THE NEW MEMBERS OF THE IWC

Author's Note: I was re-watching the series five finale of Doctor Who today when inspiration just struck. So finally, as so many people have requested, I have written a sequel to The Immortal Wives' Club!

Lucy (AKA Mrs Master) was very surprised when one day while waiting for her usual meeting with Rose (AKA Mrs Doctor) and Donna (AKA Mrs Captain Jack Harkness) there was suddenly two new women who appeared outside of the TARDIS with them. One of them was a light coffee coloured woman with lots of curls and a gun strapped to her side and the other was a young redheaded girl who could have passed as Donna's little sister.

"I'm sorry but who are you two?" Lucy asked.

"Ah Lucy, this is Professor River Song and her mother Amy Pond," Rose introduced the two women to her, "River, Amy, this is Lucy she's married to the Master."

"Her mother?" Lucy cried out looking at Amy in shock. If anything River would have been able to pass has having Amy in her teenage years not the other way round.

"It's complicated," Amy shrugged.

"Complicated is an understatement," Donna grumbled.

"The Master?" River questioned. "That psychotic villainous mastermind that has tried to take over the world, tried to destroy the universe, attempted to kill the Doctor, and is generally just a git?"

"That's my darling husband," Lucy sighed.

"He's hot," River said cheerfully.

"He is and very good in the bedroom, would you like a cup of tea?" Lucy said cheerfully. "I'm surprised to meet you. Rose and Donna have never brought one of the Doctor's other companions to tea before."

"We tried to invite Martha but that didn't go down so well considering your husband kidnapped her family," Donna explained.

"His not so charming qualities do have a habit of driving some potential friends away," Lucy agreed sadly as she poured out the tea.

"The Doctor is exactly the same only it's more of the male kind that we seem to lack," Rose said rolling her eyes. "He can't keep calling them pretty boys anymore considering his new look."

"He does suit pretty though that bow tie," River chimed in.

"Also we want to make Amy and River part of our little club," Donna said as she happily took the expensive tea cake made by one of the finest chief's the Master kidnapped this time. "They also married idiotic heroic or villainous immortals who are nothing but whiney little boys."

"Though Dad might actually have cause for his whinging," River said raising an eyebrow at her mother.

"It's the Doctor! Name one female companion he had that didn't fancy him just a little bit!" Amy shouted defensively.

"My mother...wait, no, she hitted on him when she first met him," Rose mumbled, she then sighed and turned to River, "she has a point."

"Our husband is just too good looking and flirtatious for his own good," River agreed solemnly.

"Our husband?" Lucy questioned.

"Oh yes, River is well...I suppose my partner is the best word for it," Rose bit her lip for a moment, "The Doctor married her but I think we work well just us two gals, you know?"

"Oh please, it's all about you two," Donna snorted, "You might share the Doctor between you. Literally sometimes, the walls in the TARDIS aren't that thick-"

"We know," Rose, River, and Amy groaned having heard Donna and Jake thousands of times.

"But when it comes down to it, it has always been you two against him," Donna continued on as if they hadn't spoken. She turned to Lucy, "Whenever the Doctor fights with one of these two the other always sides with the female. Usually we join in as well but considering all the lying and withholding information and then making out like we're total morons I think he deserves some of it. Sometimes I catch River and Rose at it without the Doctor," Donna shuddered, "I'm not sure what's worse."

"At least none of them are your daughter," Amy pointed out still unable to get over the weirdness of that one.

"Well the Doctor can't have all the fun, can he love?" River said wrapping an arm round Rose.

"What fun? This version of him he's a bit too squeamish on the kinkier sides of things, not like you sweetie," Rose grinned at her partner in crime.

"Urgh," the two redheads groaned in unison.

Lucy felt rather uncomfortable. While she was not against homosexuality she had never really met an openly gay couple before and it unnerved her when they talked about their bedroom lives, Despite how many times she talked about her times in the bedroom with Harry, changing the topic quickly she turned to Amy.

"So what is your husband? Another secret Time Lord or something like Jack?" she asked.

"We're really not sure," Amy shrugged, "he died a couple times, got turned to plastic ones and lived for two thousand years, and yet he still looks the same age as he did when we got married. He talks like the Doctor and Jack though, all about this time period and this time period and oh how back in blah blah blah they never would have done that."

"Oh Harry does that all the time. I once had to sit through a rant about how there's no such thing as a good vintage of wine unlike at this planet or the other. The last time I suggest to go to a vineyard for our holiday," Lucy rolled her eyes, "He's taking to role playing now. Something he discovered on the internet, tell me does yours like to dress up as a fictional character and force you into some sort of filthy Fanfiction?"

"No but he does dress up as a Centurion..."

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

Meanwhile outside Rory wondered for the fifth time this afternoon if he was the only normal one in his social group. The Master tried to take over the world (again apparently) and the Doctor stopped him, Jack died three times, and now they were drinking while moaning how their wives did nothing but talk.

"Why did I get married again?" the Doctor sobbed into the Master's shoulder.

"Because if you didn't make my daughter an honest woman I would have used my sword," Rory reminded him.

"Kinky," Jack muttered.

"You're disgusting," the Master informed Jack before turning back to the Doctor, "and you're an idiot, why did you get a second wife without killing the first? You've got double the nagging now,"

"In all fairness he's getting double the sex, neither can keep their hands off of him," Jack said taking a swig of his bottle of vodka. "He's a lucky git. I can barely get Donna to agree to anything these days and she'll flay me alive if I so much look at another person in the wrong way."

"Doesn't stop you from trying to get into my pants," Rory said dryly.

"Or mine."

"Or mine."

"Or our wives," Rory concluded.

Jack paused for a moment and then grinned flirtatiously before he purred in his perfect American drawl he usually uses when flirting, "Let's have our own little party just the four of us."

"I'm going to take over the world again," The Master said quickly before legging it out of the room.

"Wait! Let me help you- err I mean stop you!" the Doctor cried out running after him.

Jack leered at Rory, "just the two of us and your sword."

"Erm...ah...I...I think I'll check on our wives!" Rory blurted out before running away.

He instantly regretted doing so because the moment he entered the room his wife, daughter, and friends were having tea in it went deadly silent. "Err...hi girls, what are you talking about?" he asked nervously. Suddenly Amy snorted and Rose began to giggle before Lucy, River, and Donna suddenly joined in. "What's so funny?" he asked feeling a growing sense of dread at the pit of his stomach.

They just laughed even louder.

He waited a few more moments trying to work out what's so funny but that only made them hysterical.

For his wife and daughter's health (they looked like they were about to choke on their own spit or something) Rory decided to shut the door.

Once the door was firmly shut he let out a great big shudder.

He knew he should have listened to the Doctor when he warned him not to let his wife join this strange tea party.

The Immortal Wives Club was indeed evil.

He wasn't even immortal for Christ's sake!

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