TWENTY MOMENTS WITH ROMANA

Author noteRomana_II/Ten slight mention of Romana_I/Four.

I was inspired by the song Hurt for this One shot

Please review.

DisclaimerI don't own Doctor who If I did Romana would be reunited with her Doctor.

Beta read by Lady Catkin

It felt like it was yesterday when Romana, his soul mate, his equal, was with him.

They had travelled through time and space together; righting wrongs, collecting keys of time.

At first he didn't want her with him; her put downs, her icy expression and her withering looks. All had made him want to abandon her on some far flung moon and pick her up on the way back.

He had certainly not been used to having someone who matched him in intelligence and sense of adventure. He had certainly been convinced before he had left Gallifrey initially that he was the only one of his kind. The only member of the Prydonian Deca that didn't want to mess around with time or rule the multi-verse.

Her wit was something he had come to adore. He had even begrudgingly and rather secretly admired how she could fly the TARDIS better than him. He knew he had never admitted that to her.

He wrinkled his nose as his mind shot images into his head of her landing the type 40 completely perfectly and how she grinned at him in triumph each time. Even then, he would always say it was an awful landing only to have her scoff at him and roll her bright, fiery eyes.

Then something had changed.

The irritating acolyte she had once been to him had dissipated, leaving being this magnificent creature he had no choice but to adore. He had been in love before and certainly had not since. Not like that, not that sort of world-ending love which was here today and gone tomorrow.

He had tried to fill his mind and even his hearts with others... but none of them had been her. His flesh had not burnt with desire for anyone like it did for her. His hearts did not quicken their pace for anyone. He tried too hard and only found disappointment.

One day each year, each Gallifreyan year, he would stop and remember her. He was brave the rest of the time. He breathed, he smiled, he rambled on to whichever companion was currently trailing after her, but today... today was when it all came out. It was the very least he could do in her beautiful memory.

He sighed deeply, allowing the pain that he held back with such effort that invaded his body.

He grimaced with the force of it and he knew, in that instant, he would trade his remaining regenerations just to be with her. Just to see her face and hold her in his arms.

There were so many 'what ifs'. The part of his brain that dealt with reason said clearly to him that he shouldn't do this to himself, that regrets and wishes were not helping him with his grief. He knew it and yet could not help himself.

He wished he had not left her in E-space, he wished he had not left her for the Time Lords to betray.

He knew he was irrationally blaming himself, but he couldn't help it. He wished he could have protected her from all wrongs and all hurt and he had failed. That stabbed deeper into his hearts.

Although he knew that if he could relive his life, just start all over again, he would have done things so differently, with her anyway. If there was only one person he could keep safe and protect from all the hurt and horror, it would be her.

There were millions, probably, of races and cultures he had visited during his collected travels and so many had believed in an after life. He had no idea if there was one. Time Lords did not believe in such frivolity and unknown. Yet in the ancient, forbidden past, in the time of the Pythia who had once ruled Gallifrey, he knew that there had been a profound belief in life after life, not wholly dissimilar to that of humans.

He cast his eyes to the over cast sky above him and wondered if the ancient Gallifreyans had been right. Was there a heaven? Was Romana still 'alive' somewhere? He hoped so, and hoped he had tried to make her proud through what he had done and achieved during his time after the end of the time war.

He just wished to tell her that he thought about her every moment of every day, he just wished so much to have her back. Part of him, however was glad.

Because she was safe.

Nothing and nobody could ever hurt her. She would come to no more harm wherever she was and he knew, that when it was his time, she would come for him and they would, finally, be reunited.

Him and his Romana together at last.

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