THE SCAVENGER HUNT

Chapter Six

“Hmmm, where to next?” Donna muttered as she walked down the corridor.

She was so absorbed in studying her list that she almost failed to see the little sign mounted beside one of the doors. She stopped short, backed up and read it.

THE I LIKE A LITTLE SHOP SHOP.

Donna rolled her eyes.

“Figures the TARDIS would have a little shop on it somewhere,” she muttered.

She opened the door and stepped inside. She was surprised to see a young man with sandy blonde hair standing behind the counter.

“Welcome to The I Like A Little Shop Shop, Miss Noble,” he said.

“Who are you?”

“I am android seventeen. I run the shop.”

“Okay, had no idea he even had androids on this ship, but okay, I’ll play along,” Donna muttered.

She walked over to him and handed him the clipboard.

“Please tell me you have any of these items or know where I can find them?” she said, hopefully.

The android studied the list and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Miss Noble. There is nothing in here that’s on this list and I can’t help you find anything since I’m only programmed to manage the shop.”

“Wonderful.”

“But, you are welcome to look around and see if there’s anything you like. All items are free for the Doctor’s companions.”

Donna gave him a wry look.

“Oh, so you mean I can just cart off everything and take it back to my room then?”

“You could, but then we would have to set up the shop in your room.”

“Oh, well, never mind then.”

She laid the clipboard on the counter and turned to look at the shop. To her surprise, there was a wide variety of Doctor and TARDIS related merchandise. Intrigued, she walked over to a display on the right side of the room. There were several bumper stickers in a metal rack. She looked at the top bumper sticker. It said…

LIFE’S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE AND REGENERATE AND DIE AND REGENERATE AND DIE AND REGENERATE.

Donna rolled her eyes. She looked at the next one.

MY OTHER TARDIS IS A POLICE BOX.

She looked at the next one. It said…

HOW AM I FLYING? DIAL 0808-TIME LORD.

Donna shook her head and moved on to the t-shirts next to them. She took a look at the first one.

I TRAVELED THROUGH TIME AND SPACE WITH THE DOCTOR AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT!

“Yeah, how very original,” she said, rolling her eyes.

She looked at the next one.

TENTH DOCTOR RULES, ALL OTHER SELVES DROOL.

Donna snorted and moved to the next one. It was a picture of a Greek goddess statue’s head with a photo of Rose beside it. The caption underneath read…

FORTUNA IN THE FLESH.

“Okay, have no idea what that means. I suppose Rose would know though,” she said, looking at the next one. She raised her eyebrow when she saw it. It was a picture of the Doctor from the neck up. He had bulging eyes and was making a fish face. The caption underneath read…

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO TRAVEL WITH ME?

Donna laughed at that one.

“Okay, I gotta have this one,” she said.

She looked through the different sizes and finally found a purple one that would fit her. Grinning, she walked over to the counter.

“Um, I’m on a scavenger hunt at the moment. Can I leave this here and come get it when I’m done?”

“You can, or the TARDIS can simply teleport it back to your room.”

“Oh, she can? Oh, okay, have her do that then.”

“As you wish, Donna Noble. Is this all you want?”

Donna looked around.

“No, hold on. Let me look a bit more.”

“Take your time.”

Donna walked back over to the wall. Beside the t-shirts was a huge lighted display case. There were several porcelain statues inside. Donna looked at them. The first statue showed the Doctor with his left leg bent back ready to kick a Dalek in the bum. The second one showed the Doctor standing on a fallen Cyberman raising his arms in triumph while he yelled. The third one was the TARDIS with the Doctor and Rose peeking outside the door and pointing out at something while they both yelled. The fourth one took her by surprise. It was the Doctor and Rose holding each other and snogging while a Dalek and Cyberman stood on either side of them exchanging fire. Donna looked at the android.

“What are these?”

“Those are limited edition figurines that the Doctor came up with. The whole series is called The Doctor and His Adventures. These figurines are part of series one.”

“Really? Okay, who in the world would want them since nobody is in here except the Doctor and his companions.”

The android shrugged.

“The Doctor was in charge of the merchandise for this shop and that was one of the ideas he came up with. Each figurine was lovingly handcrafted by the TARDIS and was personally named by the Doctor.”

“Oh really, okay what’s the name of this one?” Donna asked, pointing to the Doctor kicking the Dalek.

“That one is entitled, Get The Hell Out Of My Way, You Poor Excuse For A Rubbish Bin.”

Donna laughed.

“Okay, what’s the name of this one?” she said, pointing to the Doctor on top of the Cyberman.

“That one is entitled, Woo-hoo, I Am The Man! The one next to it is, Oh My God, It’s A Monster and the one you were just looking at is entitled, We Only Have A Few Seconds Left To Live, My Darling, Let’s Make It Count!”

“Oh, please,” Donna said, rolling her eyes.

She looked at the next one. The Doctor was bouncing on a tiny trampoline with a gleeful look on his face. When she looked closer, she noticed the tan colored trampoline had eyes and a mouth. She looked at the android who smiled.

“That one is entitled, Other Uses For Cassandra,” he said.

“Who?” Donna said.

She shook her head.

“Never mind, I’m afraid to find out the answer,” she said, waving her hand.

She looked at the next one. It was Martha and the Doctor. The Doctor had taken his tie off and was holding it out to her. Donna looked at the android.

“That one is entitled, Like So, You See?”

“Okay, I think I’m done with the figurine section. I’ll move on to something else,” she said, walking away.

She walked over to the other side of the room. Several shelves held assorted plushies of the Doctor and various monsters. Donna picked up a stuffed Dalek, gave it a squeeze and put it back. Next to it was a stuffed elephant with a tiny Doctor riding on its back. A little sticker on the side of it said, squeeze me. Donna squeezed it and heard the Doctor say in a small, tinny voice…

“Onward, Jumbo, towards adventure!”

This was followed by the elephant trumpeting loudly. Donna giggled and put it back.

She looked at the rest of the plushies. There were different sizes of the Doctor, each one wearing a huge smile on its face. There was a Cyberman, a Judoon, plushies of Rose and Martha and to her delight, little stuffed Adipose. She looked through all of them and frowned.

“Hey,” she said, looking back at the android. “How come there’s stuffed Roses and Marthas, but none of me?”

“We’re still working on items that feature you,” the android explained. “You’re relatively new, so the Doctor still has to come up with ideas for products. However, he has come up with one item; it’s over here in the poster section if you want to take a look at it.”

Donna walked over to the poster display beside the door. She paused and her mouth dropped open when she saw what the android was pointing at. Mounted on the wall was a copy of Edvard Munch’s The Scream. The only difference between it and the original painting was there was a distorted image of herself in place of the screaming man.

“Oh, I am gonna kill him when I see him!” she snarled.

She took a deep breath.

“I’ll kill him later, for now I’ll just relax and continue with the scavenger hunt.”

She turned to go, but one of the posters caught her eye. She walked over, lifted it out of the rack and turned it to one side. The picture was painted to look like an Egyptian tomb painting with Rose and the Doctor in stylized Egyptian poses. Rose was kneeling in front of someone sitting on a throne. She was holding her hands up to him with a beseeching look on her face while the man laughed. Behind her stood the Doctor facing an army of Egyptian archers and spear wielding men riding in chariots. His right arm was behind him and his left arm was extended out towards the army. He was pointing his sonic screwdriver at them with a determined look on his face. Donna looked at the android.

“Very imaginative,” she said.

“Oh, that was actually a real event. The Doctor took things that happened from his adventures and had them made into posters. That one there was an early adventure with him and Rose. They went to ancient Egypt and were captured by the pharaoh’s adviser. He had been possessed by an alien who was trying to kill the pharaoh and take over his throne, so he could rule the world. The advisor held Rose captive while he commanded the Pharaoh’s army to kill the Doctor.”

Donna looked back at the poster.

“I like it,” she said. “I like how it looks like something you would find on a tomb wall.”

“The Doctor thought it would be a unique and fun way of depicting the event.”

Donna nodded. She put the poster back, pulled out another one and turned it on its side. This one was an underwater scene. Rose was a mermaid with a beautiful teal colored fish body. She had a huge metal collar around her neck that was chained on either side to two posts. She was watching with a worried expression on her face while two mermen swam up towards the Doctor with long silver tridents in their hands. The Doctor had on scuba gear and was swimming towards them with the same determined expression he had in the last picture. Donna looked at the android.

“Rose was a mermaid at some point?”

“Yes, they went to Aqualania, a water planet, and were doing some underwater exploring when the emperor of the merpeople saw Rose, fell in love with her and kidnapped her. He changed her into a mermaid before the Doctor could reach her, but he managed to defeat the emperor and change her back.

“Wow, she’s never said anything about this,” Donna said.

She put it back and picked up the next one. She turned it on its side and raised her eyebrow. The Doctor was running for his life while yellow goo flew off him. Even more astonishing, he was being pursued by something that looked like a mix of Martha and a mouse. The Martha/mouse creature was roaring at him and trying to catch him with her huge clawed hands. Donna showed it to the android.

“This is not Martha, is it?” she said.

“Yes, it is.”

“Martha was turned into a big bleedin’ mouse?”

“Actually, I think she was a rat, but yes, she was turned into a rat and they poured cheddar cheese sauce on the Doctor and threw him into an arena, in the hope that she would kill him.”

Donna stared at him.

“Okay, so Rose has been a fish, Martha’s been a rat, what am I gonna be, a dog?” she said, putting it back.

She pulled out the next one and stared at it, awestruck. The Doctor and Rose were in a dark dungeon somewhere. The moon was visible beyond the barred window and its light flooded into the room, illuminating the pair. Rose was lying on the floor, asleep or unconscious, with bruises and cuts all over her face and body. The Doctor knelt over her with a look of silent suffering that Donna knew all too well. She stared at it silently, admiring its simple beauty. She showed it to the android.

“When did this happen?”

“Actually, I think that’s one of the few pictures that’s not based on an actual event, although I’m sure something like it has happened to them at some point. The Doctor came up with the idea and called it, Here At Last.”

“It’s beautiful,” Donna said, staring at it.

She had a thought and looked at the android.

“Has Rose ever been in here? Does she know about these posters?”

“I’ve never seen Miss Tyler in here and I have no idea if the Doctor’s ever told her about them.”

“I have to get these for Rose, then,” she said, grabbed the Egyptian and mermaid one. “I know she’ll love them all, especially this dungeon one.”

She took them up to the counter.

“I believe that’s it, then. I’ve wasted enough time shopping.”

“And you would like all these sent to your room, Miss Noble?”

“Yeah….wait, not the t-shirt. I wanna wear that just in case I run into alien boy. But, yeah, please send the posters to my room.”

“If you wish to change into the t-shirt, we have a small changing room behind the counter and I can send the shirt you’re wearing back to your room along with the posters.”

“Great, I’ll do that.”

Donna grabbed the t-shirt, went behind the counter to the changing room and changed shirts. She then gave her shirt to the android, grabbed the clipboard and with a wave, left the shop.

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