THE SCAVENGER HUNT

Chapter Sixteen

Martha sighed when she turned and entered another corridor.

“Blimey, how far back does this ship actually go?” she muttered to herself. “Is it gonna take us years to finish this scavenger hunt?”

She paused by a door and opened it. She frowned when she noticed several fur coats directly behind it.

“Okay, what’s this then? An actual closet?” she muttered.

She put her hands through the coats and felt a cool breeze. Intrigued, she pushed past them and gasped when snow hit her in the face.

“What the hell?” she said.

She stopped and stared at her surroundings. She was in the middle of a snowy forest. Light snow fell on her face and hair as she looked around in awe. Her eyes fell on a black iron lamppost in the middle of a clearing. She looked at it and then looked at the coats.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” she muttered. “This can’t be what I think it is.”

As if on cue, a half man, half goat suddenly trotted out of the woods towards the lamppost. He was naked except for a bright red scarf and he had several parcels in his hands. Martha groaned when the goat man stopped and stared at her in stunned silence.

“Can it be?” she heard him mutter.

He skipped over to her.

“Excuse me,” the goat man said. “But…are you a daughter of Eve?”

“I can’t believe you have Narnia in your TARDIS, Doctor,” Martha muttered to herself.

The goat man frowned.

“I’m sorry? What was that you were saying?” he said.

“Nothing, I was…thinking aloud. Yes, I’m a daughter of Eve.”

The goat man’s mouth dropped open.

“I don’t believe it. The prophecy is finally coming to pass.”

“Yes and I have a feeling that when I get through this simulation, I’ll see the Doctor wearing a lion costume,” Martha muttered.

The goat man frowned.

“I’m sorry? What was that you were saying?”

“Nothing, nothing, look I’m sorry, but this is a mistake. I came in the wrong door and now I’m going to go back out again.”

“But you can’t,” the goat man said hurriedly. “You must come and have tea with me in my home.”

“No thanks, Mister Tumnus, I’ll pass.”

Tumnus was taken aback.

“How do you know my name?” he said in awe.

“I had all the Narnia books when I was small and I read every single one of them repeatedly, not to mention I saw all the movies, cartoons and the miniseries.”

The goat man gave her a confused look.

“What strange words you speak,” he said.

“Yeah, well, that’s because I come from a completely different time and I’m going to go back to that time now, so goodbye and good luck with the big war against the dark forces and the witch and all that.”

She turned to go back through the coats.

“Wait, are you going to get the others?” Tumnus asked. “The ones that the prophecy spoke of?”

“No, because unfortunately for you, there’s two other daughters of Eve in here and one son of…something. So, I’m afraid you and Narnia are out of luck, bye.”

“Wait!” he said as Martha dove through the coats.

She slammed the door behind her and sighed as she leaned against it.

“What’s next? Star Wars?” she muttered.

She went to the next door and opened it slowly. She stuck her head in and noticed the room looked like a Victorian children’s nursery.

“Oh goody, I found the Peter Pan room. Yeah, I can definitely see the Doctor as Peter since half the time he acts like a little kid.”

She stepped inside the room and closed the door.

“Okay, Doctor Pan, show yourself,” she yelled. “I s’pose Rose is Tinkerbell, yeah? Or is it Jack again in a green tutu?”

“There you are!”

Martha gasped when she heard a voice. She spun around and saw a woman standing in the room with her. She was dressed in a blue dress, a white apron and had her long, brown hair pulled back in a bun. She also looked a lot like Julie Andrews. Martha’s mouth dropped open when she recognized who it was.

“Okay, I’ve seen enough,” Martha said, inching towards the door.

“This nursery is a mess, we must clean it up,” the woman said sternly. “Spit spot, time to clean up the nursery!”

“Yeah, well, it isn’t my mess, Mary Poppins. Maybe you should go find Bert and…”

“In every job that must be done there is an element of fun,” the woman intoned. “You find the fun and SNAP, the job’s a game!”

“Yeah, spoonful of sugar, I get it. Bye now!”

Before Mary could say any more, she hurried out and slammed the door behind her.

“Right, maybe I should go down a different corridor. Apparently this is the hall of British book characters,” she said.

She hesitated a moment and then opened the door next to it. She looked in and quickly slammed it when she saw the sea of black spots on white fur and heard deafening barking echoing through the room.

“Nope, definitely don’t wanna step through piles of Dalmatian dog crap,” she muttered as she walked down the corridor.

She turned the corner and went to the first door she saw.

“Okay, this better not be Harry Potter,” she said.

She opened it and peeked inside. She frowned when she noticed the room was empty except for a Doctor bot who was lounging up against the back wall with his hands in his pockets. She stepped inside and closed the door.

“Greetings,” the Doctor bot said, nodding.

“Yeah…um…hi…what is this room then?” Martha said to him.

“This is the do nothing room,” he said.

“Okay and you just stand here and do nothing, right?”

“Yup.”

“Why does the Doctor have a do nothing room?”

She held up her hand when the bot started to open his mouth.

“Let me guess, it’s for those times when he feels like doing nothing,” she said.

“Yup.”

Martha nodded.

“Figures. So, are you standing in for him then?”

“I’m hiding.”

Martha frowned.

“Hiding from what?”

“This crazy nanny around the corner from here. She wants me to tidy up the nursery and every time I try to do it, she’s right there at my back singing loudly in my ear about eating sugar, so I ducked in here.”

“I don’t blame you. I would hide from her too.”

“She’s certifiable! Every time I get the nursery cleaned up, she messes it up so I have to do it again. And the woman sings all day and all night and all these birds keep flapping round her head while she does it so I have to clean up bird shite as well. I swear, if I hear her singing about supercali-something-something one more time, I will check myself into the loony bin and stay there.”

Martha nodded.

“Well, I’d love to stay in here and chat with you about the crazy nanny, but I’m on a scavenger hunt. But, good luck to you and I hope you find something better than cleaning up nurseries and bird crap.”

“Thanks, hopefully, I will. Um…if you see the singing psycho, could you kindly point her in a different direction so she won’t find me and subject me to more high-pitched torture?”

“Sure.”

He smiled.

“Thanks, much appreciated.”

Martha smiled at the bot before she opened the door and stepped outside into the corridor.

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