THE DOCTOR GETS SMART
Crossover of "Doctor Who" and "Get Smart"
Chapter One It is a beautiful fall morning in Washington D.C. People are rushing to and fro hurrying to jobs, appointments, recreation or just hurrying home to relax. People who are so preoccupied with their destinations that they don’t notice a blue police box materializing in a darkened alley nor do they take any notice of the man and woman emerging from it and looking around. Nope, the busy citizens of Washington D.C. just go about their business unaware that an alien has just invaded their fair city. Rose folded her arms over her chest. “Gee, it’s uncanny how much Venus looks like Earth.” She said, looking around. “I thought we were going to go to this Venusian New Year’s Eve party you keep raving on about.” “We are.” The Doctor replied. “Uh-huh, well, like I said, Venus looks a whole lot like Earth.” “Well…I…uh thought we would stop here on the way to Venus to…have a bite to eat.” He said, pointing to a café across the street. “Yeah, right, you just don’t want to admit you made a mistake again.” “I don’t make mistakes, Rose.” The Doctor replied. “Everything I do has a purpose. Even when it looks like I make a mistake, I don’t. I meant to come to this exact street at this exact time so we could go to that café and eat.” “Yeah, sure Doctor, pull the other one!” Rose said rolling her eyes. “Can you read my mind?” “No.” “Well, then, you don’t know what I’m thinking do you?” “No, and frankly I’m glad because I’m sure a lot of your thoughts would scare me senseless.” “Well, if you don’t know what I’m thinking then how do you know I didn’t plan to come here before we went on to Venus?” Rose sighed. “Okay, whatever, I’m not gonna argue with ya. I’d rather go eat and then go on to Venus.” “Fantastic. You wait here and I’ll go get some money for the café.” Rose raised her eyebrow. “Gee, Doctor, if you planned all this, then why didn’t you already have the money on you when you came out the door?” The Doctor ignored her and hurried back inside as Rose sighed and leaned up against the TARDIS. As she watched the people hurrying by, she noticed a newspaper vending machine across the street. Hurrying over, she bent down and examined it. “Washington Post, September 24th, 1969.” She muttered to herself. She walked back over just as the Doctor was emerging from the TARDIS. “The newspaper over there says Washington Post, September 24th, 1969.” She repeated as the Doctor locked the door. “Yup, you see, Washington D.C., 1969. Exactly as planned.” He replied, turning around. Rose rolled her eyes and followed the Doctor as he strode out of the alleyway and headed towards the café. The Doctor opened the café door for Rose and ushered her through. The scent of cooked food wafted through the air making Rose hungry as she and the Doctor walked over to a table next to the front window. As they walked to their table, they passed the table next to it and glanced down at an attractive woman sitting by herself studying the menu. She smiled at them briefly before turning her attention back to the menu. The Doctor settled down in the chair closest to the other table and Rose took the seat across from him. “Order anything you like. My treat.” He told her. Rose nodded. Both of them grabbed the menus and began looking at the choices. As they studied the menus, the Doctor heard the chair behind him sliding out and felt someone sit down behind him. “Max! Oh, hello, love!” he heard the woman say. He heard them kiss and then heard the man behind him sit back down and pull his seat up towards the table. The Doctor slid his seat up further to allow the man some room and then went back to perusing the menu. “You won’t believe this!” Max said, leaning forward. “What is it, Max?” “Siegfried is up to something again.” 99 groaned. “And I suppose the Chief wants us to find out what it is.” She said. “Oh I already know what his plan is. Siegfried is planning to capture an alien and use his technology to conquer the world.” The Doctor’s ears perked up at that. He leaned back and titled his head slightly as he listened in. “Oh Max, that’s ridiculous. Aliens don’t exist.” The Doctor raised his eyebrow and grinned at Rose who was now listening with him. “They do too exist, 99. Aliens are as real as you or me.” The Doctor frowned. “The woman’s name is 99?” he mouthed to Rose. Rose shrugged. “Your name is the Doctor.” She mouthed back. “Good point.” He mouthed back to her. “Well, even if they are real, Max. How is Siegfried going to capture one?” “I don’t know, 99. That’s why the chief is sending us out on surveillance. Who knows what KAOS has up their sleeve?” “KAOS?” the Doctor mouthed to Rose. Rose shrugged. The Doctor and Rose looked up as the waitress approached their table. “What can I get for you?” she asked, as she pulled a pad and pen out of her apron. “Um…I’ll have a cheeseburger with everything on it and…um…French fries.” The Doctor said anxious to get back to the conversation behind him. “And to drink?” “Um, Coke will be fine, thanks.” The waitress looked at Rose. “I’ll have the same.” She said. The waitress nodded as she wrote down their order. Then, flipping the page over, she headed towards Max and 99’s table. “What can I get you?” she asked Max and 99. “I’ll have a Caesar Salad and an iced tea.” 99 said. “Um…I’ll have a cheeseburger, hold the mayo and fries and a Coke.” Max said. The Doctor glanced around as the waitress wrote down their order, stuffed the pad and pen back into her apron and walked off. “Good,” the Doctor muttered under his breath. “Now get back to your conversation.” “So did intelligence find out where Siegfried’s headquarters is?” 99 asked. “Yup, I got the directions from Larrabee after I got up off of him.” Max replied. “Got up off of him?” 99 said, confused. “I…uh…kinda tripped over him coming out of the Chief’s office.” Max said sheepishly. “Aw, Max, love; you need to be more careful.” 99 admonished him. “I know 99, but I can’t help it if Larrabee was behind me when I came out. You know how he is. They need to put a bell on him or something so you can tell where he is at all times.” “Well, I wish they would put Larrabee on this assignment instead of us.” 99 complained. “I mean, I just gave birth a month ago and the maternity leave the Chief gave me wasn’t nearly long enough. I wanted to spend more time with Zack and Maxine before I went back to work.” “I know, 99, but you know the forces of evil and badness can’t wait for you to get through bonding with the twins.” “Forces of evil and badness?” the Doctor mouthed to Rose as she clamped her hand over her mouth. The Doctor and Rose looked over as the waitress brought over a tray filled with their food and Max and 99’s food and set it down on a nearby table. They smiled at her as she sat their food in front of them. “I think this is a waste of time, Max.” they heard 99 say. “I still don’t think aliens exist.” There was a pause as the waitress gave Max and 99 their food. They waited until she was gone before they resumed their conversation. “99, for the last time, aliens are real.” Max said, as he picked up the shaker of salt. “Haven’t you ever seen the movies? Aliens could be among us right now! Why, they could be in this very restaurant!” As Max waved his hands for emphasis, the salt shaker slipped out of his hand and flew backwards. 99 sighed and put her head in her hand as they heard the man behind him yell out in pain. Max turned to see the man behind him rubbing the back of his head and glaring at him while the woman across from him giggled hysterically. “Um…sorry about that, fella.” He said sheepishly. He quickly turned back around as the man grumbled curses at him. “Anyway, as I was saying, 99; aliens could be among us in this very room. It could be the cook, the waitress; it could even be the fella behind me, for all we know.” 99 frowned. She thought she saw the man sitting behind Max stiffen for a moment. She stared at him and then shrugged. It was probably just her imagination. She turned her attention back to her husband as he eagerly devoured his hamburger. “So I suppose we have to start this surveillance as soon as possible.” She said to him. “Right after we eat.” Max replied through a mouthful of hamburger. “The location is not too far from here actually. Only a couple of blocks.” The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other. “Follow them?” Rose mouthed to the Doctor. The Doctor nodded. A silence fell on the two tables as both couples hurriedly ate their food.
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