THE SCAVENGER HUNT

Chapter Twenty Two

“Right,” Rose said, looking down at the seven little versions of the Doctor. “I think right now we should play a game called clean up the filthy house. Then afterwards, we eat.”

“Got a better idea,” Grumpy said. “You clean and we’ll eat.”

“No, because I’m not the one who allowed animals to shite all over the floor. This is your house, you clean it up.”

“But you just said you’d live with us,” Brainy said. “Which means you are just as responsible for the upkeep as we are. Share and share alike, you know.”

“Come on, blokes!” Bouncy said with boundless enthusiasm. “Don’t make a fuss. Let’s do it and make a game outta it!”

“Yeah,” Silly said, “we could attach mops to our feet and pretend to ice skate!”

“Or, we could just go starkers and clean it that way!” Randy said, leering at Rose.

Rose quickly ran to the other side of the room when Randy tried to lay his tiny hand on her butt.

“Look, I’m staying with you lot for awhile so let’s just cooperate and clean the house, yeah?” she said to them.

“Why are you staying with us? Don’t you have a home of your own?” Grumpy said.

“Well,” she said as everyone gathered around her. “My…wicked…”

She grumbled under her breath at the Doctor for five seconds before she went on with her story.

“Stepmother is trying to kill me.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Weepy wailed as he flung himself around her legs. “NOT MY NEW BEST FRIEND!”

“Oh, put a sock in it, Emo Boy!” Grumpy said, rolling his eyes. “So in other words, your stepmother wants to kill you and if she finds us harboring you, she’ll kill us, is that how it works?”

“Well…I s’pose…”

“So we’re basically risking our necks for you because if that evil bitch finds us, we’ll all dead meat!” Grumpy said. “So why should we risk our lives to hide you here?”

“Because…It’s part of the story?” Rose said sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes when she heard loud cricket chirping while the seven dwarves just stared at her.

“Look, I’ll clean and cook for ya if you’ll let me stay here, deal?”

The dwarves gathered into a huddle and chatted softly before they walked back to her.

“Okay, you can stay but if the Queen comes around here…”

“I’ll eat an apple and drop dead,” Rose said.

Again, the crickets chirp while they stared at her silently.

“Never mind, just go and wash up and I’ll fix dinner,” she said.

“Oh boy, a bath, a bath, a bath!” Bouncy said, jumping up and down.

“I’m gonna go get my rubber duck!” Silly announced while he ran towards the stairs.

Rose looked down when Weepy tugged on her trouser leg.

“You won’t make me wash up, will you? I’m scared of getting wet,” he said.

Rose was shocked when his eyes widened until they were big, moist and doe eyed.

“Puh-leeze?” he said.

Fearful he’d start bawling again, Rose nodded and was relieved when a huge smile broke out on Weepy’s face and he hugged her.

“Wait a minute; if he doesn’t have to do it then I don’t have to do it either!”

Rose sighed and glared at Grumpy who glared right back.

“Well?” he challenged. “What makes the Bawlbaby so special that he doesn’t have to wash up? None of us have ever washed up and we aren’t going to, you hear me?”

“Whatever!” Rose said, throwing up her hands before walking away. “Do whatever you like, I’m going downstairs and going insane.”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! YOU MADE MY NEW FRIEND UPSET!”

“Oh, belt up, Weepy!”

Rose let out a frustrated yell as she flung herself into a tiny wooden chair at the table. She shoved the stacks of magazines away from her and put her head in her hands, shaking her head.

“I’m gonna kill the actual Doctor, I swear to God I am,” she muttered to herself.

“Don’t be upset, Rose.”

Rose looked up and saw Doc standing beside her.

“They can’t help their behaviors, you know. There’s a good reason why they’re named after personality traits. You see, all of them are one part of the current Doctor’s personality and each one acts according to the personality he was named for so don’t blame Grumpy for being angry and belligerent or Weepy for crying, that’s just the way they are.”

“What about you? You’re not named after a personality,” Rose said.

“Quite so. I’m the amalgam of all the other personalities. I am all six personalities combined, hence the name, Doc.”

“Oh, okay,” Rose said.

“Yes, I am the culmination, the sum parts, if you will, of all my brothers.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And might I add you got really big hooters there.”

Rose raised her eyebrow while Doc shrugged.

“I said, I am an amalgam of everyone else and I can’t help it if you’re hotter than the fires of Hell itself. I would love to ride you, my little pony.”

“Excuse me.”

Doc laughed and patted her leg.

“Don’t mind me; I’m just being a silly little boy. I mean you no harm.”

“Oh okay…I guess…”

“You guess? I just apologized and that’s all you can think to say to me?” Doc said angrily.

“Geez, okay, I’m sorry, I accept your apology.”

“No, it is I who am sorry,” Doc said, getting misty eyed. “That was rude and inconsiderate of me. Forgive me.”

“Okay, you’re forgiven.”

“Yippee!” he said, jumping up. “Now, come on, Rose. Turn that frown upside down and get up and get going, food to fix and work to do, go, go, go, go!”

“Okay, okay, I’m goin’,” Rose said, quickly getting up.

She took a couple of steps forward and turned to see Doc was eyeing her butt.

“You know, for a freakish giant, you got one smokin’ hot arse.”

Rose rolled her eyes. Once again, she muttered to herself about killing the Doctor when she finally got back to him as she walked over to the sink, grabbed a sponge and started to clean the animal crap on and around it.

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