TURN ME ON, DEAD MAN
Chapter Twenty Two After they rounded up everyone and put them in holding cells on the TARDIS until they could be sorted out, they went back and went through Satan's office and grabbed the hard drive of his computer and any files and photos they could find. They then made a search of the building and when they felt they had gotten everything relevant they could find, Rory and Paul put their arms around their women and all of them headed back to the TARDIS. While the Doctor went back to interrogate the prisoners, he told everyone else to relax and eat and not to worry about anything. Rory and Amy led them back to the kitchen while the Doctor went to the holding cells. They rummaged through the refrigerator and started making sandwiches while they got crisps out of the cupboards and milk and soda from the fridge. While they were doing that, Paul introduced Angela to everyone. It was while they were in the kitchen that Amy and Rory finally saw the Beatles loosen up enough that they became as playful as they were in the movies. Paul and George laughed while John chased Ringo around with a knife that had mustard on it, trying to shove it up his nose. While they were doing that, Paul announced to everyone that Amy was now his adopted sister. "Are you sure, Paulie?" John said as he grabbed Amy from behind, "sure this isn't some ruse to get close to her so you can have multiple girlfriends and she can be married to two men." "I don't think so, Lennon," Paul said as John ticked Amy and kissed her cheek when she laughed. While they were playing around, Paul noticed William sitting with Angela at the kitchen table, silently watching. Paul walked over to William and put his hand on his shoulder. "Listen, mate, you and I are sorta connected now and I would really like to help you," he said to him. "What they did to you was disgusting and I want to make sure you're healed from all this since I was indirectly the reason why you got mixed up with that lot. So if you don't mind, I can find you a place to stay and if you don't want to go back to Scotland, I can find some work for you, perhaps helping us out. We always need roadies or bodyguards or just people to hang out with. Sound good?" "I'd like that. I've been missing now for awhile and it would feel strange going back home. I'd rather stay in London." "I know what you mean," Paul said. "And you, Angela?" "I think I'm gonna go back home. My family probably misses me and I'm ready to finish my studies and become a real nurse." "Good, I'm glad. Thanks for helping us, both of you." "Well, you're right. We had to gather up the courage and fight back sooner or later. I didn't feel like growing old and dying in that place any more than you did." "I'm glad it turned out well and we got out of there alive," Paul said. He grinned. "And!" he said, raising his voice above the din. "I was privy to a lot of information about our future, courtesy of my cellmate here and she promised me a peek at the Doctor's Beatle room if we escaped." "Really? Well, lead on, Pond, I wanna see what debauchery we get into," John said. Amy laughed. They all grabbed their plates and glasses and followed her. On the way to the room, Paul slowed down until he got in between John and George. John nudged Paul with his elbow as they walked along. "Good to have ya back, Paulie," John said. "No one can replace ya." Paul beamed at that. Amy glanced back and smiled when he saw Paul surrounded by his best friends, smiling contentedly as he was surrounded by their love. Twenty minutes later, the Beatles room was filled with hysterical laughter. There was a poster of the Sergeant Pepper album cover and Paul was using it to inform his friends about the death clues. William was beside him and he was staring at himself in disbelief, hardly able to believe that was him with the other Beatles. "You know what, mates," John said when he finished explaining the album clues. "I think we should go ahead and do this, just for a laugh. Sort of an inside joke between us." Everyone laughed when Paul rolled his eyes. "I told my sister over there I didn't want to look like an Easter egg!" he said, pointing to Amy. "Yeah, well, I'll look like one just to see you look like one, mate!" John crowed as Paul wacked him in the head with the poster. "Actually, we do know some good makeup artists; we oughta make William up for an even bigger laugh and let him be you on the cover." "Me?" William said. "You want me to get the plastic surgery done." "No, no, no!" John said, coming over to him and putting his arm around him. "No, keep your face. We've done a couple of films and we know the people who did our makeup. They're very good at what they do and they could make you up to look like Paul without having to use plastic surgery. It's your decision, of course. But we love having a laugh and we love inside jokes and after seeing this, I think it would be funny to have you stand in for Paulie, at least just this once." "Unless..." Ringo said, coming up beside him, "you could be his full time double and get into makeup on occasion and make public appearances for him." "Yeah!" John said while everyone laughed. "You could help Paulie out when he doesn't feel like opening supermarkets and shopping centers." "Don't listen to them, William. They're nutters. You don't have to double for me if you don't want!" Paul said. "Just don't make a mistake and marry his girl, that would be embarrassing," John said to William with a wink, "But...Oi, quit wacking me over the head with the bloody poster, Paulie! I'm gonna beat you to death with that Ringo plushie over there if you don't stop." "Why don't you beat him to death with your own plushie?" Ringo asked. "Because you have a bigger nose and it'll hurt more," John said as everyone laughed. He patted William on the shoulder. "But I do agree with Paul, stay with us for awhile at least as our guest and friend. You probably need some rest after all this." "Thank you," William said humbly while everyone smiled. Paul looked at Amy and slapped his hands together. "So, what else is there? You mentioned two very freaky sounding films, where are those?" The Doctor was tired. He had managed to interrogate Satan and Martok and got some information from them using hypnosis techniques that were similar to the ones they employed but much more powerful. The other men he learned were brainwashed and he was going to help heal their minds before finding out where they belonged. While he was walking towards his kitchen, he heard raucous laughter coming from the living room. He went inside and found everyone laughing hysterically at Yellow Submarine. Amy saw him and waved him over. "I told Paul a few things about the future so he and everyone else wanted to see the album covers and watch the films." "We watched Magical Mystery Tour and had a good laugh," Paul said to him. "I actually like a lot of the songs and now we're making mental lists of the ones we're gonna steal once this is over." "Yeah, no sense making up new songs when we have all these readymade ones," John said. "We're even thinking about doing some of this stuff just for a laugh." The Doctor smiled at that. He quickly went and fixed himself a snack. By the time he returned, they were near the end of the film. "You lot think it's a bit too coincidental that there are the Beatles and there are lookalikes in Pepperland?" Paul was saying. "Another reference to that lot's evil plots?" "I don't know about that, but I'm gonna kill whoever told someone to animate me with buck teeth," John said. "I have buck teeth as well," Paul said. "And look at my eyes; I look like I'm from Ancient Egypt!" "Well, at least the whites of your eyes are black," Ringo said. "Never mind those demon people in there, I look demonic here." "Yeah, well at least your hair doesn't look like it's in a perpetual wind tunnel," George said while everyone laughed. "Why they chose to give me hair that sticks out on one end, I'll never know. I can poke someone's eye out with it!" The Doctor sat down in a chair beside Amy and winked at her while everyone else laughed. Jane snuggled up against Paul while they watched the ending and the three Beatles and William. "Is it me or are you lot a bit stiff?" Paul said. "Not to mention you're all overacting." "Sod that, what the hell happened to Johnny's hair, it's draped around his face like a bleedin'curtain," Ringo said. "Well, that's nothing compared to him lookin' like fuckin' Jesus Christ on that Abbey Road album," George said as they laughed. "Hey, Johnnie said we're bigger than Jesus so I guess he had to become Jesus to prove his point!" Paul said, ducking as John took a swipe at his head. After they watched Let It Be, they started playing the albums starting with Sergeant Pepper. They passed the albums around and examined them while they listened to them. Paul started laughing when A Day in the Life came on and they got to his part in the middle of it. "Oh my God, I know what this is," he said to Amy as the other Beatles laughed. "I wondered how they were gonna use my voice until William was ready. This little bit here is a song idea I had where I sang about a typical day for me. Sometimes if I have an idea for a song and lyrics and we're recording at the time, I come in and sing the lyrics and make a demo to see how it sounds. I sang that bit, didn't like how it sounded and dropped the idea and forgot all about it and now, here it is, the fucking thing is in the middle of another song!" he said as everyone laughed. "So they were just cobbling together bits and pieces so they'd have my voice on there. Actually it sounds odd in the middle of this song. It's a somber song and then suddenly here comes my bouncy, jaunty tune and now we're back to being somber again. Talk about being desperate to include me in the album!" They finished with that album and listened to the others. By this time, they had gotten a pad of paper and a pen and were jotting down the songs they liked while the Doctor promised to give them the albums and provide a runoff of the lyrics so they would have them for reference. By the time they were finished, several hours had passed and the Doctor had the TARDIS make up guest rooms for them so they could get some rest. Everyone bid each other goodnight and Jane and Amy followed Paul and Rory into their rooms before they shut the door and retired for the night.
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