A NEW NAME FOR VOLDEMORT
AN -- Heyyyy, all. Welcome to my fic! This is a very weird peice - probably the closest I'll ever get to a parody. The 'oog' language is something my friend told me about and (oddly) I immediately got this plot bunny. For the record, Voogoloogdoogemoogoroogtoog is pronounced; Voog - oh - loog - doog - ee - moog - oh - roog - toog and the 'oo' is pronounced as in 'too'. You recognize, I don't own. Review or Jo will go back and make this name cannon. And no one wants that!
Neville paced ceaselessly along the back of the Room of Requirement. He’d called a meeting a good half an hour ago, and yet only Luna had shown up so far. He shouldn’t have been surprised; it was taking longer and longer to assemble the D.A., what with the added dangers and risks of being caught these days (and Umbridge seemed like small potatoes next to the Carrows). Still, though - he couldn’t help but worry.
Eventually, the entire group was assembled; or at least, those that were left. Smiling shakily, Neville took his place in front of them, and, with a deep breath, began to speak.
“Dumbledore always believed that fear of a name was a pointless, silly thing and now, just when we all have started to come to terms with calling You-Know-Who by his real name, they go and place a taboo on his name, and send us back to calling him by something cowardly. They’re forcing us back into submission, back into calling him that sounds right proper and fearful. So, the reason I’ve called you all here is to try and come up with something a bit more reasonable to call him.”
For a moment, there was silence. Finally, Ginny arched a bruised, pale eyebrow. “Voldyshorts?”
Everyone flinched collectively, but slowly, a smile crept over Neville’s face. “That’s clever, Ginny! But I don’t know… Maybe we want something that the Death Eaters won’t be able to recognize? I mean, that we can say around the Death Eaters and they won’t realize we’re talking about You-Know-Who?”
Instantly, Luna blinked and looked up from examining the bruise on her hip. “Voogoloogdoogemoogoroogtoog.”
“Bless you!” Colin Creevey piped up cheerfully from a hammock.
“No, that’s what we can call him. That’s what we can call He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,” Luna insisted.
Immediately, what was left of Dumbledore’s Army attempted to repeat what she’d just said with varying levels of failure.
“Voogoloogdoogemoogoroogtoog!” Luna repeated loudly over the rising din. Silence fell as the idiocy of what they were all trying to reproduce dawned on them.
“Where did you get that, Luna?” Neville asked gently, albeit weirdly impressed.
“It’s the language of the Farflapping Foolians. You pronounce each vowel in a word as though it’s a long vowel, and add ‘oog’ to the end of every consonant.” Luna shrugged, “Granted, it makes it difficult if you don’t know how to spell something, but it’s a great code.”
Knowing how it worked, now, the D.A. found it considerably easier to pronounce, and after a bit of practice, they all had it down.
“Voogoloogdoogemoogoroogtoog it is,” Neville said beamingly, and the meeting was adjourned.
- - - -
All of the members of Dumbledore’s Army who had been at that fateful meeting used Luna’s name for Voldemort up to his demise, and a few even slipped up and called the Dark Lord that long after the taboo was gone.
The Carrow twins and all the other Death Eaters station at Hogwarts never did realize what the children meant when they whispered, “Down with Voogoloogdoogemoogoroogtoog!” as they passed in the corridors.
--Cayenne
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