HELLBOY FORTUNES
Author’s notes: The challenge—Take your favorite fandom out for Chinese and have them open those little cookies and read their fortunes to each other. This is a touch more comicverse than movieverse, except for John Myers and Tom Manning.
Hellboy (The actual fortune in his cookie.)
A monster who kills other monsters. Bad fortune comes.
Hellboy (What he ‘reads’ after he throws his real fortune away.)
Wise men say “Don't give a crap about fortune”.
Abe Sapien
Man who gazes too deep into the blue globe may become a fish.
Trevor Bruttenholm
Man who encounters weird things in a church has found a son.
Liz Sherman
Beware the fire that burns all. Control brings peace.
John Myers
Babysit a demon. Good fortune.
Tom Manning
Man with unique bureau to run needs to find a good cigar.
Hellboy, who is a big eater and still hungry, decides to put in an order for an extra triple serving of Mu Shu pork. When the order comes, it also comes with a plate of three more fortune cookies.
Hellboy opens the first cookie. Man who puts head in hole cannot hide from the truth.
He tosses the fortune away.
He warily breaks opens the second cookie. A crown and throne await the powerful one in the Place of the Fly. As he tosses this one away, a weird bird flies through, grabs the fortune in its beak, and flies away.
He crushes the last cookie unopened in his huge stone fist.
“The wise man knows when to quit. Good fortune,” he mutters, taking another huge bite of his pancake wrapped pork.
All of his friends and family sitting in the restaurant with him nod in agreement.