Chapter Five

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the Doctor spotted Clara chained to a stone bench in the middle of a semi circle of rainbow hedges. She did have on a pouffy blue party dress and it was so huge, she looked like she was swimming in it. The Doctor couldn't resist a chuckle as she rode towards her. It took a moment for Clara to notice him but when she did, she leapt to her feet and then gasped as the weight of the dress made her teeter and she quickly sat down before she fell down.

"You won't believe the day I've been having," the Doctor said when he finally reached the bench.

He sat there, waiting while Clara finished laughing at the ballerina outfit, the flower halo and the purple unicorn. When the laughter died down, the Doctor finally spoke.

"Are you alright? Have you been harmed in any way?" he said to her.

"No, but…looks like you've been harmed plenty, you poor thing," Clara said, bemused.

"Yes, yes, I'm dressed like a ballerina on LSD and riding a multicolored unicorn. Can we move on and get to the part about rescuing you and getting out of here?"

"Well, I would move but this is sort of heavy and I can't stand up properly," Clara said, pulling at the bottom of the dress. "Plus, I'm chained to the bench. You wouldn't happen to have the sonic inside your tutu, would ya?"

"No, I'm afraid the ballerina outfit came without pockets," the Doctor said as he dismounted. "Still, there's always a solution."

He bent over to examine the chain. The chain was locked with a large padlock in two places. The beginning of the chain was looped around a stone leg of the bench; the other end was around Clara's left ankle. He squatted down as he examined the padlock around Clara's ankle. While he was looking at it, he felt Clara's finger press down on the top of his head.

"You're so cute," Clara cooed at him as she pressed down on his head again.

"Do that again and the finger will be broken off and shoved up your nose, Oswald," the Doctor said without looking up.

"Aw, don't be that way," Clara said to him. "Your other self would have found all this funny."

"My other self thought fezzes were the height of fashion," the Doctor said as he stuck his finger in the padlock's keyhole. "And yes, the nutter would probably love all this but I'm not him anymore so let's move on and change the subject, shall we?"

"You have very hairy legs," Clara said.

"And you have very chubby ankles so I wouldn't say anything if I were you," the Doctor said.

The Doctor let go of the padlock and stood up. He thought for a moment while he looked around for something to open it. Then he looked at Sparkle Dancer who was still nearby, munching on some grass while her tail lazily swished back and forth.

"Come here a mo, Sparkle Dancer, I need your horn for something," the Doctor said as he walked over to her.

"You're not seriously suggesting that unicorn can pick the lock with its horn," Clara said as the Doctor urged Sparkle Dancer to come near her.

"No, I'm seriously suggesting that unicorns have magical powers. If this is a cute world, then the unicorn ought to have magic powers. Right, Sparkle Dancer?"

Sparkle Dancer whinnied.

"Can you open that lock around her ankle, my friend?"

Sparkle Dancer nickered and put her horn down next to the lock. There was a tiny burst of sparkles at the tip of it and the lock fell open with a huge THUNK.

"Thank you, Sparkle Dancer," the Doctor said, patting her back while Clara breathed a sigh of relief and took the chain off her ankle. "So, let's get out of here, shall we?"

"If I can get up from the bench, we can," Clara said.

The Doctor snickered when she tried to stand but the overly heavy dress kept weighing her down.

"Will you help me?" she finally said after one minute.

The Doctor smiled fondly and held out his hand to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. Then steadied her when she started falling forward.

"What's in this dress, lead weights?" Clara said as the Doctor held on to her.

"I think it's overloaded with sheer cuteness," the Doctor replied as he helped her walk over to Sparkle Dancer.

Very slowly, he helped Clara up onto Sparkle Dancer's back and then he had to find a way to keep her on since the dress was causing her to slide off.

"Could Sparkle Dancer conjure up a saddle by any chance?" Clara said as she held on to the back of the unicorn's mane.

"If you want, you can strip off all your clothes and have my tutu," the Doctor said.

Clara glanced at him and a new fit of giggles erupted from her mouth.

"Shouldn't have said that," the Doctor muttered as Clara reaching over and patted his head.


Very slowly the Doctor guided Sparkle Dancer back towards the front entrance, hoping that the front entrance was still there. Clara held on for dear life as the movement of the horse made her teeter a bit and the Doctor had to help keep her steady as they went along. The Doctor also noticed that the Sun seemed to be following them but the Sun wasn't commenting on any thing, just providing some companionship and the Doctor wished that he could take his friend with him when he left.

When they reached the forest, the Doctor expected everything to come out of the woodwork and bother them again but to his surprise, there was nothing but the garish rainbow colors of the trees. Clara made a face at that.

"I was teleported to the bench, didn't see all this. Ugh, this is hard on the eyes."

"On the other hand, if someone wants to hold a gay pride day, this would be the perfect location for it," the Doctor replied.

The Doctor looked around as they walked.

"Where are the smurfs and the unicorns and the irritating birds, this doesn't bode well, I fear," he said.

"Wait, there were smurfs here?" Clara said.

"Yeah, on both sides of the path but they're not here now," the Doctor said, looking around. "And there's no birdsong and before that, it was deafening. I have a feeling we might be in for a shocking surprise before we escape."

Suddenly, there was a huge boom and the ground shook. Clara gasped and slid off Sparkle Dancer and landed on her butt on the ground as another boom shook the ground.

"Okay, I have a feeling that my theory is about to be proven correct," the Doctor said as another boom shook the forest.

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