the palm of her hand.

We'll find a way, he signed to her.

Rose thought for a moment.

"You don't remember being on the beach with us, yeah?" she said.

No, he signed.

"But…does the Doctor love me? I told him I loved him when I saw him last and he was going to say something to me but he was cut off. I think he was going to tell me he loved me in return but I don't know for sure. I know you got cut off right after he regenerated but…does he love me?"

Yes.

Rose's breath caught in her throat.

And so do I, John signed to her.

Rose smiled. She took the hand and pressed it against her chest. John lay flat and smiled inwardly when Rose stroked the back of his hand.

"Do you feel that?" she asked.

She put him back on the palm of her hand so he could sign his response.

Yes, it feels good, he signed.

Rose hesitated a moment, feeling a bit awkward, and then she brought him to her lips and kissed the tip of his middle finger. Electric shocks went through John and he felt a euphoria he had never felt in all of his short life. In response, he laid his fingers against Rose's lips, wishing at that moment that he had a set of lips to kiss her with. Rose laid him in her lap and he held her hand again while she leaned her head back against the wall and stared at the door.

The Doctor cursed under his breath as he slowly made his way back to the torture chamber. He knew that he was probably too late and the Master had discovered his disappearance by now. He knew that if that were the case he'd be walking right into his clutches and he'd have to endure another torture session, this time with Rose watching. He cursed his adversary for bringing Rose into this. As much as he wanted to see her, the last thing he wanted was for her to see him in this state and then watch him be tortured by a sadistic madman. He figured it was only a matter of time before they knew John was gone and he hoped his little friend had been able to sneak in with Rose or at least get to safety.

Halfway there, he decided that the Master had probably beaten him to the torture chamber and it was best to concentrate his efforts on getting back to Rose and escaping. His hearts ached, knowing that if he managed to disable the paradox machine, not only would she return to the other universe but her memory of coming here would more than likely be erased and with it, the memories of being reunited with him. He hated that she would have to go back along with the Toclafane and cursed the universe for once again denying him any real happiness.

But for the moment, he knew he couldn't focus on that. He just had to focus on finding Rose and getting her to safety so she could be hidden until Martha returned from her mission.

After awhile, Rose decided to take a nap and prepare herself for what lay ahead. John stood by and watched while she lay down on the concrete floor. She turned on her side, smiled and touched his fingers.

"Thank you for being here with me," she said to him.

John flipped onto his wrist.

You're welcome, Rose, he signed.

Rose crooked her arm and laid it under her head as John came up beside her and lay down. Rose laid her hand on top of his and both she and him lay still until they were both fast asleep.

John was dreaming again. He was attached to the Doctor's body again and he and Rose were standing on the beach. Rose was crying and he was comforting her. The proper Doctor was nowhere to be found. John held her close, nuzzling her hair and kissing her, grateful now that he had lips to kiss her with. But even though he was on the Doctor's body, there was something not right about it. Something different, something…human that he couldn't put his fingers on. It felt like he wasn't finished in some way and yet, he could sense Rose's love for him even though he wasn't the Doctor she fell in love with. This dream was different from the others. In this dream there was no Doctor accusing him of some unknown crime and condemning him, there was only Rose and the promise of a life together. But as they stood there together, suddenly from out of the sky came a cry of anguish and pain. A loud, long scream of despair. He could tell it was the Doctor's voice but he couldn't tell where it was coming from since it seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. Then he heard the Doctor scream again, only this time he was screaming Rose's name. It was such a heartbreaking wail that John felt himself tear up. Then once that died down, the Doctor wailed another name. Donna. The name of the woman who was destined to save the universe. He glanced down at Rose but she didn't seem to notice the wailing, she was still weeping into John's chest.

Then the scene changed and he was alone with the Doctor in his console room. John stepped back when he noticed the Doctor was beating on the wall in an animalistic rage.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" he bellowed as he beat his fists on the wall. "WHY THEM? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM FROM ME? FIRST ROSE, THEN DONNA! WHEN WILL IT END? WHEN WILL I STOP LOSING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT?"

He came over to the console and slammed his fist onto it.

"No more, never again," he said in a choked voice. "I'll never take anyone with me again. No companions, not now, not ever! I won't destroy anymore lives in return for companionship. If I live ten thousand more years I'm going to live those years alone!"

John ached at hearing that. He thought for a moment and then hesitantly approached his friend, wanting to calm him down and comfort him, make him see that things weren't as bad as they seemed and that with time he would be ready for another companion. But when he approached the Doctor, his former owner jerked his head up and stared at him with wild eyes.

"You!" he said to John.

John froze, suddenly scared of the hate in his friend's eyes. The Doctor stood up straight, his eyes dark as he glared at him.

"You!" he repeated, coming towards him. "This is all your fault! You're to blame! I trusted you. I became your friend and you did this to me! I thought you were a nice little hand but you went and caused me to lose everything! How dare you show your face in here again! I wish I'd thrown you in the fire when I first saw you. It's your fault Rose and Donna are gone now! I hate you!"

John was stunned into silence. He put his hands up, backing away as the Doctor gave him a murderous look.

"I want you to leave this TARDIS and never return, d'ya hear me?" the Doctor yelled at him. "Get the hell out of here and out of my life! Go back to Rose and enjoy her because I never will!"

"Doctor," John said to him.

"GET…!" the Doctor bellowed at him.

The dream Doctor's scream was loud enough to wake up John and he instantly got up onto his fingers, trembling violently from fear. He looked over and noticed Rose was still asleep. He neared her body and lay down close to her chest, taking comfort in the feel of her warm body and the sound of her steady breathing. He thought about the dream and what it meant. His spirits sank when he realized that his future might be a bleak one. He heard that faint heartbeat again and realized that it was much louder than before. Was the heartbeat an indication of when all this would happen? Because if so, he knew there wasn't much time left and that scared him.

For the moment though, there was nothing he could do about it. He had to concentrate on the here and now and offer Rose what protection and comfort he could until the Doctor was able to get to her and get her to safety. Lying next to her warm body, he stayed awake while he guarded the woman he loved.

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