A ROAD LESS TRAVELED

A/N: Next chapter - Bobby and Alex.


They crossed into Central Park five minutes later – Logan, Eames, Ross and Wheeler. Wheeler had jumped at the opportunity, clearly relieved to not be left out. When they arrived at the designated spot, a small restaurant with a separate room for private functions, Ross didn't know whether to be suspicious or angry to find Jim Deakins waiting for them.

"Danny," Deakins greeted the current Major Case captain with a firm handshake.

"Jim," Ross answered. He looked over at Mike and Alex, frowning deeply. "Why do I feel like I'm being ambushed here?"

"You're not," Mike said quickly. "Honestly. But before you hit the proverbial roof, can you at least give us the chance to explain. Please?"

Ross nodded curtly and sat down, motioning for Wheeler to do the same.

"All right. What's this all about?"

"Like I said," Alex responded, "you have questions and we can answer them. But to do that, we have tell you a story, and it's not a very pleasant one. Let us tell you, and then you can ask whatever questions you want, and we'll do our best to answer them. Fair enough?"

Ross nodded again, and settled back in his seat. He had a feeling this was going to turn into a fairly extended lunch break, and quietly hoped that no one came looking for him in the meantime.

"All right. Go ahead."

"Have you ever heard of a place and an organisation called the Centre?" Deakins asked quietly. When Ross shook his head, Deakins went on sombrely. "One of its main buildings is located in a little town called Blue Cove, Delaware."

"Was," Mike added coolly, with more than just a hint of satisfaction that drew a suspicious look from Ross. Deakins glanced at Mike in warning before carrying on with the story.

"Terrible experiments were carried out there, and many of them were on children. Many years back, Bobby Goren was handed over to the Centre as a seven year old by his father in exchange for a regular stipend and ongoing care for his wife, who had just suffered her first major psychotic break. He remained in the Centre for approximately five years, until he was smuggled out and eventually returned to his family."

"He told you this himself?" Wheeler wondered with a sceptical frown. Deakins answered with a nod. He understood her scepticism and wasn't offended by it.

"Yes, but I also knew about it because years ago I was a rookie cop in Blue Cove. The woman who got Bobby out had come to me asking for help, though I didn't know what sort of help she needed until she turned up in the middle of the night with Bobby, begging me to help her get him away from the Centre. I drove right through the night to get Bobby out of Blue Cove, to safety here in New York. He was battered and abused, physically, psychologically and emotionally, and he was just twelve years old. Then, three years ago, the Centre came after him again."

"Remember the rumours going around, that crazy Bobby Goren had finally snapped and gone AWOL?" Mike asked, sounding as though he was still angry at the perceived insult to Bobby's integrity. Ross nodded slowly.

"I do remember hearing something like that."

He dared not confess that he had joined in the jokes about Bobby that had swept through the ranks at the time. It had been all too easy, though, to get caught up in the moment, and have a joke about the NYPD's resident kooky cop having finally lost his marbles. Bobby Goren's solve rate would always be respected, but the man's reputation had been nothing more than mud at the time.

"He didn't take off," Alex said flatly, and the tone of her voice made Ross wonder just how aware she was of the vicious rumours that had circulated. "He never had a breakdown. He was abducted by the Centre, right from inside One Police Plaza."

To their credit, neither Ross nor Wheeler laughed. Indeed, both regarded Alex with absolute seriousness, albeit a measure of cynicism.

"From inside One Police Plaza?" Wheeler echoed incredulously. "That place is a fortress when it needs to be. How could a Major Case detective be abducted from there?"

"They had help," Deakins explained before Mike or Alex had a chance to speak. Naming names would benefit no one, and some things were simply better off left alone. "We were caught completely off-guard that day. I was caught off-guard. It was... a very bad day."

"The worst," Alex said, remembering with painful clarity the moment when they'd realised Bobby was gone, taken by his enemies. If someone had told her at that moment that she would have to wait another nine months before seeing him again, she doubted that she would have been able to cope.

"Assuming that's true," Ross said carefully, taking obvious care to keep his expression completely neutral, "then clearly he was either rescued or released."

"Rescued," Deakins clarified. "It took nine months, from the day Bobby was taken, to when we finally got him out. Then, it took another couple of months in seclusion to get him back to a state of mind where he could function on a semi-reasonable level."

"And exactly what did this... Centre want with him?" Wheeler asked.

Deakins, Mike and Alex exchanged brief looks. This was where they wished that Jarod was here to explain or, at the very least, George Huang. They themselves still found it hard, getting their heads around the concept of a Pretender, even this far down the track. Grimacing a little, Deakins did his best to explain.

"The Centre ran a program that they called the Pretender Project. They took children who had been identified at an early age as geniuses, stripped them of their own identities and trained them to become anyone, to do anything. On the surface, the intention was to run scenarios that would help to save and improve lives. It was presented as a beneficial program, but that was a lie. Under that facade, it was all about profiteering. Bobby was one of a number of children who underwent the most unspeakable psychological and, in some instances, physical torments, all for the advancement of the program. The sorts of things they were expected to do... You really need to see to understand."

"Assuming we actually believe you," Ross said. Alex bristled visibly, but Deakins' hand on her shoulder settled her.

"We didn't believe it either, when we first heard the story from Jarod. He's another... escapee from the Centre."

"Are you sure the Centre isn't just a psychiatric hospital?" Wheeler asked dubiously, only to cringe at force of the glare that Alex sent in her direction.

"No, it was not a hospital, not by any stretch of the imagination."

"You keep saying was," Ross interrupted. "Is it no longer there?"

"Well," Deakins mused, "I can't say what might have happened in the few years since we rescued Bobby from there, but hours after we got out, the SEAL team that went in with us blew the place up."

"Blew it up?" Ross echoed. Mike smiled with deep satisfaction.

"That's right. Those SEAL boys levelled the whole fucking place. All that was left when they were done was rubble."

"How many people were killed?" Wheeler asked hoarsely, her mind reeling from the thought of the multiple lives that she imagined must have been lost.

"No one was killed," Alex said defensively, but Deakins coughed heavily, and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. "All right. One person died. Otherwise, everyone got out in time. The intention wasn't to kill anyone, just to put a stop to that damned place, and what they were doing inside of it."

"And to try and give Bobby some peace of mind," Deakins added soberly. "Not that it really achieved that. Bobby knew better than any of us that the Centre was the people, and not the building."

"I'm sorry," Ross said after a long moment of thought. "I just find all this extremely hard to believe. I don't doubt your sincerity, but it just sounds as though you're..."

"Making excuses?" Alex suggested when he hesitated. "Trying to excuse Bobby's behaviour with a ridiculous story that is impossible to corroborate?"

"More or less," Ross conceded. "On the other hand, it would have been easier for you to tell me that his behaviour is a product of his childhood, growing up with a schizophrenic mother and a drunken and then absent father."

"Ironically, you're not far wrong," Deakins pointed out. It was those two factors that played a big part in Bobby being sold to the Centre in the first place."

Ross blinked owlishly as Deakins' words sank in.

"Sold?"

"Yes, Danny. Sold. Bobby's mother was sent to a psychiatric hospital when she suffered her first major psychotic break. Bobby's father was left to deal with two boys, one of whom he had never connected with emotionally. Somehow, I don't know how, Frank Goren Senior found out about the Centre, and he contacted them to find out if they were interested in taking Bobby. They did, and Bobby didn't see his home again for the next five years. According to his friend Lewis, Bobby was a completely different person when he came home. Where before he'd delighted in using his intellect, afterwards he did everything he could to hide his intelligence. He was sad all the time, he suffered from horrific nightmares and he was terrified whenever anyone in authority paid any attention to him."

"And this happened again three years ago?" Ross asked with a frown. "I'm sorry... I just find this whole scenario very hard to believe. How the hell could something that significant happen, and nobody know about it?" He paused, and his expression darkened a little. "Except, there are people who know about it, aren't there?"

"With the exception of Wheeler, yourself, Mulroney and Davage," Alex said, "the entire squad knows the truth about what happened to Bobby three years ago."

"And you're just telling me now," Ross said in a voice that was dangerously and deceptively calm. "Twelve months down the track, after who knows how many clashes, and I am only just finding out about all of this now?"

"Bobby only agreed today to tell you," Mike said, "and before you get pissy about that, you need to realise that even now Bobby struggles to talk about any of it. It was never going to be an easy thing for him to just come out and tell you about his past."

"You need to understand this, Captain Ross," Alex said tensely. She glanced pointedly at Wheeler. "Both of you need to understand. Who Bobby is now is at least partly a product of the mental reconditioning that the Centre put him through, firstly when he was a child and secondly when they abducted him as an adult. He's learning to deal with that, but it's not easy for him. That's why he's continued talking to George Huang on a regular basis, to try and help him work through it all. He didn't want to tell you before now because he was afraid."

"Afraid, Detective?" Ross asked sceptically. Alex stared him down easily, her courage boosted by her determination to support her partner.

"Yes, afraid. He knows what you think of him, of his methods. He knows you think he's a freak."

"I don't..."

"Yeah, you do," Mike cut in. "You came into the squad with that belief. Someone got in your ear first, or you'd heard the rumours about crazy Bobby Goren. I don't know what it was, and I don't really care. The point is, you came into the squad with that attitude, and Bobby reacted to it. That's why you've both done nothing but butt heads since you took over. Bobby decided early on that he didn't want you to know about the Centre, and about him being trained as a Pretender, because you had enough of a negative opinion of him as it was, and he didn't want to give you potential ammunition to kick him out of the squad, and out of the NYPD. He fought to save his career after what those bastards did to him, Captain. He fought like nothing you've ever seen, and you can't hold it against him for not wanting to do anything that might jeopardise it."

Ross answered Mike's words with silence as he thought heavily on what he'd just been told. It made sense – assuming it was true. Everything they'd just told him and Wheeler matched Bobby Goren's psychological state to perfection and, now that Ross thought back on the last twelve months, he recalled getting that unsettling notion on a regular basis that Goren was hiding something from him. Thinking back, Ross had to concede that that previously unsubstantiated suspicion had also played a part in cultivating a hostile attitude towards Goren.

Despite everything, though, Ross found himself struggling to accept what they were telling him. Even with former Major Case captain Jim Deakins there to support the story, Ross couldn't help think that he was being taken for a ride, and that the story was just a furphy to take his attention away from Goren's most recent indiscretion in the Brady case.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, shaking his head. "I want to believe you. I really do, but it just isn't that easy. Do you know how much it seems like I'm being confronted by the Robert Goren cheer squad here? I don't mean to be insulting, but I just can't keep myself from thinking that you're just hoping to take my attention away from Goren's latest... indiscretion."

"We figured you'd probably say something like that," Mike said, sounding far too accepting for Ross's liking. In fact, he sounded so calm and easy that Ross's internal alarm started practically screaming at him that he was about to be blindsided.

"You did, did you?" he asked, bemused.

"Yeah." Mike looked to Deakins. "Did you bring one?"

"I brought two," Deakins confirmed as he lifted a small case onto the table. "One from when he was a child, and one from three years ago."

"What is this?" Ross asked with a deepening frown. "What have you brought?"

"Sim discs," Alex explained. "Every simulation that Bobby was forced to do, every experiment that he was used as a guinea pig for, was recorded by the Centre. When we rescued Bobby, Jarod retrieved the sim discs from the Centre before it was destroyed. We have a selection of sim discs from Bobby's time there as a child, and all the discs from the nine months he was held prisoner by them. I brought two of them with me when I came here today, because we suspected you might need visual evidence to believe what we were telling you."

Ross watched uneasily as Deakins unpacked a portable DVD player, and loaded a plain gold disc into the machine, and hit play.


The Centre,
Blue Cove, Delaware

Bobby sat in the chair, every muscle frozen. He was terrified, and had no compunctions about letting it show. Of all the torments that Raines had visited on him so far, this was by far the worst, especially since he had no idea whether Raines might just be mad enough to carry out the threat that was being implied.

"You agreed to cooperate," Raines rasped. "This is what you used to do, after all. Isn't it?"

"Not like this," Bobby said hoarsely. "Nothing like this."

Raines circled him, and leaned in to stare him down. Bobby dropped his gaze, unwilling to meet Raines' beady, evil gaze.

"We need your help, Bobby. She needs your help. Are you going to let her die, just because you're too scared?"

Bobby shut his eyes. It was a supreme effort to just keep from hyperventilating. Really, it was a miracle that he hadn't pissed himself like a little baby. He still might and, quite honestly, he wasn't sure he cared if he did.

He supposed he would later on, when they inevitably punished him by hosing him down, but right then? Nothing mattered to him except getting the hell out of the chair he was strapped into.

"Just do this pretend," Raines told him in a soothing tone that Bobby mistrusted completely, "and you can go back to your room. It's simple, Bobby. You'll be helping. I promise."

"I don't trust you," Bobby said shakily. "I don't trust your promises. You lie to me, every time. I hate you!"

"I don't need you to like me, Bobby," Raines said in a bored voice. "I need you to cooperate. You said you would, when I told you what it was for."

"You told me I'd be doing a pretend to help find a missing child," Bobby choked out. "You never told me that I'd be strapped into a fucking electric chair to do it!"

Raines was unapologetic.

"It needs to be as realistic as possible. Evans is on death row. He's scheduled to be executed, but he had someone abduct that child. He knows where she is, he's said as much. He's taunting those poor parents. Are you really going to refuse to do this, knowing their six year-old daughter's life is on the line?"

Tears spilled down Bobby's cheeks.

"I said I would. You didn't need to put me into an electric chair to try and force me into it!"

"Realism, Bobby."

"Bullshit!" Bobby exploded. "You're just screwing with my head, like you always do! I don't need to be in this thing, I can do the pretend without it! Get me out of here!"

"What is your problem, Bobby? Do you really think I'd let you be electrocuted?"

"Yes!" Bobby roared. "Yes, I do, because you would! Just for the hell of it, you would. Look me in the eye, and tell me you wouldn't!"

Raines stopped in front of Bobby, and looked him straight in the eye.

"Do the pretend, Bobby, or I will personally push the button, and electrocute you."

Bobby's breath came in laboured gasps as he and Raines stared at each other. Finally, Bobby shut his eyes and rested his head back against the chair.

"Give me a minute."

"Alyssa might not have a minute, Bobby."

"Just give me one fucking minute!" Bobby snarled, but as he spoke, his voice changed, taking on a guttural edge. When he opened his eyes again, there was a distinct glint in them, a permeation of evil. A satisfied smile touched Raines' lips.

"Very good. Tell me about yourself."

Bobby's breathing was still coming in harsh gasps, but it was no longer fear that caused it. Instead, there was a blood lust there would have terrified most people.

"I want blood, pain, death."

"Why?" Raines asked. "Were you abused as a child?"

Bobby's lips twisted in a cruel sneer.

"No. My parents loved me. They were firm, but fair. I was... brought up right. But I like pain. I've always liked pain. My best friend broke his arm when we were eight. I did my best to help him, but his pain gave me so much pleasure. After that, I went looking for it. I got a job as an intern at the hospital when I was old enough, because it was the best place to watch people in pain, in so much pain. I learnt so much about how to cause the most exquisite pain while I worked there."

"Just physical pain?" Raines wondered.

"To start with," Bobby confirmed. "It wasn't until much later that I started to understand how much pain I could inflict with mental and emotional torture. The bliss it gave me, when I learned to combine all three! And children... they had the most beautiful responses. So much better than adults."

"And Alyssa?" Raines asked. Bobby's smile widened.

"I was going to take her when I was caught. I knew how good she'd be. Such a perfect little girl. I was really looking forward to seeing her come apart for me, but I knew they were never going to let me go. But that little girl... I couldn't stop thinking about her, so I had my disciple take her."

"You have a disciple?"

"Oh yes. All messiahs do. She's a little rough around the edges, you know, but she's going to be magnificent. When I'm gone, she'll carry on my work. She might even be better than I am. She's still learning, but there is so much potential."

"Who is your disciple?"

"That's inconsequential."

"You just said she'll be better than you. Now you're saying she's inconsequential."

Bobby laughed. He began to laugh raucously, with more than just a hint of malice.

"What's so funny?" Raines asked. He was starting to be irritated. However, Bobby's laughter only increased in strength, until it was borderline hysterical. Scowling, Raines walked across to a control panel, adjusted a knob and pushed a single black button.

Electricity surged through the chair, causing Bobby to go rigid, and turning his laughter into a scream of pain. It was nowhere near enough to kill him, but certainly enough to temporarily cripple him.

"Son of a bitch," Bobby whispered, blood trickling from his mouth where he'd bitten his tongue.

"You were out of control," Raines said, still unapologetic. "I had no choice. Now, explain."

Bobby struggled to lift his head, but he couldn't. In the end, he gave up trying.

"The disciple isn't the focus. He's just a means to an end. Evans never intended to kill Alyssa. He wants to make her into a carbon copy of himself. The disciple's job is to do that. She's being brainwashed... deconstructed and recreated according to Evans' wishes."

Raines was silent, and when Bobby managed to glance up at him, he was disturbed to see the unholy gleam in the other man's eyes.

"You don't care where she is," he accused. "You never cared. You just wanted to know about Evans, and what he had planned for her. Did you ever intend on trying to find her?"

"We always intended to find her," Raines said with a smirk. "You've just given us a reason not to find her too quickly."

"You evil bastard..." Bobby choked out. "I'll tell Sydney!"

Raines laughed.

"Go ahead, Bobby. Do you really think he'd overlook an opportunity to see a child recreated into a psychopath? It's the perfect opportunity for study. He'll jump at the chance."

"I'm going to kill you," Bobby whispered, hatred filling his features. "One day, I swear to God that I am going to kill you, Raines."

In reply, Raines returned to the control panel, and hit the black button once more, this time sending Bobby crashing into the welcome oblivion of unconsciousness.


"This is for real?" Ross asked softly, once Deakins had turned off the DVD player.

"Unfortunately, very real," Deakins confirmed. "And it's just one of many examples. Danny, we aren't trying to give you a reason to write Bobby off. What we're trying to do is make you understand that despite the hell he'd been through, Bobby survived. He fought his way back and in many ways, he's still fighting. Everything else that's happened this year has just made it that much harder for him, but he's still fighting, and he will continue to fight. Can you understand that?"

Ross sighed.

"Against my better judgement, I think I can." He paused, looking from Deakins, to Alex, to Mike and back to Deakins again. "I need some time to process all of this. Logan, I'll see you back at the squad room in an hour or so. Eames, take the rest of the day and see that Goren is all right. I'll see you tomorrow, and I'll see him again when he feels he's ready to come back to work. Wheeler? Let's go."

"Do you think we did the right thing?" Alex wondered softly as they watched the captain and their fellow detective walk away.

"Yeah, I do," Mike said. "He needed to know. We couldn't expect him to understand Bobby without knowing the truth. It was unreasonable of Bobby to expect that. Personally, I think he took it a whole lot better than we could reasonably expect, too."

"Mike is right," Deakins agreed. "He could have reacted in any number of ways. The fact that he heard us out, and watched the sim disc, is a positive thing. And at any rate, we have one last card to play if he decides that we're just trying to pull a fast one on him."

"George?" Alex asked, and Deakins nodded.

"George. As long as Bobby gives him the okay, he said he's prepared to talk to Ross about Bobby's experiences in the Centre. I don't think we'll need to go that far, though. He watched the sim disc. It's pretty compelling evidence."

"I hope so," Alex sighed. "With all the crap that he's been through already this year, the last thing he needs is the captain deciding that he's a spanner short of a tool kit."

"Do you know if he's talked to Jarod recently?" Deakins asked tentatively. He was slightly wary about mentioning the other Pretender, if only because Alex seemed to be particularly touchy about the fact that there were some things Bobby either would or could only talk to Jarod about. Despite his absolute trust in Alex, she knew full well that there was still much about his time in the Centre that he had yet to share. She'd tried to encourage him, but couldn't break through that final barrier.

"No, not within the last month," Alex answered. "I wish Jarod would contact him, though. He's been having a recurring nightmare, but he won't talk to me about it. All I know is that it revolves around Sydney."

Deakins and Mike exchanged grim looks.

"Sydney," Mike muttered. "That evil son of a bitch. What I wouldn't give to get my hands on him."

"You'd have to get in line," Alex said heatedly. "You know, I think I hate him even more than I hated Raines and Lyle."

"You're not alone," Deakins assured her. "And Bobby's hatred of him is understandable, even if Jarod doesn't want to accept it."

"Bobby trusted Sydney," Alex said. "He trusted Sydney to do whatever he could to protect him, and the bastard hung him out to dry. If he ever shows his face here, I don't know that I'll be able to stop myself from giving him the same treatment that we gave to Raines and Lyle."

"Take it easy, Alex," Deakins urged her. "I know what we resolved where those two were concerned but in the end, we killed them in the process of defending Bobby. They were going to kill him. We all know that Sydney won't try to hurt Bobby. At least, not physically. We'd have no justification for killing him."

Alex snorted derisively.

"That's a matter of opinion."

Deakins shook his head.

"You wouldn't risk throwing your career on something that you would never be able to publically justify, Alex. Not without dragging Bobby through the ringer as well."

"Not to mention outing him publically, and we all know that most people would think he really was nuts. Most folks aren't interested in a truth like the Centre. They can't accept that people could be treated in the way that Bobby was treated. That's why we still have Holocaust deniers in this day and age."

Alex held up her hands defensively.

"Okay, okay! So, maybe I wouldn't kill the son of a bitch, but I guarantee I'll take satisfaction in punching him, at the very least."

Mike chuckled, then, as they prepared to leave.

"Now that's a plan I could get behind."


to be continued...

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