THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
Chapter Four "Okay," the Doctor said as Rose came back into the room, "I must take the opportunity to say that Rose is a filthy liar and the fart scenario never happened." "Like hell it didn't," Rose said, sitting back down beside Alan. "I would never be so boorish," the Doctor said, sticking his nose in the air while everyone laughed. "I am a proper Time Lord, a higher species who doesn't let one rip in my companion's face." "You're also a prankster and a smart arse and you thought you were being funny when you did that." "Lies! All lies! Anyway," the Doctor said quickly before Rose could protest. "Next card then." He drew the next number. "Number eleven!" Sarah Jane groaned while her son and his friends laughed. The Doctor drew the card from the other pile. "Pick someone in the room and tell us about one annoying personal habit of theirs." "No!" Luke said, when Sarah Jane's head jerked around and she stared at him. "No, mum, pick someone else." "Well, let's see," Sarah Jane said while everyone laughed. "My son is brilliant, a genius, but when it comes to keeping his room tidy, he needs a little bit of instruction on how to pick up his clothes." Luke blushed while Rani and Clyde sniggered. "I can't tell you how many times I've come into his room and his clothes are just strewn all over the floor like a hurricane hit it. Clyde and Rani are neater than he is." "Okay, mum…" Luke said while Clyde and Rani laughed harder. "There's been several times I've nearly broken my ankle because his jacket was on the floor and…" Everyone laughed when Luke ran over and put his hands over her mouth. Sarah Jane leaned back and put her hand on his shoulder, bringing him down for a kiss on the cheek before Luke walked back to his seat. The Doctor pulled off the next card. "Number twenty six," he said. "ME!" Adam yelled, leaping up from the floor. "Glad to know you're paying attention then, Storm," the Doctor said while everyone laughed. He took a card from the other pile, glanced at it and groaned. "No, better take another one," he said as he tried to put the card under the others. "Why? What is it?" Adam said. "Is it something I'd enjoy doing?" "I don't know who wrote this. I suspect it's my loony brother though," he said, giving Alan a pointed look. "Okay…Adam…do a mock Shakespearian scene where you are the handsome lover and Rain is your betrothed." "Oh crap, I'm going to the restroom. I suddenly have to pee," Rain said, getting up from the sofa. But before she could take two steps, Adam sprinted over to her and slammed down on one knee. "Hark, mine beloved, forsooth, why art thou so full of urine when thine heart is filled with love for me? Surely thine heart longings would cancel out thy bladder?" Rain rolled her eyes while everyone laughed. Adam took Rain's hand and gazed up at her longingly. "Oh, mine beloved, mine plump betrothed with the thunder thighs, I long to get thee into the marriage bed." "Thunder thighs?" Rain said while everyone laughed. "You better watch it, buster, or I'll take hubby's TARDIS and kick you out in Elizabethan times." "Hark, thou art a shrew and I must tame thee so we can go hence to the marriage bed," Adam said. "Thou art a saucy wench but I shall soothe thee with a lively ditty that shall make thine hearts swoon. Observe, mine plump princess." Suddenly he broke into a loud and off-key rendition of Tubthumping. Rain looked at her husband while he continued to serenade her. "I have a theory about the clones," she said to the Doctor. "I think you didn't pour enough energy into the jar and Donna didn't touch the jar long enough and that's why they're all mentally off for some reason. Okay…" she said, looking at Adam, "you've done your routine, show's over now!" "But mine porcine pumpkin," Adam said. "I have only begun to croon and swoon." "You're gonna be swooning when I smack you upside the head, now go away!" Rain said while everyone laughed. "Give me that card!" she added, grabbing the card from the Doctor's hands. They laughed harder when she tore it up into tiny bits and made a neat pile on the coffee table in front of her. The Doctor chuckled as he drew another card from the number pile but before he could read it, Alan zoomed to the center of the group. "I MUST DO THE CHRISTMAS RHUMBA!" he screamed. Rain put her head in her hands and Rose rolled her eyes when Alan began his silly dance. Hope and Faith howled with laughter when he began to bunny hop around. Then there was a knock on the door and before anyone could get up, Alan was bunny hopping his way over to it. He opened the door and smiled when he saw Xashon. "Happy Crimbo, my friend! Come in, come in! I know it's not my house but who cares, I'm welcoming you inside," he said to her. "Thank you, Alan," Xashon said, coming inside while the Doctor and Rain stood up and walked over to her. She embraced them and handed them a medium sized gift wrapped present. The Doctor accepted it. "Won't you come and sit with us? We're playing a party game but we can get you some food and drink," the Doctor said. "Thank you. I think I will do all three," Xashon said to him. "Happy Christmas, my friend." "And you," the Doctor said, giving her another hug. "Come with me, the food's in the kitchen," Rain said as Xashon walked away with her. While they were doing that, the Doctor walked back to the card pile. He glanced at Alan. "Christmas Rhumba at an end?" he asked him. "Heavens no, the rhumba never ends," Alan said. "Sit down, ya git," Rose said, jumping up, running around and pushing him back towards his seat while everyone laughed. The Doctor drew another number card. "Number three," he said. "Oh Lord," Wilf said while everyone laughed. The Doctor chuckled and picked up the card. He raised an eyebrow when he read what it said. "Oh, this oughta be interesting," the Doctor said. "What?" Wilf said. "Describe in excruciating detail the most wildest night you've ever had," the Doctor said. Everyone laughed when Wilf looked horrified at that. "Um…draw another card," Wilf said. "No, we wanna hear, tell us about your wildest night," John said. "No, because there are children and my daughter present. Draw another card," Wilf said. Everyone groaned when the Doctor put the card back under the pile and drew another one. "Sing a song, can you do that?" he asked Wilf. "If it means not having to tell you my wildest night, I'll do anything," Wilf said. "Blast, I wanna know about the wild Wilf night," Adam said. Wilf stood and thought for a moment. He began to sing It's a Long Way to Tipperary while everyone listened. While they were doing that, Xashon came out of the kitchen with Rain and both of them paused and listened with everyone else as Wilf sang. When he finished, everyone applauded and called for an encore. Wilf shook his head and sat back down. "You ever consider a singing career, Wilf?" the Doctor said to him. "Yeah, you're good," Duer said. "You shoulda told us you could sing. We coulda tried to get you on Pop Idol." "Did you know about this, Donna?" the Doctor said to her. Donna smiled and nodded. "Used to sing me to sleep at night when I was small," Donna said while Wilf gazed at her lovingly. "Always loved his voice." "Well, well, we have another singer in the family besides the Roses, learn something new every day," the Doctor said, drawing another card. "Um…number twenty eight." Cameron groaned. "No, thank you, I'll give this a miss," he said. "Nope, you have to play just like everyone else," the Doctor said, drawing a card. "Okay…you have to tell someone in the room that you really, really love them and give them a big, sloppy kiss." "Really?" Cameron said, raising his eyebrows. "Hmmm, okay, that's not so bad. Um…" He looked around at everyone and grinned when he wiggled his fingers and Faith levitated into the air and came over to him. She laughed when he seized her, gave her several sloppy kisses on the face and proclaimed her love for her while everyone laughed. When he let her go, Xashon looked at Rain. "This is a brilliant idea for a game," she said. "Oh yeah, we do this every year now, everyone loves it," Rain said to her. "Do you wanna play our brilliant game then?" the Doctor asked. "No, that's okay, I'll just watch," Xashon said quickly while everyone laughed. They played the game for another hour before the Doctor finally told everyone that they were going to stop for now to pass out presents. "Santa? Who wants to be Santa?" he called out while Hope and Faith bounced with excitement. "I shall have the honor, sir," Alan said, standing up and bowing. "Get over there, fat, ugly and old and give us our gifts!" Adam said to him. "Just for that, you'll have coal. Not just in your stocking, it'll be down your throat!" Alan said to him. "Yeah, yeah, I'm really scared, Naffzilla," Adam said while Alan walked over to the Christmas tree.
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