TWENTY MOMENTS WITH ROMANA

A/N The Path to Healing. Any mistakes are mine when I added things to the story. Spoilers for Gallifrey series 4

Beta read by The Ones Who Waited.

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Disclaimer I own nothing.

It had been a long and tiring day for Irving Braxiatel. Now he just wanted to relax and forget all that had happened, but a recurring image was playing in his head. Several in fact, and they were plaguing him with regrets and guilt. Losing the most beautiful creature he had ever seen had hit him hard. He was always known as the sensible one, the one who didn't run into things like his brother the Doctor. But he clearly had not been sensible that day.

If only he had not time-scooped them into the Axis! He wouldn't have abandoned Romana and the others. He would not of had to see her face full of absolute fear when she saw him fall through the time portal. And now he saw that face every night in his nightmares.

He had eventually returned home with a cure for the dogma virus, but then the war happened. The war he had foreseen. Gallifrey was destroyed in seconds. He barely escaped, his people's screams echoing in his head. He went back to his beloved collection and tried to forget the horrors of war.

She was admiring the art and the sculptures, there were many works of art stacked against against the walls. Marble busts of people adorned a long red wood shelf covering the walls. On the shelf above she noticed various artifacts. They was the Rosetta Stone. It was very old, ancient perhaps, written in three different languages picking it up She could tell it was quite old,probably worth quite a bit. She had fallen on hard times recently, this was just a means to survive,she told herself.

If only the Doctor had let her travel with him. Before it had been about stealing for the adventure and not about the money. The Doctor and her could have been so good together, perfect equals. She was as smart as him and she knew it .Oh well, she thought,shoving the artifact into her bag.

Suddenly she felt strong arms grip her shoulders and spin her around. Facing her was a tall thin man with a stupid hat. She struggled from his grip but at no avail. He held her tightly.

"What do you think you are doing?" said the voice belonging to the man who gripped her arm tightly.

"Get your hands off me," Christina said as she attempted to get out of his grasp, but Braxiatel held her tightly. He marched her heavy handily into his office, locked the door and forced her onto the chair.

The office adored even more works of art on the walls and several photos on his desk of people wearing robes and more silly hats, almost as if they were royalty.

"Want to explain what you were doing trying to steal from my collection?"

"Your collection?"

"Yes, the Braxiatel collection. I am Irving Braxiatel."

"Lady Christina de Souza," she replied.

"Well, Lady Christina, I think you should empty your bag and pockets."

"I will not!" She hissed angrily.

"Do it now!" His voice seemed to be inside her mind,manipulating her thoughts. Her actions were totally under his control rendering her powerless."Listen to me, listen to my voice. I am Irving Braxiatel and you will obey me."

Reluctantly she placed the items on the table. He gasped at the fob watch that appeared,not knowing if she was one of his own people(most likely the Rani knowing his luck),or stolen.

He picked it up. "Where did you get this from?"

"It's mine," She insisted as he held it up. "Give it back." She pleaded as if that watch was her salvation. That made no sense since it had been broken for years.

"No, I don't think so. Only Time Lords can have this. Which makes you a thief!"

"I am not a thief," Christina protested which was quite silly . He had just caught her stealing from his collection and she was claiming she was not a thief.

Braxiatel raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't steal it," she said quietly.

He looked into her eyes. They were centuries old as if they had seen so much and they were showing him she was speaking the truth. Which meant only one thing. She was one of his people. After all this time! there were others that survived the war, which made this woman his responsibility, whoever she turned out to be.

He handed her the watch. "Open it," he told her.

She gripped it in her hand, hesitating but running her fingers over it.

"Why are you hesitating?"

"It's broken. It's just a battered old watch."

"It's so much more," he said softly. "Trust me and open the watch."

After what felt like eons Christina flicked the watch open. A sudden light danced around her as memories surfaced inside. She glanced at Braxiatel who was looking at her in awe.

"Romana!" he beamed at her expecting her be just as happy to see him. But she raised her hand and slapped him across the face.

"You!" she hissed, looking at him with utter contempt.

Braxiatel immediately put his hand to his face, where a red mark had already appeared on his face.

"Romana?" He gave her a questioning look. Wondering now if it really was her. Just like the Doctor he was usually good at recognising another Time Lord

"You selfish old man, you backstabbing toad, you betrayer of friends!" the accusations fell from her mouth. Something was very wrong. Braxiatel sensed it. This was not like her, she had never spoken to him in such a way before. She continued to rant and scream at him until there was silence as the two Time Lords looked at each other.

"What happened to you, Romana? You were never like this."

"I grew up," she announced. "I had to, to survive." Her tone was harsh and direct.

"Romana, you don't need to act all ruthless and tough. You are not alone."

"You abandoned Gallifrey. You said you would never give up," she cried as hot tears streamed down her face. "I let you get me away from Gallifrey, Gallifrey our home, as the free time virus destroyed Gallifrey. That was down to me! What about all those I abandoned to their fate? They're all gone and you!" she shouted, now absolutely furious with him. "You abandoned me! "

Braxiatel shook his head in sorrow. "I never wanted that to happen, to be separated from you. I did what I did for you because I cared and wanted to protect you. The Lord burner would not have stopped with just killing me, but he would have taken you all down with me. As for the dogma virus, it was not your fault. You can't keep blaming yourself." He spoke in a gentle calming tone trying to make Romana see they had been no choice.

Romana squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered that day. The worse day of her life as she,Narvin and Leela watched both the Lord Burner and Braxiatel tumble through the time portal.

"Where will they end up?" Leela had asked.

"I don't know," she had replied trying to control her emotions.

"Chances are they wont go anywhere," Narvin had added.

"They will be trapped in there forever, maybe they will get lucky and fall through a crack. Maybe one will survive, maybe both will. The selfish old man," Romana had started to cry.

To lose the Doctor all those years ago, been forced to exile him was bad enough, but to lose Braxiatel filled her with grief.

"But they is a chance Braxiatel might survive? Leela asked trying to not let Romana give up hope.

"A slim chance," Romana whispered as the tears fell down her face . She remembered how her hearts had shattered at losing him.

"But Braxiatel, he saved us," Leela said.

"Yes," she agreed. "He saved us, but at a what a cost."

Braxiatel had known all about the Lord burner, having been one himself so long ago, although not by choice. Then he had been ordered to kill the Doctor, an old man and a child. Well, he was old in that incarnation. They were no risk to anyone, they were family.

He had known on the Alternative Gallifrey the Lord Burner would have killed them all, including Romana, if the Lord Burner's President had commanded it.

"No? Then who do I blame?" she hissed. "Who do I blame?" she whispered, more quietly.

"I relied on you, I trusted you, you were my frie-"

"Friend?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far."

"Romana, I was, I am your friend, please let's not fight. I am here for you always."

"Well maybe I don't want any part of it. A universe without the Time Lords! Wouldn't that be a novelty? No silly rules, no stupid hats, no 'You been a backstabbing traitor'," she hissed angrily as he griped her arm tightly. His face was a mixture of pain and grief.

"Well, it looks like you got your wish," he snapped. He was sick of Romana's little display. He had been calm, he had been patient, but now that patience was wearing thin.

Both his hearts hurt that Romana was no longer someone who cared about him. That Romana felt like she was gone forever. He had done what was right and all she could do was scream at him. Is this what madness is, how she's acting?He thought to himself.

"What?" She looked at him, her emotions all over the place. She wanted to throw her arms around him but at the same time determined to stay angry with him.

"There was a war. A Time War, and the Daleks invaded, and Rassilon was raised up as the saviour of our people." He laughed bitterly. "Oh, you should seen it. Our people were slaughtered like cattle. I don't know which was worse. The Daleks or Rassilon's betrayal of his own kind."

"The final sanction' he had said. His plan was for the Time lords to be the only life forms in existence. He said we would be great again, with all time ceasing. The Doctor stopped him with a time lock, everyone else is living the event over and over in an endless time loop."

Romana's lip trembled. She let out an ugly sob as she hit him. "Take it back. It's not true!" she screamed as she sank her teeth into his hand. She scratched at him like she was a wild animal as he tried to calm her down by holding her firmly, but then seemed to back off seeing his expression. She knew it was true. What had she done to Braxiatel? He had told her the truth and she had attacked him.

Braxiatel looked down at his hand where she had bitten him, but he was more concerned over Romana's welfare and state of mind. It was almost like she had gone mad. There was so much that needed to come out. Braxiatel wondered what exactly had happened to her in the other Gallifrey to make her like this.

She sank to the floor a safe distance away, wrapping her arms around herself and sobbing quietly like she was a little girl again. He came closer to her, their knees touching. He sat on the floor next to her and gently reached for her hand.

"Are they all gone?" Romana whispered after a long silence.

Braxiatel nodded. "Tell me what happened." He spoke more softly to her, sensing she possible needed to be handled with care. She seemed to be suffering a great deal of pain. Something had driven her to act this way. He had never seen her this way, not even after the whole Dalek slavery she endured for twenty years. But at least she was talking. That had to be a good sign.

"It hardly seems to matter now," she whispered as she stood up.

Braxiatel got up from the floor and faced her."Please tell me," he said, determined that Romana would get it all out of her system so she could heal.

"You know what I did on the Alternative Gallifrey. I made the same mistakes over and over again played out in different ways, whole civilizations lay in ashes because of me. They called me a destroyer of worlds and the worse thing was... I chose it. I said 'Yes, I am a destroyer of worlds"

"I'm sorry, I should have been there but-" Started Braxiatel, taking her arm gently.

"Get off me!" She screamed. "I hate you, don't you get it! Narvin died, stripped of all his regenerations, he died in my arms! I could not save him. I couldn't save him and Leela walked away. Could you blame her? I let her down. I promised I would protect them and she followed me to these other Gallifrey's. She saw how we lost you, Narvin and then K-9.

Finally she broke down in tears and sobs as if both her hearts were broken. He took her into his arms and held her close to him, knowing she was too exhausted to fight him.

"Shhh," he whispered, "let it all out, Romana." Wanting her to let all her anger and pain out so she could start to heal, she clung to him.

"I'm sorry," she choked the words out. The tears wouldn't stop.

He gently stroked her hair. "It's all right. I will take care of you. Let me take care of you now," he pleaded. "There is only us left. We only have each other." She pulled away. He took a tissue and dried her tears. Without warning she pressed her lips against his, hungrily kissing him, but he pulled away and held her at arm's length.

"No, Romana. This isn't what you want."

"I want you," She said as she started unbuttoning his shirt and kissing down his neck. He let out a groan at the feel of her kisses, but he snapped out of it.

Yet the more he protested the more she wanted him.

Braxiatel had spent years been in direct competition with his brother for Romana's affections, and her hearts. Now she could be his for the taking without the Doctor butting in

"I just want to forget. Please."She whispered. He hated seeing her in such pain, and so he lifted her off her feet, pressing her against the wall and, bringing his lips to hers, kissed her.

He wanted to forget too, forget his pain. He was tired of it all.

"Brax," she mumbled into his mouth. "I want you I don't just want to forget I wanted you ever since you were my Cardinal I used to think of you turning up in the night."

He placed a tender kiss on her lips. "I wanted to but I never thought you saw me like that," he admitted. To him Romana had been his President. Which meant she had been untouchable, but now she was here. And he could have her if he wanted to. There was nothing to stop him.

Braxiatel had spent so much time away from his own kind, accepting that they had, more or less, gone, but now Romana was back. A reminder of what he thought he had lost.

It had torn at his hearts falling through that portal, being separated from her. She was somebody he and the Doctor had both at different times loved. He needed Romana just as much as she needed him. Knowing full well how stubborn she was,though,he knew she would never admit to needing anything.

They both needed each other, needed to heal. Maybe they could help each other, and maybe,just maybe, Romana could finally be with him. Just like he had always dreamed.

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