WHAT NEVER SHOULD BE: THE PHYSICIAN'S TALE

It took them another twenty-five minutes to get back to the Hub, but which time Ianto had changed his clothes and disposed of the ruined suit. When they finally walked back through the cog door, it was to find not only Toshiko waiting for them, but Jack as well.

Ianto's stomach churned. He didn't think he'd seen Jack looking so angry since their final confrontation with Fischer. He opened his mouth to speak -- although Lord only knew what he was going to say -- but Jack cut him off short.

"Don't," Jack snapped, glaring furiously at Ianto. "Don't you say a word, Ianto. Don't you dare. Nothing you say could possibly excuse you doing such a bloody stupid, reckless thing!" He shook his head violently, struggling to find adequate words. "I don't get it. How could you... How could either of you be so dumb? You saw what they did to me, and yet you went and put yourselves at risk! Tell me, please, why? Why would you take such a stupid chance?"

"For you," Ianto said softly, simply. Jack stared at him incredulously.

"You could have been killed, Ianto. How would that have done me any good?"

"They were Clyreney, Jack, and they had no regard for the Shadow Proclamation. They just laughed when I brought it up. Now you tell me, what do you think they would have done with you if they'd found out that you're immortal?"

Jack paled a little as a number of possibilities occurred to him, each one less pleasant than the other.

"Exactly," Ianto confirmed. "We weren't trying to be gung-ho. We just wanted to protect you, and I will not apologise for that."

Jack swallowed convulsively as his mind warred with his emotions, and finally his expression hardened and he pointed threateningly from Ianto to Owen.

"If either of you ever takes a risk like that again," he told them in a low, angry voice, "and I'll suspend you for a month."

He stalked away back to his office without giving either Ianto or Owen a chance to reply.

"Testy bastard," Owen grumbled sourly. "Could've at least said thankyou."

Tosh rounded on him, angry and incredulous.

"For what? Nearly getting yourselves killed?"

"Tosh..." Ianto started to say, but she cut him off short.

"No, Ianto. I'm with Jack on this. You did a really stupid thing, and I'm betting you had a lot closer call than you're admitting to."

Discomfort flickered across Ianto's face, and his hands went down to his hips in an instinctive defensive pose.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Tosh's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You changed your suit, Ianto. There was no reason for you to do that before coming back here unless there was something you didn't want Jack to see. I know you always keep a spare suit here for emergencies."

For just a moment, Ianto did a magnificent impression of a guppy fish. By the time he'd recovered his composure, it was too late. The look on Tosh's face told both men that she knew at least the basics of what had happened.

"Your comms weren't receiving at your end," she told them in a low voice, "but they were still transmitting up until about twenty minutes before you called me on Owen's phone, even though it was fairly patchy reception at this end." She turned her piercing stare onto Ianto. "You were badly hurt. Don't deny it, Ianto. I heard Owen talking to you, trying to keep you conscious. How bad was it?"

Ianto said nothing, and so she turned her focus onto Owen, who cringed under the sudden scrutiny.

"How bad was it? I want the truth, Owen. I lied to Jack for both of you, and stopped him from chasing after you, so don't you dare lie to me. Now, how bad was it?"

With an apologetic shrug in Ianto's direction, Owen answered Tosh meekly.

"He had a laser burn across his stomach and side, and one of those bloody arrows tore his leg open, clean through to the bone. So yeah. It was bad."

"But you aren't even limping," Tosh said in confusion. Reaching out, she pulled Ianto's shirt up out of his trousers and lifted it to examine the pale, unblemished flesh beneath. She was just touching her fingertips to his stomach when Ianto let out an embarrassed cough.

"You know, if Jack sees us now, he's either going to be incredibly jealous or seriously pissed that he wasn't invited to join us."

Tosh yanked her hand back as though she'd been burned, and a bright red flush spread quickly over her face.

"I'm fine, really," Ianto went on quietly as he tucked his shirt back in. "I don't understand how, but I am okay. Let's just leave it at that."

Owen shot him a look at that, and Ianto carefully ignored him.

"I'm going to go and talk to Jack. Why don't the two of you go and get lunch? Take your time."

"All right," Tosh conceded, although she didn't look the least bit satisfied. "We'll bring something back for you and Jack."

Ianto nodded in acquiescence.

"Thanks. Oh, by the way. Be careful when you leave. There was a local PC snooping around the tourist entrance earlier. She saw you and Jack when you arrived back in the Plass, Tosh."

"Bugger," Tosh muttered. "We were aiming for inside the Hub, but Jack wouldn't let me touch it, and he was already injured..."

"It's all right," Ianto reassured her. "Just keep an eye out when you come and go, at least for the time being."

"Hang on," Owen growled as he and Tosh turned towards the cog door. "Jack wouldn't let you touch what, exactly?"

Ianto smirked to himself, and as he headed for Jack's office, the last thing he heard as Tosh and Owen exited the Hub was Tosh explaining to Owen about Jack's vortex manipulator.

Ianto entered Jack's office cautiously, and wasn't sure whether or not to be surprised that Jack wasn't at his desk. Then, he noticed two things. The hatch leading to the bunker beneath Jack's office was open, and the toy dog was gone from his desk. Sighing, Ianto stepped over to the open hatchway and looked in. Sure enough, Jack was there. He lay on the makeshift bed at the bottom, curled up with his face buried in a small, thin pillow.

When they'd first taken control of the Hub, Jack had decided to turn the bunker into something useful, and had gotten Ianto to buy a bed to set up down there. For sleeping and fucking, Jack had declared shamelessly. Ianto might have been less bothered by the statement, had it not been made in the middle of Ianto's preferred choice of bedding store.

A bed had eventually been found to suit the bunker, but it had proven to be a white elephant. Jack had used it just once, and had ended up having a massive panic attack that was triggered by the confined space.

It surprised Ianto, therefore, that Jack was down there now. He climbed down, taking care not to step on anything sensitive, and sat awkwardly on the edge of the narrow bed.

If he hadn't known any better, he might have thought that Jack was asleep. His practised eye, however, caught the tiniest telltale tremors through Jack's body. In that moment, it occurred to Ianto just how badly he had frightened Jack, and his heart broke for his Captain.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I really didn't intend to scare you like this. I just wanted to deal with the aliens before they found out about you."

He stroked his hand gently over Jack's arm, and was grateful and relieved when Jack didn't try to pull away from him.

"When I woke up," Jack said in a stuttered whisper, "and Tosh said you and Owen were gone... She wouldn't tell me where, but I knew. I knew where you'd gone, and then she said your comms were down, and I thought..."

He rolled over abruptly, nearly sending Ianto sprawling.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Ianto smiled fondly, silently noting that Jack's toy dog was, indeed, clutched in his hands.

"You have no reason to be sorry. Now, what were you going to say?"

"I thought you were dead," Jack admitted miserably. "Tosh wouldn't tell me anything, and I thought it was because you were dead. And then I started thinking about how I was going to cope without you and I... I couldn't. I couldn't think about it. I got scared. I got so scared..."

Ianto kicked his shoes off and lay down next to Jack, allowing his lover to wrap him up in a huge bear hug.

"I am so sorry that you had to think that, even for a second, but I'm okay. I really am. See for yourself."

In the next instant, Ianto grunted as Jack twisted around lithely so that he was crouching over the top of him, with an almost predatory look on his face. Hands began to move feverishly over Ianto's body, systematically removing one article of clothing after another until the Welshman was naked.

There was no groping or grabbing, though, despite the sense of urgency that Jack was displaying, and Ianto had to bite his lip to keep from moaning in pleasure when Jack's hands felt anxiously below his waist for potential hidden wounds.

Right at that moment, there was nothing sexual in Jack's touches, and the last thing Ianto wanted to do was to cheapen Jack's concern by sexualising the situation.

"Satisfied?" Ianto asked, possibly more breathlessly than he would have preferred, when Jack's hands finally stilled. Jack leaned back a little, still frowning.

"No. What happened to your suit?" He pointed accusingly to the suit that had been abandoned to the floor. "That's a different suit to the one you had on this morning. If you weren't hurt, then why did you change your suit?"

For a split second, Ianto's brain stuttered. He'd deliberately put on a suit that was as close as possible in appearance to the ruined one. He hadn't been surprised that Tosh had noticed he was wearing a different suit, but he honestly hadn't expected Jack to be so observant -- not when he was probably still suffering the lingering after-effects of his latest traumatic death.

In the brief instant that it took Ianto's mind to process Jack's words and come up with an adequate response, Jack's suspicions returned with a vengeance.

"Ianto? What happened to your suit?"

"It had blood on it," Ianto admitted, deciding to stick to half truths. "A lot of blood. It all belonged to the aliens, but it didn't matter. The suit was ruined. I wanted to get cleaned up and changed as quickly as possible, and we were closer to home than the Hub... I suppose that in the end I just wanted to save you from the panic of seeing me like that."

"Right," Jack agreed with more than a hint of scepticism in his voice. "Because I felt so much better not knowing where the hell you were!"

Ianto winced and made a conscious effort not to react to Jack's anger. As tempting as it was to respond in kind, Ianto had to remind himself that Jack was right, and his anger was justified. No matter what his intentions had been, he had still put himself, and Owen, at grave risk. He only prayed that Jack never found out just how close he'd really come to losing his Ianto that day.

"I am so sorry, Jack. I never wanted to frighten you like that. Forgive me?"

Jack sighed, and Ianto watched him deflate right before his eyes.

"You scared me," Jack whispered shakily. "You scared me so badly, Yan. I don't ever want to feel that scared again."

The lingering fear in his lover's eyes was too much, so Ianto did the only thing he could think of. Pushing up off the bed, he wrapped his arms around Jack's body and claimed his lips in a fierce kiss. Jack responded with equal fervour, and when he pushed Ianto back down and pinned him to the bed, the Welshman didn't object. If letting Jack take control in this way comforted him then so be it, and with a sigh, he surrendered himself to his lover.

A while later, they lay sated in each other's arms. Hands stroked lazily over bodies in purely comforting gestures.

"You're really okay," Jack whispered, as though he hadn't completely believed it until that very moment. Ianto peered up at Jack in the dim light of the bunker, and noted a telling wetness in the other man's eyes.

"I really am."

There, in the sanctuary of the Hub, Ianto found it disturbingly easy to disregard what had happened. Instinct warned that he would not be able to keep it from Jack forever, and that he ought to tell him sooner rather than later. Not now, though, Ianto decided. Not here.

"So, whose idea was it?" Jack asked finally.

"Mine. I talked Owen into it."

Jack snorted softly.

"What did you blackmail him with?"

"I didn't need to blackmail him, or bribe him. When I explained the situation to him, he went with me willingly. He's a good man, Jack. I know I was against hiring him to begin with, but you made a good choice."

"Thankyou," Jack murmured. He paused, and then added, "You still should have waited."

"For what, Jack?" Ianto asked. "For them to start hunting indiscriminately? You know they would have eventually found their way into Cardiff, and then we would really have had a problem. I'm not sure that even the Doctor could have helped. They knew Earth is a class five, out-of-bounds planet, and they didn't care. They just laughed when I threatened them with the Shadow Proclamation. There really was no other choice."

Jack regarded Ianto critically.

"What are you trying to justify? That you went after them in the first place, or that you had to kill them?"

Again, Ianto froze at Jack's amazingly accurate perception again caught him off-guard. Tears stung his eyes as the reality of it all finally hit -- from witnessing Jack suffer yet another horrific death, to his own terrifying brush with his apparently questionable mortality. He shuddered violently, and clutched tightly at Jack.

"It's okay," Jack whispered, holding Ianto to him protectively. "I'm sorry. It's okay."

Ianto pressed his face into Jack's shoulder.

"I didn't want to kill them. I just wanted to move them on. Get them off the planet."

"What happened?" Jack asked quietly. "Tell me, Yan."

"Do you promise not to get over-wrought if I do?"

Jack snorted.

"We just had awesome sex. I'm as relaxed as I can hope to be, given that I died slowly and painfully just a few hours ago. If you've got something to tell me, then now really is the best time."

Briefly, Ianto wondered whether Jack knew more about what had really happened than he was letting on, only to dismiss the thought.

"I went in... Yes, fully armed. I'm not a complete idiot."

Jack grunted and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'debatable'. Ianto chose to ignore him.

"I sent Owen around to come in from another entrance, to try and give ourselves as much of an advantage as possible. Then I walked in and told them that they'd killed my mate, and that I demanded the right of vengeance."

Jack's hands stilled on his body, and Ianto wondered if he'd somehow said or done something wrong.

"You... told them I was your mate?"

"Well, I think my exact words were more along the lines of me being mated to you, but yeah. I did. Why? Is something wrong? Should I not have done it?"

"It's fine," Jack whispered in a voice that was suddenly full of emotion. "It's just, the Clyreney are one of the few races out there that are as backwards as twenty-first century humans. They don't recognise same sex partners. They've put people to death for it."

Ianto had a brief moment of panic before he remembered that the aliens would have killed him regardless. With that thought in mind, he pressed a lingering kiss to Jack's throat.

"Even if I'd known, I still would have told them."

Jack sighed and finally relaxed beside Ianto.

"You're my hero, Yan," he murmured. Ianto chuckled ruefully.

"Hardly, cariad."

"You are. Look at how many times you've saved me."

Ianto reached up and ran his fingers through Jack's hair. He grimaced at the greasy feel of it.

"You need a bath, love. In fact, I think we both do."

"Mm," Jack sighed. "Bubble bath for two. We can wash each other."

"Only you could make that sound lewd," Ianto said with a chuckle. He fell quiet then, lost briefly in his own memories until Jack drew him back to the present with a kiss.

"What are you thinking, Yan?"

"About the first time I gave you a bath," Ianto admitted. He half expected a psychological retreat from Jack at the reminder of his time in captivity, but instead Jack smiled sadly.

"I remember that. I was so frightened of everything... I thought you were just taking me to be experimented on again. But you showed me that I didn't have to be frightened. You know, that was when I really started to trust you?"

"Really?" Ianto asked in surprise. That was news to him. He had always assumed that Jack had come to trust him well before then.

"Yeah," Jack confirmed. "You left me unattended while you got in the bath. For all you knew, I might have tried to run... or even take advantage and try to hurt you, but you trusted me not to do the wrong thing. And you proved to me once and for all that day that you weren't going to hurt me. Up until then, I still wasn't a hundred percent sure about you, but that clinched it for me."

"I would never have hurt you," Ianto assured him. "I'm just glad you realised that sooner rather than later."

Jack's hold on him tightened a little.

"I love you so much, Yan. Don't ever take another chance like you did today. I couldn't bear it if I lost you."

Ianto didn't bother to remind Jack that one day they would inevitably be parted. He knew it wasn't necessary. Instead, he settled in against Jack and let the exhaustion of the day's events finally start to over come him.

"You won't lose me, Jack," he mumbled. "Not for a long time yet. I promise."

Ianto felt more than heard Jack's responding sigh as the older man finally let sleep take him. With a smile, he let himself follow.

to be continued...

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