THE DOCTOR'S TRIPLE TROUBLE
Chapter Twenty Six Rose was stunned into silence as she stared at the kimono. After several seconds, she found her voice again. "He's…gonna marry us?" Rose said. "Or he's going somewhere where we can get married," the Doctor said. "And the robe is what you'd wear during the wedding?" Rose said, pointing to it. "Yeah. It's not specifically a wedding robe but it's for formal occasions like that." "But…why is he doing this?" Rose said. "Shits and giggles probably. He was taunting us about not being married so I s'pose this is something for his amusement," the Doctor said. Rose fell silent again as she stared at the kimono. She had often dreamed about marrying the Doctor but had never discussed it with him because she figured he'd see it as being too domestic so she had no idea what his feelings were about it. While she stared at the kimono, the Alternate Doctor came into the room carrying a silver chalice. The chalice had the seal of Rassilon engraved on it along with several gems that were set into the cup in a circle. "And that's the wedding goblet," the Doctor said as he sat it down on top of the kimono. "Quite so," the Alternate Doctor said, turning to them. "Can you figure out what I'm planning for you?" "I think we figured out the what, it's the why I'm curious about, however," the Doctor said. "The answer to that is because I'm a sentimental slob," the Alternate Doctor said, coming close to the force field. "See, I figure it's time for you two crazy kids to have a wedding. I mean, look at you, living in sin like a pair of…sinners. For shame, loving her without putting a ring on her finger. You'll burn in Hell for that one." "If Hell exists, I have a feeling you'll be going to it before I do," the Doctor said to him. The Alternate Doctor ignored him and turned back to the items on the chair. He picked up the chalice and turned it so the light would catch on the gems. "Exquisite, isn't it? I purchased it a few centuries ago along with the wedding kimono when I was engaged to be married. The wedding fell through after I purchased these so I kept them figuring I would sell them. Never got around to doing it which is quite fortunate for you, eh?" "What's your game then?" Rose said. "I'm sorry?" the Alternate Doctor said with a frown. "What's your ulterior motive for doing this?" the Doctor said. "Because it's not out of the goodness of your hearts, that's for bloody sure." "Oh, look, I forgot the sash that comes with the kimono, how forgetful of me. Be right back, my little lovebirds!" He quickly left the room before they could say anything else to him. "He's up to something, Rose. This isn't just for his amusement. There's a sinister motive behind it or I'm a monkey's uncle," the Doctor said. He noticed Rose had fallen silent and was staring at the kimono. He put his arms back around her and gently stepped up so she was against him. "Penny for your thoughts?" he said to her. "Do you want this to happen?" Rose said softly as she gestured at the items. The Doctor thought about that. "Would it matter if it didn't?" he said. "We love one another; do we need to be married to prove that?" "No but…dunno, sometimes I thought about it," Rose said. "Were you going to get married like he was?" "I was married once," the Doctor said after a moment of silence. "Had a child, a little boy." Rose frowned, her brow furrowed in thought. "That day when we helped Chloe, we were talking and…" "I told you I was a dad once and you asked me to repeat it and I didn't because at the time I didn't mean to let that slip." "That's what I thought you said but then I thought I must have heard wrong because all that talk of being anti-domestic." "I wasn't always anti-domestic. I became so after I began traveling," he said. "What happened to your wife and child after you left?" The Doctor didn't say anything and Rose sensed his reluctance so she didn't press the issue, figuring they were straying into unpleasant territory for him. She gazed at the kimono, admiring its beauty. Then a moment later, she was a bit surprised to hear the Doctor speak. "The Master killed them," he said quietly, "to get revenge on me when I tried to stop him after he first started committing his evil acts." "I'm sorry," Rose said, her heart aching for him. "I'm sorry if I brought up a painful subject. You don't have to say anything else, yeah?" The Doctor fell silent again and Rose leaned back into him and rubbed his arm, enjoying the fact that she could move her limbs again. But after another moment, he spoke again. "I ran to get away from Gallifrey because I couldn't stand to be there any longer after what happened to my family," he said while Rose listened. "But after a bit, I started craving companionship and I met adopted an Earth girl named Susan. She was very young so I thought of her as my granddaughter. She traveled with me along with a couple of her teachers until I made her leave so she could have a life and get married and raise a family. After that, it was one companion after another but I never let myself get too close because of what happened to my family. I thought of them as friends and nothing more." Rose was shocked that the Doctor was actually admitting all this and pouring her heart out to her and she dared not speak because she was afraid he'd stop what he was saying. Then he felt his arms tighten around her. "That scheme worked until you came along," he said softly. "You were different, Rose. I couldn't help falling in love with you because you remind me so much of my wife." Rose felt her eyes mist over and she squeezed his arm. "You have her personality, her kind-heartedness, her sense of humor, you even resemble her somewhat," he said. "That's why when you said no to me when I asked you to come with me, I had to come back for you after I left. I wanted you to come with me so badly, Rose, that I broke my own rule of not badgering people to come with me if they've told me no. And then you helped me heal from all the trauma of the Time War and that made me love you even more. " A tear fell down Rose's cheek and she sniffed as the Doctor rested his head against hers. "What was her name?" she said softly. "Lila." "That's beautiful," Rose said. "Yes, she was a beautiful woman, inside and out, just like you are." "But you don't like weddings because of what happened to her?" Rose said. "I'm not against marriage. I just never thought about it," the Doctor said with a shrug. "I figured what we had was enough. Besides, we were always busy running around, when would we ever find the time to get married? But…apparently, we are now finding the time if my double has his way. But even if this is his way of taunting us, I want you to know that you are like a wife to me in my hearts and that'll never change." Rose felt like her heart was about to burst from joy as the Doctor squeezed her. She was about to tell him that she loved him when the Alternate Doctor strolled back into the room, gold sash in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. "Sorry, took awhile to find the matching sash in the attic and I was parched, needed a cuppa," he said to them. He noticed Rose's tear streaked face as he sat his cup down on the floor. "What's this? Sadness? Come on, you're getting married," he said to her. "Be happy for a change, Rose. I'm tired of this maudlin behavior. Now…" he added, gathering up the kimono. "Try this on while you're in there. Gotta see if it fits. As for the robe, I know that'll fit you," he added to the Doctor as the TARDIS opened up a gap in the force field and he passed the kimono to Rose. The Doctor let go of Rose when she took the kimono and sash. The Alternate Doctor stepped back and the hole in the force field closed up as he reached down for his cup. Rose stared at the kimono as she felt it. It was made of silk and cool to the touch. "It's gorgeous," Rose murmured, wondering if Lila had worn something similar on her wedding day. The Doctor took the sash and Rose held up the kimono for a moment, admiring it before she slipped it on. The Doctor directed her to fold the left side under the right side and then he slipped the sash around her, winding it around her body twice before tying it in a small bow in the back. When he was finished, Rose put her hand on her stomach, touching the silk while she admired it. "Not bad, you look very beautiful in it," the Alternate Doctor said. "Yes, you do," the Doctor said. "Nice to know we're on the same page then. I'm taking you to an old friend of mine. He's a smuggler but before he did that, he was a minister. He'll perform the wedding." "Why are you doing this…really?" the Doctor said. "You're not being a soppy, sentimental man, you're being cold and cruel and calculating and this is a method of torturing us. So tell us the truth about why you're doing this." The Alternate Doctor took a sip of tea and smacked his lips. "Delish," he said. "It's a special blend from Peking in the twelfth century. Want some?" "Answer the question," the Doctor said, nearly at the end of his patience. "Oh, if I must," the Alternate Doctor said with a theatrical sigh. "Fine. Yes, there's more to this than you crazy kids living in sin. I want your children to be legitimate. Nothing sucks more than a bastard Time Lord running around." "The only bastard running around is you," the Doctor said. "Oho, very witty, indeed. I have been felled by your witty retort and now…more tea." He sniggered at the annoyed looks on his captive's faces as he took a sip of tea. "Oh come now, play along and have fun. Don't you want kids?" "I'm sterile," the Doctor said. "As was every other Gallifreyan." Rose was shocked when she heard that. She didn't dare say anything the Doctor told her in front of his double but she wondered where his son came from if they couldn't conceive. Did he and Lila adopt him? She made a mental note to ask later when they were alone. "Okay, so how did you keep your population up if no one could have children?" the Alternate Doctor said. "You don't know?" the Doctor said. "I'm not sterile, sunshine. Another example of how I'm better than you. So, tell me, how did you have children on your Gallifrey?" "We had machines called looms that made children when two parties donated their DNA." "Sounds boring. I prefer sex. By the way…if I'm not sterile, perhaps we need to check the future misses because I might have left a bun in her oven." "I plan to check her to make sure she doesn't have a weird venereal disease you contracted from the ninety nine million partners you've had before her." Rose couldn't help but laugh at that and she shrugged her shoulders and gave him a smug look when she saw the annoyance on the Alternate Doctor's face. "I don't have any diseases, thank you very much," the Alternate Doctor replied. "Unlike you, who probably gave this poor woman cooties, mange and rocky mounted spotted fever all in one go. Maybe we need to hose you down after the marriage so you don't give her mad cow disease next. But…I digress…my reasons for you marrying her. Well, another reason is because if you marry her, ergo, I marry her so Rose will have two husbands. It'll be like sharing the wealth. Everyone wins!" "You marry me to her and you're not putting one finger on her ever again!" the Doctor snarled at him. "So…if I don't marry you, I can play roaming fingers with Rose all I want then?" the Alternate Doctor said, scratching his head in mock confusion. "Sounds like an odd thing to say but I never refused a three way yet." "Of that, I have no doubt," the Doctor said dryly. "But…the marriage will proceed as planned," the Alternate Doctor said after another sip of tea. "And as for not touching your wife…well, you won't be able to do much from beyond the grave, won't you?" "And finally, the true reason comes to light," the Doctor said. "I knew this was some sadistic elaborate scheme to go along with my execution." "Well, Rose will be in mourning and will need her second husband to comfort her. Particularly since she's the one that'll be doing the executing." Rose paled at that and the Doctor put his arms around her when he noticed her staggering back. "Yeah, see, I was telling Rose about this Japanese execution method called Death by a Thousand Cuts. Have you heard of it, Doctor?" "No, don't make me do that to him," Rose said, shaking her head. "Yes, I've heard of it," the Doctor said, his anger rising. "And I've seen it done before." "I've done it myself, shame you haven't. It's fascinating. I used to work on criminals and after each execution; I always tried to see if I could go a bit farther and keep the bastard alive a bit longer than the last time. I got to where the man was basically a torso and a head before he died. Well…half a torso, to be precise. I was going to threaten Rose with that particular method of execution but hey, I told her I'd train her to be an assassin and now she has a practice dummy she can work on, emphasis on the dummy part, of course." "Don't make me do that to him, I'm begging you," Rose said, her heart sinking. "Now, now, Rose, you'll have a spare husband after you wed. It'll just be like disposing of an inferior model and concentrating on the top brand, which is me. The Doctor's probably been through far more than that in his life. Probably had several gruesome deaths before he regenerated, eh? He won't say a word, during it, trust me. Speaking of…I need to get your mourning robe ready since you won't be married to him long. Be prepared, that's my motto. We'll be landing soon so have fun in your last moments as single people before you're joined as one. I'm so happy for you crazy kids. Wedding bells are ringing! Toodles!" He hurried out of the room, giggling insanely when the Doctor screamed curses at his back.
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