THE SCAVENGER HUNT
Chapter Twenty Five. (Meanwhile in another part of the TARDIS…) Donna shook her head and sighed. “Blimey, this place is huge. How the Doctor managed to live in here and now get hopelessly lost is beyond me,” she muttered to herself. She had been in several rooms without finding anything else on her list. She was getting angry and frustrated and was nearly ready to call it quits. She went to the next door and paused when she noticed a gold plaque was mounted to the front of it. FAIRY TALE ROOM. Donna’s interest peaked and she went inside. Inside she noticed three more doors. Each door had another gold plaque mounted on it. The door on the far left said THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA, the door in the middle said SLEEPING BEAUTY, and the door on the far right said, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. As she was staring at them, the door marked the princess and the pea slowly creaked open. Donna walked over to it, opened the door wider and looked inside. Inside she saw a large interior that resembled an ancient castle like one out of a fairy tale. The walls were made of stone and the floor was gleaming white marble. Across the room was an oak door that was at least twenty feet tall. On either side of it stood two guards wearing chain mail, helmets and a red tunic that had a gold lion across the front of it. Donna stepped further into the room and gasped when the door slammed shut behind her. “Oi! Let me out!” she said, when she tried the door and it wouldn’t open. “Hello.” She turned and gasped when a man was in front of her, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. He was dressed in a purple kingly outfit that had gold trim and purple robes trimmed with white ermine. On his head was a small gold crown. He smiled at her. “I am the Master…of this castle,” he said in a sinister voice. “Are you the princess?” “Um…” Donna was at a loss for words. The Master took her hand and kissed the back of it gently. “Come, Your Royal Highness, dine with me and then afterwards, you will begin your test.” “Test, what test?” Donna said. “Why, the test to see if you are a true princess or not. Now come, a great feast is being held in your honor.” Donna shrugged. She allowed the Master to lead her towards the other end of the gigantic room while she clutched her clipboard firmly to her chest. Martha returned from the loo and sat back down in her seat. While she waited for intermission to end, she listened to the Jack bot playing a happy tune on his organ. While she listened, she suddenly got up out of her seat and walked down to the organ. The Jack bot smiled and stopped playing when he saw her. “Any requests?” he asked with a charming smile. “Um…” Martha was thrown by the question. “I’m not sure, just play something nice,” she said to him. She leaned on the side of the organ and smiled as Jack played and sang Wind Beneath My Wings. She applauded and he stood up and bowed when he finished. “Thank you, I know many more songs.” The lights dimmed. “But I can’t play them now. So take your seat.” Martha nodded and hurried back up to her seat while Jack cracked his knuckles and began to play a jaunty tune. Martha sat down and grabbed her popcorn just as the title card came up. WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES, THEY WERE DOOMED TO DIE A SNOWY DEATH. Martha munched on her popcorn while she watched the Doctor digging his way out of the enormous snowdrift and pull Rose’s lifeless body out with him. The Doctor laid her on top of the snow bank and began shaking his head when he noticed she wasn’t moving. NO, THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING. SHE CAN’T BE DEAD. The Doctor finished mouthing that when the title card cut back to the action. The Jack bot played a melancholy melody as the Doctor gently cupped Rose’s face in his hands. ROSE? The scene shifted to Rose’s white face. The faint image of a skull was superimposed over it. The Doctor did a melodramatic recoil. THE SPECTRE OF DEATH LOOMS OVER HIS BELOVED. THE ONE THING THE DOCTOR FEARS ABOVE ALL ELSE! The title card said as Jack played a dramatic chord. The scene came back and Rose’s face was once again in close up. To Martha’s shock, she saw what looked like a huge pear superimposed on Rose’s head. OH WAIT, HE FEARS PEARS TOO, the title card said. The Doctor once again recoiled in horror. THE SPECTER OF DEATH AND PEARS! OH, THE HORROR! Martha rolled his eyes when it cut back to him, shaking his head as he finished saying that. She watched while the Doctor mimed giving artificial resuscitation to Rose. Then when she wouldn’t respond, he clenched his fists and screamed a silent scream up to the air. Martha rolled her eyes again when he spent the next five minutes beating his chest, pulling his hair, shaking his fist at the sky, violently slapping Rose’s cheeks, violently slapping his own cheeks, weeping, wailing and acting like an all-around twit. While he was doing all this, he kept talking. Martha kept waiting for the title card to come back and tell her what he was saying but when it didn’t she started reading his lips. For the most part, he seemed to be swearing and saying rude things like twat and titties and at one point it seemed like he was yelling about how Rose’s breasts were bouncy and he liked to play with them and she could have sworn he said the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog somewhere in between all of it. Finally after five minutes another title card came up and Martha shook her head when all it said was… LIVE, DAMN IT! Then suddenly, Rose came back to life and the Doctor let out an exaggerate gasp. SUDDENLY, HIS TRUE LOVE WAKES FROM HER SLUMBER OF DEATH. The Doctor gathered her in his arms and there was a close up on their faces while he kissed her face while she slowly woke up. “Boy, Doctor, I bet that makeup tasted yummy,” Martha muttered as he watched him giving her several sloppy kisses. Jack played a romantic melody as Rose smiled at the Doctor. OH, ROSE, YOU’VE COME BACK TO ME. Rose smiled and began to speak to him. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU, DOCTOR! More romantic music and more kisses as Martha let out a bored sigh. “Yeah, I see enough of this in real life between the two of em without seeing it here, let’s move on,” she muttered. Finally, they stopped kissing and looked around. WHERE ARE WE, DOCTOR? The Doctor scratched his head and then held his finger up as his face lit up. WE’RE IN DEPRESSION ERA OKLAHOMA DURING A FREAK SNOWSTORM! “Wow, Sherlock, that’s amazing! I’m shocked you figured that out all by yourself!” Martha said sarcastically. The two of them stood up and took a step. Martha laughed when the two of them fell through the enormous snowdrift and the title card said… SHOOOOOOOM! “Yeah, shoom ‘bout sums it up,” Martha said. She laughed again when the Doctor crawled back up out of his hole, spit snow out of his mouth and shook his fist as he yelled at the sky. Martha was gonna read his lips again when the title card came up. THE DOCTOR IS SAYING WORDS THAT AREN’T FIT FOR POLITE SOCIETY. “Damn,” Martha muttered when the scene came back and the Doctor was now helping Rose out of her hole. They clutched at one another like they were a pair of life belts while Rose said… OH, DOCTOR, WHATEVER SHALL WE DO? THE SNOW IS TOO DEEP! The Doctor scratched his head and then held up his finger as his face lit up. I KNOW! I SHALL DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER AND PRAY LIKE A CHRISTIAN! Martha laughed as the Doctor fell to his knees. He slowly began to sink down into the snow while he clasped his hands in prayed and looked at the sky. Then he pulled a rosary bead out of his coat and began to count the beads while he said Hail Marys. SUDDENLY, THE DOCTOR’S PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED! There was a close up on the snow and slowly two sets of snowshoes appeared. Then there was a close up on the Doctor’s face as he became overjoyed. Then the camera panned back and Martha laughed when the Doctor had now sunk down into the snow up to his neck as he yelled up at the sky. THANK YOU, GOD! BUT NOW CAN YOU GET ME OUT OF THE SNOWDRIFT? Martha rolled her eyes when the film reversed and the Doctor magically came back out of the hole. When it was done the film ran normally while the Doctor and Rose put the snowshoes on. Then both of them walked across the snow while Jack bot played a jaunty traveling tune. SUDDENLY, THROUGH THE SNOW, THEY SEE SOMETHING RISING UP AHEAD. SOMETHING MONSTROUS! The camera focused on their faces while both of them did exaggerated double takes and pointed ahead. AN ICE PALACE IN THE MIDDLE OF OKLAHOMA! The title card cut to an enormous glittering ice palace about a mile away in the raging snowstorm. The camera cut back to the Doctor and Rose who were still pointing at it with mouths agape. DOCTOR, WHAT COULD THIS MEAN? The scene cut back to Rose as she finished mouthing that. IT MEANS SHELTER FROM THE SNOW, COME ROSE, LET’S GO AND SEE IF ANYONE’S HOME! The Doctor finished mouthing that to Rose who nodded. Then holding hands, both of them tread over the top of the snow towards the ice palace.
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