ACADEMIA
Based on the movie "Sherlock Holmes"

Burgled Baubles

I was on the verge of telling him exactly where he could go and what he could to with himself once he got there, when a woman's scream echoed across the dining hall. A matronly woman of about sixty was standing up at her table, shrieking, her hands flapping all about. The feathers in her hair bobbed around as she turned this way and that, obtaining the attention of everyone in the restaurant.

Watson asked rhetorically glancing in her direction, "What the devil is going on?"

Holmes dabbed his mouth with his napkin, then added calmly, "The game is afoot."

Turning to me, his eyes much brighter than I had seen them all evening, he asked, "How do you feel about finding a jewel thief as your first case?"

Holmes rose from his seat, offering me his arm. I sensed that we were 'on the job' and stood up. He was careful not to let our hands touch, but he let me lace my arm through his as we strode over to the woman in distress. I had never been on the arm of any man besides William, and I suddenly felt like a different person, on the arm of a man not my friend or kin. My silk taffeta dress rustled as we made our way to the woman's table. As we approached, I saw a waiter and presumably the restaurant manager rush to her side. She stood surrounded by the two men in addition to one other man I took to be her son, maybe her nephew. He appeared to have the same green eyes she did.

"Are you alright madam? What seems to be the matter?" The restaurant manager seemed to be trying to calm her down, but to no avail.

"They're gone!" She wailed, "My jewels have been stolen! You must do something!"

"Please madam, tell me what has happened and I will do my utmost to assist you." The manager was on the brink of panic.

The younger man urged the restaurateur, "Call someone, Call Scotland Yard! Don't just stand there like an imbecile; my mother's diamonds have been stolen!" So he was her son, I noted as Holmes and I approached the table. The woman eyed us both as we encroached on the circle of men.

"Pardon me, Sherlock Holmes, coming through." Holmes elbowed his way to the front of the group with me by his side. The manager and waiter looked incredulous, but were hesitant to face the woman's wrath, so they let Holmes take over.

The woman was tall, taller than me at me. The feathers in her hair made her appear even taller, the plumes of black and white ostrich feather floating all about. Her quaffed grey hair stood in contrast with her green eyes. Her quite ample bosom was what struck me first; she was showing quite a bit of cleavage for her age. She was dressed in the finest clothes, even I could tell that much. The rich fabric of her black and white dress had shine to it. Whatever jewels had been stolen must have been worth some exorbitant amount.

Her table sat at the outskirts of the circular dining hall, near the pillars that supported the roof. She must have come from the ladies' powder room or somewhere, because she stood with her back to the dark hallway leading to the main entrance. She had not just burst into the dining hall, she had gone to her table, which just so happened to be at the edge of the hall.

I took all of this in as Holmes began, "It appears you have been robbed. May I be of assistance?"

The woman looked at him, then me, and back again. "Are you a constable? If not, how on earth could you assist me?"

"On the contrary madam, I am better than a constable. I am Sherlock Holmes."

"I'm afraid I've never heard of you." She sounded dismissive, as she raised her chin and clasped her hands in front of her, narrowing her eyes at us.

"Well I have heard of you, Lady Sheffield." Of course, Holmes would already know who she was. Holmes knew who everyone was.

She looked at him, only mildly surprised. "Many people know who I am; I have my husband's good name to thank for that. How do you propose to find my stolen jewelry Mr. Holmes?"

"By you hiring me to find the person who stole your jewelry. I assure you, the faster you hire me the quicker we may get on with the case." Holmes raised his pipe to his mouth, puffing on non-existent smoke.

"This is Miss Keaton, my assistant" he added without ceremony. Lady Sheffield studied our faces: Holmes looked capable and he had that aura of brilliance about him, while I looked pale and completely out of my element. Nevertheless, standing next to Holmes gave me strength, and his belief in me, whether real or feigned for this occasion, was enough for me to feel confident to be there next to him.

"All we need to proceed is your acquiescence." She looked at him doubtfully, then appeared to register that he was her best hope. He took her silence as permission.

"How did it happen precisely?"

"I was having dinner here with my son, when I began to feel faint, and retired to the ladies' room. There I lay upon the fainting couch, and an attendant saw to me, when I fainted dead away. When I came to due to the smelling salts administered by the ladies' room attendant, my diamond necklace along with my bracelet were gone. I immediately accused the attendant and had the Housekeeper search her person for them, but nothing was found. The attendant said she left to go get the smelling salts while I was under and that someone must have come into the room and stolen them right from off my neck. It must be someone in this building. I demand the entire servants' quarters be searched and every one working in this establishment questioned."

"I agree." Holmes spun around, facing the restaurant at large. "Everyone, may I have your attention please! There has been a robbery, and you must all be searched."

The restaurant manager said "No!" and tried to shush him. Holmes turned around, unruffled but curious. "You said you wanted everyone in this building searched, is that not so?" He nodded toward Lady Sheffield, who just raised her nose at him.

"Must you be so obnoxious?" The restaurant manager was on his last nerve. "Now then, Lady Sheffield, we will call Scotland Yard immediately."

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH SHSHSHSHSHSHSH

"Where do we begin?" I was curious to see how he went about his investigations. Holmes and I stood at the edge of the dining hall, observing the police officers interview the entire restaurant.

"Follow me," he growled, his pipe in his mouth. We turned to go down the dark hallway behind Lady Sheffield's table where the ladies' powder room was located. The gaslights broke up the darkness every so often, reflecting off the red wallpaper. The eerie lighting lent itself well to the idea of a thief hiding among the shadows. We stopped in front of the door to the women's lavatory and Holmes took this moment to light his pipe. The glow of the match lit up his face for a second. The ladies' room door was in a pool of darkness between two lanterns. It was not impossible that a thief could go unnoticed into or out of the room.

"I suppose I should have a look around. Might you tell me what in particular you are looking for?" I assumed Holmes would wait for me outside the door.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, as he reached forward and turned the door handle.

"Holmes! What are you doing? You can't – " but I was not able to finish admonishing him before he had barged into the women's lavatory. I heard screams, and rushed in behind him.

"Sir, you cannot be in here!" A woman I took to be the attendant was trying to bar him from entering. Screams echoed from every corner, as women came rushing out from behind doors and at least one fainted dead away.

"Pervert! How dare you!" Shouted one aged woman. A younger woman shrieked and immediately ducked behind a folding screen. Holmes ignored them all and stalked over to the fainting couch. Amid the chaos, I made an attempt to quell the situation. "Ladies, if you would, please exit the room. This is a police investigation. We are sorry for the inconvenience."

Holmes walked around, surveying the room, a strangely calm figure amid a flourish of feathers and silk. After the rustling and bustling women had retreated, I turned to question the attendant.

"Excuse me madam, but there has been a robbery, if you were unaware. Lady Sheffield's jewels were stolen while she was unconscious in here. Were you witness to this incident?"

She looked affronted and glowered at me, then at Holmes, his back to us both. "Yes I was here with her. The woman accused me of stealing her diamonds." The woman turned sallow, apparently withholding her true feelings. Her dark eyes sparked with indignation. I tried to keep calm and convince her to do the same.

"My name is Catherine Keaton; I am working as an assistant to Mr. Sherlock Holmes, the detective." I gestured to the offending man standing by the window. "He is investigating the case and any information you could give us would be of the utmost help." I needed to convince her we did not accuse her of the crime. "Could you tell me what happened when Lady Sheffield came in?"

The woman sighed, and her corset creaked as she sat upon the couch. She really was a lovely woman, her dark hair curled and her large dark eyes wide with subdued fear as she looked up at me. She knew what she was in a dangerous situation, with Lady Sheffield accusing her of thievery.

Her dark eyes darted between Holmes and I, seemingly uncertain of how to proceed. I urged her on, "Please madam, we will do anything we can to help you."

She began to speak slowly, and in a small voice, as if afraid of being overheard, "I was the only one in the room, when Lady Sheffield came in. She comes to this restaurant often, and I knew who she was, though I had never directly spoken with her. The manager, Mr. Thorn, discourages me from speaking with the patrons unless specifically addressed. She seemed as though her knees were about to give way, so I helped her to the couch, where she lay down. I went across the room to get a cool cloth to place upon her forehead, but when I reached her, she seemed unconscious. I administered various smelling salts, in an attempt to rouse her, but she did not awaken. I decided I must get something stronger to wake her up, so I exited the room and went down the hall to the cupboard where the supplies are kept. I obtained a stronger degree of salts, and returned to apply them. It took me several minutes, but she finally awoke, only to begin shrieking that I had stolen her jewels."

She took a deep breath, "Suddenly I realized, she was right. She had been wearing the same diamonds she had every time I had seen her when she entered the room, but when I came back from the cupboard, they were missing! I adamantly denied any wrongdoing, but she would hear none of it. Her shouting brought the Head Housekeeper, who proceeded to search my pockets and stockings for any sign of the jewelry."

The attendant swallowed before continuing, as though what she was about to say was unpleasant to her. "When they did not find the jewels, the Housekeeper called in a maid to help search my person. They…they forced me into one of the stalls and insisted that I remove my clothing! I did not know what to do. If I refused, they would surely assume I was guilty, and I preferred to be searched by women on the premises than by constables upon my arrest." She took a shuddering breath, trying to keep calm.

"Of course, they found nothing, and once they told Lady Sheffield that I must be innocent, she stormed out of the room. The housekeeper took the maid with her to report the incident to the Mr. Thorn, and I, still in shock from the entire situation, stayed here in an attempt to collect myself. Other women were on their way in when Lady Sheffield left, so I had to attend to them. I am forbidden to leave my position during the time assigned to me. I decided to wait for the police to come in and arrest me. I knew that if I fled, I would not only lose my position, but it would certainly solidify my guilt in their minds. The hallway is so long that I never heard anything that was going on outside. I assumed Lady Sheffield had called the police and that they were on the way."

I digested everything she had said as I saw Holmes come over and address the woman, without ever looking at her. He seemed consumed with examining the couch she occupied. "How long would you say you were out of the room when you went to the cupboard?"

"About a minute, maybe two. The cupboard closet is at the other end of the hall."

I took the time he was interviewing her to survey the room for myself. The powder room was filled with various chairs and couches, ferns and screens. Only one small window illuminated the dark room, in addition to the few gaslights along the walls. Mirrors lined the wall adjacent to the door. The attendant's cupboard stood in the corner, her collection of towels and soaps set in shelves along the wall. Various perfumes and salts accompanied the expected tools of her trade. I would have described the room as luxurious, yet uninviting. The darkness hardly aided the purpose of the looking glasses.

"You are certain you were the only person in the room when Lady Sheffield entered?" His eyebrows knitted together as he puffed on his pipe, never looking at the attendant.

"I am sure of it, though anything is possible. But I would think, if the thief was hidden in the room, one of the patrons would have noticed him. How could he have known which stall would not be occupied?" She gestured to the wall of doors leading to the bathroom stalls. Indeed, how could a thief know which to occupy, and not be seen?

I interrupted Holmes with a question of my own, "Was the window open at all today? Is it normally kept locked?"

"No, I am forbidden from opening the window no matter how stuffy it gets in here. Mr. Thorn does not want the ladies to get a chill," she said the last part rather ironically.

Holmes straitened up, exhaling smoke. The sweet smell was unlike my grandmother's peppery tobacco, hers always made my eyes water.

"I know you did not steal her jewels." Holmes said this for her benefit, and she looked immediately relieved. I had not thought her guilty either, but I was not the deductive genius Holmes was. I walked over to look out the window, and noticed that a man could possibly climb inside, though it would probably make quite a racket, with the window and the heavy drapes in his way. I looked behind the drapes, a man could have hidden behind them, although there was no guarantee he would not be discovered.

Before I could take a better look around the room, Holmes called to me, "Come along." He briefly turned to the attendant, "I shall inform the police of your innocence. Good day."

I was slightly taken aback, though I knew there must be a method to Holmes' madness. Instead of immediately going to him, I pretended it was a suggestion rather than a command. "Very well. Thank you for your help, Mrs…?"

"Mrs. Hanson. Virginia Hanson." She nodded at me, visibly relieved. I followed Holmes out the door. He strode quickly further down the hall to investigate the storage cupboard. He did not seem to find anything amiss, though I was hardly one to be able to tell, and we walked back toward the main dining hall. The darkness of the hallway seemed strangely intimate as I whispered to him, "So, what do you think? Any ideas?"

"Just one," was his curt answer. I knew he would elaborate when he was ready; he was never one to give up an opportunity to regale me with his methods.

As we reached the dining hall, we saw Inspector Lestrade and Officer Clark walking towards us, on their way to interview Mrs. Hanson.

"Don't bother. She didn't do it," was all Holmes said. The men stopped short, and Inspector Lestrade stood with his mouth slightly ajar.

"Holmes – "

"Feel free if you wish to waste your time. I would be disappointed if you didn't."

We passed the two men, and Holmes strode right past Lady Sheffield and the officers surrounding her. I did not know if I should say anything, so I simply nodded toward her and followed Holmes back toward our table. Lady Sheffield eyed us both, but did not stop us. She stood with her son, a handsome blonde man, and two other officers. I did not understand why Holmes did not at least tell her that Mrs. Hanson was innocent.

As we approached our table with our now very cold dinner, Watson and Mary turned to us, breaking their conversation.

"What's the trouble Holmes, solve the case already?" Watson spoke with a tone that suggested he was not being very sarcastic. Had Holmes really solved cases that quickly before?

"Is John right Mr. Holmes? Have you already solved the case?" Mary's dove grey eyes sparkled with disbelief.

"There really was no case to solve. The woman 'stole' her own jewels. The real mystery is why, and that is what I intend to find out."

Author's Note: I'm not totally sold with this one, but it's been a busy couple of weeks. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, graduate school and work have begun. Thank you for being patient. I would like to update at least every other week from now on. Let me know what you think. Are they in character? Are you intrigued? I would advise readers to follow the story so you don't have to keep checking back all the time. Have a great week!

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