YEAR OF THE CAT
A/N: I apologize very muchly to those who have been following. However, after that miniseries that was more worthy of the X-Files, I was a little broken in writing. Rest assured, we are out of that bug now. So, onward and upward I say! "Good morning," Ianto rolled over to find Jack staring at him. "How did you sleep?" "That was sleep?" Ianto asked, trying to pull the blankets over his face. "That was never sleep. What's that?" Jack held up Ianto's familiar cup with the butler on it and grinned from ear to ear. "It's coffee. Not nearly as good as yours but I guarantee that it's drinkable." Ianto took the offered mug and looked skeptically into it. There, floating right in the middle, was a lone Jelly Baby. "Uh, Jack?" "Yes?" Jack was still grinning broadly. Ianto peered into the mug and pointed carefully. "What is that?" Jack looked into the mug of coffee as if he'd not seen it until this moment. "That?" Ianto nodded. "That's your coffee." "Right." Ianto agreed with a slow nod. "But what is that in it?" Jack pointed at the object floating in the middle of the mug. "A Jelly Baby." "A Jelly Baby?" Ianto poked it, watching it bob under the liquid and back up again. Jack beamed at his inventiveness. "Yes." "Erm, Jack?" "Yes, my handsome Welshman?" Ianto prodded the sweet again, taking an odd pleasure in watching it disappear into the darkness and back out again. "Perhaps you would like to elaborate as to why there is a Jelly Baby in my coffee?" Jack shrugged as if there was only one answer to that and it was obvious to all but Ianto. "We were out of sugar." "We were out of sugar?" "Yes," Jack shook his head, confused that Ianto couldn't grasp such a simple concept. "And...being out of sugar..." Ianto struggled to figure it out on his own, but it escaped him. "And being out of sugar, I had to think of something to substitute. I was looking all over for some packets that I may have shoved in my pockets at some point, but found nothing. I was looking all over and then I got ran into the Jelly Babies that we got last night. I popped a few," Jack looked up and saw Ianto watching him. Misreading the look, Jack continued, "Okay, maybe most of the bag...but, this little guy," Jack poked at the Jelly Baby himself, "he got to go for a swim." "I'm not drinking this." Ianto set it on the bedside table. Jack put on a pout. "Come on, you have to give me credit, at least." Ianto sighed and fell back on the bed again. "I give you credit." "Thank you." Jack picked up the cup and held it high before knocking the whole thing back with a gulp. He made a face, sticking out his tongue. "You were right. It was worse than bad." Ianto closed his eyes and smiled. "I tried to warn you." He opened his eyes once more and looked up at Jack, quiet for a moment, looking at him from a different angle. He could see the underside of Jack's chin, the dark hairs starting to poke through the skin in a way that made the Welshman want to rub his own face against it. And the way Jack was looking back down at him, his eyes doing that dangerous twinkle that usually preceded the older man doing something that was totally and completely unpredictable. "Jack, how is this going to work?" "Well, I'm thinking that you're going to have to get up and make coffee. Sorry about that, I was trying to help." Jack sighed and sat back against the headboard. Ianto frowned at him. "Not what I meant. I meant with us going off to that meeting. And Gwen watching Henry. How can she be in two places at once?" Jack put a hand to his chin in thought. "Didn't think that one through, did I?" He caught Ianto looking at him in a way that usually meant he was one step from the look. "Oh, come on, Yan, you think I would leave the Rift unmonitored?" "Yes." "That's unfair." "You've done it before." "UNIT is sending in a team. We should be well covered. And Gwen can help them if they need it." Ianto's eyes suddenly opened wide. "A team? UNIT is sending in a team?" "Um-hmm. It's only fair; they're taking most of our team..." Jack shrugged. Ianto dragged himself from under the covers and stood to shuffle off to the bathroom. "Then you are just going to have to stay here." Jack was suddenly rigid with panic. "With Henry?" "Yes, Jack, with Henry. Problems? Concerns?" Jack's shoulders fell. "None." Ianto rubbed his head, messing up the 'just-rolled out of bed' look that Jack found incredibly sexy. "It shouldn't be that bad. I had a few things that needed to be done today, maybe you could occupy Henry and do those at the same time?" "Sure, I guess." Jack sighed, crossing his arms on his chest. "But I have to drive your car, don't I?" Ianto looked at him like he was crazy. "Jesus, Jack, I don't want to even think about what a toddler would do to the SUV." He turned to go into the bathroom and popped back out. "Though, it couldn't be much worse than what you have done in the past..." "Not fair!" Jack called as Ianto retreated. "I didn't mean to spill the red wine!" "One wonders," Ianto called back, "What you were doing with red wine in the SUV in the first place." "I told you..." "Mmm-hmmm." Ianto shot him a dubious look. "Get dressed. You have a long day ahead of you. I have to shave." "Yan, can't we just take Henry in with us and you can tidy up a bit?" Jack slumped against the wall now, a bit of a whine in his voice. Ianto sighed. "Jack, we already talked about this." He talked slowly. "We can't take someone into the Hub who manufactures their own sauce." "Fine." Jack sighed out, going to the wardrobe. "AND I get to wear my suit!" Ianto's tone was one of glee. Jack reached in and got out his usual attire. "Yay." "Come on, Jack, you owe me this. Besides, I'll leave the cigarettes." "Yeah?" "Yes." "Okay then. Where is your list?" "On the table near the key bowl. And are you really wearing that?" Ianto turned on the sink and put his razor under the running water. "What's wrong with what I have on?" He popped his braces up onto his shoulders. "I wear this everyday. Why would today be different?" Ianto nodded with a knowing smile on his face. "Oh, no reason. Can you get Henry dressed when he gets up?" "Can't he just wear pajamas?" Jack fastened his belt buckle as he spoke. "No," Ianto scolded, lathering his face as he spoke. "He has plenty of suitable clothes – use them." "Okay," Jack started out the door but turned when he reached the hallway. "A quick question." Ianto looked up at Jack, shaving cream still half-on his face. "Where do we keep his clothes?" "In his room," Ianto answered. When Jack stood still looking at him, he continued. "In the wardrobe." Jack nodded in affirmation and opened the door to the toddler's room a crack to see if he was still sleeping. Seeing that he was, Jack slipped in as quietly as he could and opened the wardrobe door without letting it squeak. He rummaged around as quietly as he could before giving up and going back to the room he and Ianto shared. "Did you find something?" Ianto was finishing up shaving and had started the shower. "Can't we just put him in a jumpsuit?" Jack sat heavily on the bed before falling back, his arms outstretched. "It works for Weevils..." Ianto climbed under the spray and gave Jack his answer as the water showered down. "Except? How many child sized weevils have been found, Jack? Do you really think you have a jumpsuit that will fit?" "Why do you have to make this so hard?" Jack growled to himself and put a pillow over his face. "Jack, when I get done here, I will go and get him something to wear. You go and...well. You could...go turn on the television and relax. It may be your only time today." **--**--** Ianto came out of the bedroom, fussing with the knot of his tie. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that he hadn't worn one recently or if they were merely getting overused during recreational activities. "Okay, so, the list is on the table. And, please, Jack, don't get anything that isn't on the list." "Why would you say that?" Jack looked hurt for a moment, slipping bread in the toaster and going to stand in front of Ianto. "Your tie looks weird." "It's the knot, it feels wrong." Ianto admitted tugging on it again. "Let me try." Jack pushed his hands away and untied it before starting again. "Here's the problem – there's a tiny catch in the fabric here." Jack pointed to a weakened spot on the grayish-silver material. "And I like this one!" Ianto grinned. "I know." He looked down at Jack's hands as they swiftly redid the tie in a more comfortable way. "Much better. How do I look?" "Like you are lucky I am on kid duty today or we wouldn't be leaving the flat..." Jack heard the toaster pop up and went to finish it. Ianto smiled satisfied. "But it does feel good to be back in the suit. I just wish I weren't so tired..." Jack looked up from where he was buttering toast. "You want me to make you a proper cup of coffee?" Ianto looked hastily at his watch, trying to think of a nice way to tell Jack that what he made was not 'proper coffee' but, rather, 'swill'. "Uh, running a bit late here, I can get something when I get there." He leaned to kiss Jack quickly before reaching out to take the toast he held. "This, however, I will take. Have a good day!" The Welshman dashed out the door, leaving Jack to watch where he had been. **--**--** Ianto hurried on his way to the Hub. It wasn't very far and he thought the fresh air might do him some good. At any rate, it would give him more 'alone time'. He had just rounded the corner when he heard someone call out. Looking up, he saw Hannah running across the playground towards him, her mother in pursuit. Hmmm...too bad she has a kid – she'd be great with Torchwood... "Sir!" Sarah called to the man who grabbed for the toddler as she tried to get past him to follow the ball that was going into the road. "Oh, thank God, it's you, Ianto..." Ianto smiled and pushed her lightly to her mother. "No problem. Was just on my way into work. Guess I was in the right place at the right time." She smiled. "Must have." She looked at what he was wearing. "Nice suit; you clean up well. I thought as much." Ianto felt the heat rising to his face and let out a nervous laugh. "Thank you." There was an awkward silence as they thought what else to say to one another. Ianto stared down at his feet while Sarah busied herself with fixing her daughter's hair. "You said you were going into work?" She asked at last, looking back up. Ianto nodded. "So, does that mean you got Henry into that daycare?" "Actually, Henry's at home today – with Jack." Ianto met her eyes with his. "And if he and Jack should come out and you see them, would you mind keeping a half-eye on Jack. Can't have Henry wandering off while he's charming someone now..." Sarah was confused. "And Jack would be your..." Ianto smiled. "Yeah, he is..." "Oh, then Margot owes me five pounds." Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I told her that men like you can't be ...well...anyway..." "Yeah..." Ianto pursed his lips and looked away. The sides of her mouth curved up in the silence that followed. "So, you still owe me that coffee, you know..." Ianto nodded, glad that the subject had been changed; it was hard enough to explain their relationship to himself. "I remember." "Good." Sarah looked down at her daughter again. Ianto took a business card from his pocket and handed it to the woman. "This is my extension. Call me there's trouble." "You work for the Welsh Tourism Board?" Ianto nodded – he hated to come right out with a lie. "Let's let Ianto get to work, Hannah." The little girl grinned up at him and she gave a little wave before turning and running back to the play equipment. "Just so you know - Margot owes me another fiver. She said I couldn't get your number." Thinking it may be safer to take the bus in, Ianto crossed the street to the stop. **--**--** Jack pulled out his pocket knife to free the toddler from the mass of duct tape he had used to secure him into the seat when the actual strapping system failed him. Henry giggled and clapped as Jack easily cut through layers and folded the knife back into the pocket of the greatcoat. "Let's see what's on the list, Tic," Jack said, placing him in a cart. "Milk, sugar, corn – man, this list is boring...ooo! Jelly Babies!" Henry smiled past Jack at a woman entering the store, earning a smile for the both of them in return. "What's this?" Jack tore his eyes away. "Not three kinds of sugar cereal, that's for damn sure – that's hardly fair. And we should get gum for Toe, so he can kick that nasty smoking habit...maybe some hard candy..." Jack caught Henry's eyes straying to another young woman, who in turned smiled at the boy and winked at Jack. "Interesting..." They had been wandering the aisles filling the list request when Jack came to the frozen food. Scooping up a frozen lasagna that was on the list, he noticed that the corn on the list was on sale. Only, Jack knew that Ianto usually got a smaller bag. Missing his boyfriend's voice was enough reason for the man to decide to call and check. After all, he didn't want a pissed off Welshman on his hands. Jack flipped open his phone and first tried Ianto's cell. There was a brief noise that could have signaled an answer if not for the wet 'plop' that followed. Jack was cut off. Shrugging, he tried the comm number. **--**--** Ianto felt more than heard the phone ring in his pocket. He supposed he had forgotten to change it back from the vibration setting he kept it on at home in case Henry should be asleep when it rang. Ever since Jack had downloaded custom ring tones for it, he had only turned it on 'ring' when the other man was around to hear it so he wouldn't be offended by the fact that Ianto found the selection appalling. Cradling the phone between his cheek and shoulder, he went about the task of scrubbing the coffee machine. It looked to him like it had been used to make massive amounts of sludge without the courtesy of even attempting to clean it. It made him ache all the more to get back to this full time. "Hell-" Ianto spoke into the cell before it slipped a bit on the fabric of his suit. He shifted a bit to get it back and place and tried again. "He-" This time though, it slipped down the length of his arm and, before he could stop it, it landed with a wet 'plop' in the milk pitcher, which currently held super-steamed water in an attempt to purge it from the horror he had found in it - something that resembled the bastard step-child of yogurt and cottage cheese. He sighed and went to push it aside when he was struck with a sudden and horrible thought – what if it had been Sarah and she was calling him about something with Henry? What if the boy was hurt? Without another thought, he plunged his fingers into the pitcher after the phone. And promptly burned his fingers. Ianto cursed as he sucked on his fingers, alternately wanting to kick the machine and throw the pitcher, contents included at the wall. He settled for dropping the thing in the trash and mumbling. "What was that racket?" Gwen rushed into the room, still taking off her coat. "I need a new phone," Ianto said around his fingers. "Do you think you could go and get me one?" He put on his best puppy-dog eyes. She shrugged her coat back on and shouldered her purse. "Anything else while I'm out?" "No," Ianto shook his head, then gestured to the trash. "You'll want to get the same kind." "Well, where is it then?" Gwen was growing impatient and began to tap her foot a bit. "Over there." He motioned toward the bin with the hand he hadn't just injured. "Ianto," Gwen clucked as she bent to get the dripping phone. "Do you at least have something I can put this in?" He tossed her a towel that he had over his shoulder without looking as he mumbled. "I swear that pitcher wasn't left there. I never leave the pitcher on that side..." He reached for the towel, only to remember he had given it to Gwen. "Steam on the left, phone on the right...WHY WAS MY PITCHER ON THE RIGHT!?!" Gwen was already gone by the time Ianto's mumbles had gotten to the point of shouting. That left Martha as the only one to answer. "I...uh...wanted a drink. Sorry 'bout that." "You used this machine?" Ianto's eyebrow twitched a bit. "Yes." Martha came into view. "Are you mad?" Ianto leaned casually, one hand on the machine. "How do you make the steamer work?" "You turn that thing?" Martha smiled as charmingly as she could. He shook his head bemused. "You didn't do this. Tell me the truth. Was it Jack?" "Noooo...." "Well I'm assuming it wasn't Janet or Myfanwy, so that leaves...Gwen?" "Uh...." "Since when is Gwen picky enough about her coffee to try and make her own? She usually just grabs whatever on her way in. Why would she start now?" "She was very thirsty. And busy." She watched as Ianto's eyebrow crept into position. "Too busy to go out." "There's perfectly good coffee practically next door." "I'll remember to tell her that next time." "...And when I say perfectly good I of course mean not as good as mine, but still acceptable..." Ianto was cut off by the 'chirp chirp' of the comms unit in his ear. He pointed at Martha as he tapped it to answer. "We'll finish this later...Hello?" His ear was flooded with the familiar voice. "Ianto, when you say to get things on the list - what if the size you want isn't on sale, but the bigger one is and it costs less?" Ianto's shoulders fell back to relaxation. "Just go ahead and get it." He looked around for another towel. "Wait. How much bigger?" "Double the size - do we use that much corn?" "Are you looking at frozen or canned?" "Frozen. Henry, don't." "Just get it, you don't have to use the whole bag all at once. And what is Henry doing? You didn't let him grab anything did you? Don't let him lick the shelves!" Martha stood by, stifling a giggle at how normal this conversation sounded. Jack chuckled. "Relax, he's not licking shelves - he's in the cart. Pulling on buttons I asked him not to." "Buttons? What buttons?" "The ones on my coat." Jack dismissed. "...and what is this on the list about-" "Don't let him at the top button, I've been meaning to attach it better." "Too late - Henry, spit. Gross. He really does manufacture his own sauce!" "Is he okay? Is he choking?!" Ianto ran his hands through his hair. "I should have taken care of that last night...JACK, TALK TO ME!" Martha couldn't help but listen closer in case she was needed. "Is Henry okay?" "He's fine. Geez." Martha and Ianto let out a breath together. "Okay. Don't scare me like that!" "Ianto, he spit it into my hand - that was ick. Oh, man, what's that...ewww." Jack's tone was suddenly serious. "I think Henry is rotting." "First: Henry isn't rotting." Ianto rolled his eyes, making Martha laugh again. "Second; put the button in your inside pocket, I'll take care of it tomorrow." "Really? My pocket? Hmm...so I should take it out of my mouth then?"Jack grinned. "Are you sure he's not rotting? You aren't here to smell that." "Of course he's not rotting. You probably just need to change him. He's only mostly toilet trained you know. You did remember diapers didn't you?" "Uh...Tic, you want to go see Toe?" Ianto sighed. "Aisle 6. Easy Up Pants. Size 4. Don't forget the wipes. He is not coming into the Hub. Not all sauced up like that. Check out with what you have, change him and then finish the list." "Then can we come see you? I think he'd get a kick out of Janet." Ianto rubbed his face. "Please tell me you're kidding." Jack laughed deep in his throat. "What? Kids love monsters." "Monsters love kids." "Win-win, Ianto!" "But not in the same way, Jack. I would like to get through today with Henry still in one piece. Think you can manage that?" "Fine. Any dry cleaning I need to pick up on the way home?" "Yes. Make sure you hang it on the opposite side of the car from Henry or he'll try to slither into the bag." Ianto had almost finished cleaning the machine back to an acceptable condition. Not perfect, but it would do for now. "Noted." Ianto heard a silence that meant Jack was chewing his lip. "Am I supposed to fix dinner?" Ianto spoke to him like he was talking to a small child. "That's why the frozen dinner is on the list. You can manage to pop that in the oven, right?" "I feel positively domestic. Should I also wear pearls and heels?" "You can wear whatever you like, just make sure you have something on under the apron. Don't want to scar the poor boy for life." "You're no fun!" "I'm fond of your bits, remember? Would hate for them to get caught in the oven door." "Good point. No, Tic. I don't think Toe wants you to have...well, now that you have it open..." "Dare I ask?" He looked pitifully at Martha, who merely shrugged. "I wouldn't." Jack's voice smiled for him. A sigh escaped the Welshman's lips. "Anything else?" "Can I get Sugar Bombs?" Jack hoped the eyes he was making translated over the phone. "Are you only asking me now because you know that Henry is currently eating out of an open box of them as we speak?" "No." Jack answered a bit too quickly. "In that case, no. No Sugar Bombs in the house." "Tic, you can't tell..." A little boy giggle came through the line clearly. "Are you sure? They are 'yum yum yummy' - says so on the box..." "Can I talk to him for a minute? See how he's doing?" "Uh, yes?" "Hey, Tic! How's it going buddy?" Ianto tried to hide the fact that he had missed spending the morning with the boy. "Toe! Bombs. Yum-my!" Henry exclaimed happily. "I eat." Ianto hid the growl he wanted to respond with. "Tac gave you Sugar Bombs? Wasn't that sweet? Make sure you don't throw them at him. That would be very bad." Henry smiled into the phone, not realizing Ianto couldn't see him, then frowned. "Still there, Tic? Want to hand the phone back to Tac? I'll see you when I get home, okay?" "'kay!" There was the sound of Jack taking the phone back followed by a disgusted grunt. "Eww..he got the phone sticky!" "Side effects of Sugar Bombs. Make sure you use the wipes to clean him off before you get in the car." "Thanks for the tip," Jack said around crunching noises. Ianto sighed the heaviest he had that day. "Not you too!" "What?" Jack mumbled out mid crunch. "How big a box?" "The one on the shelf that was beside the cart..." "Do all three of us a favor and don't let him eat the whole box..." "That," Jack crunched out, "I can manage." "...And we're not having Sugar Bombs for dinner." "Maybe you aren't..." "You're cooking, remember?" Jack tried to hide the smile in his voice. "You like take-out burgers, right?" Ianto started to pace away from the coffee machine and near Gwen's desk. "Maybe I should just take care of dinner after all." "No, I'll get it. You're busy. You sure you don't want to see us?" Ianto hastily looked at his watch. "I'd meet you somewhere, but there's too much left to do around here. And I don't want Henry in the hub, so as much as I'd like to see you, it's going to have to wait." Jack let out a long-suffering sigh. "Fine. Anything else you want us to do?" "You have the list." Ianto sat in Gwen's chair and stared at her computer monitor as it scrolled through the pictures on the screensaver. "Nothing else?" Jack's voice implied there was more to the question than he was asking. "Like?" A picture of Gwen and Rhys on their wedding day popped into view. "Ice cream?" His tone had changed to hopeful and Ianto was sure he heard the sound of small hands clapping in glee at the mere mention of the words. "Sugar Bombs and ice cream?" Ianto groaned, watching a picture of Martha fade in and then back out. "What? That's a gourmet meal on Boeshane! Tell him, Tic..." Jack laughed. The picture of Owen and Tosh that was framed back at Jack and Ianto's flat filled the screen. "You keep saying things like that, but according to my research it's just not true. I found a lot of oatmeal." "All right - get back to work. What do I pay you for?" "You're not the one signing the checks." A picture of Ianto and Jack, so close together that paper couldn't be fit between them flashed. "Cheeky." "You know it." The picture of Jack and Ianto was replaced by one of Andy, looking peeved at the camera and trying to wave it away. "If you're going to be late, call?" "Let me get back to work then." Ianto stood, stretching. "Oh - and don't call my cell for the next little bit. Gwen is replacing it for me." "What happened to it?" "Someone moved my milk pitcher to the wrong side of the machine and my phone dropped in while I was trying to use it. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" "Ask Gwen - she was the last to try to use it." Ianto grinned to himself. "I'll be sure to bring it up when she gets back. "See you later - Tic - say 'bye'..." In the background, Ianto could hear a faint childlike 'bye'. "Bye, boys." Ianto left Gwen's desk and went back to fix himself a cup of coffee. If that machine was any indication of the state of the rest of the Hub, he was going to busy for most of the day. **--**--** Ianto watched out the window as Jack pulled up and parked the car. He had been hesitant to let him take Henry for the day, but it seemed that everything had gone fine – down to Jack getting home exactly when he said he would. Ianto wondered if that meant that he had cut down the list of errands that he had given him. Jack gestured for help with the groceries and Ianto sighed and walked out to get Henry. When he peered in the window at him, however, he was sure that his eyes were playing tricks on him. Upon opening the door, he found that they were not. "You taped him in. You. Taped. Him. In. Henry is taped into the car seat. Perfectly good restraint system and yet, he IS TAPED IN!" Ianto's voice was frantic and high-pitched and he raked his hand through his hair in frustration. Jack shrugged, his back still to Ianto. "I couldn't get the damn belt to work. This did." "What do you mean you couldn't get it to work? Did you even try?" Ianto's tone was even and calm, even with his hands fisted at his sides. "This is the mirror all over again, isn't it, Jack?!" Jack tried to lie, but his voice faltered. "Noooooo..." Ianto turned away from him and began the task at hand, grumbling under his breath. "Gooey tape mess, just cleaned off the car. Now the boy...at least he's still. Though I should wonder if it isn't almost shock..." Jack rooted around trying to scoop as many bags as he could manage as he left Ianto to the job of freeing Henry. "Yeah, you do that and I'll take this stuff in..." Ianto's mood was not improved with every strip of tape that he pulled free. Just when he thought that there was an end in sight, there was one more piece. And one more. And one more still. "Ummmm, Jack?" The tape made first a ripping noise as he pulled it off and then a crinkle noise as he hastily balled it up and flung it to the floor of the SUV. "Jack." Rip. Rip. Rip. Crinkle. Rip. Rip. Crinkle. Rip. "JACK!" Rip. Crinkle. Riiiiip. "The straps are cut." Ianto looked into the worried blue eyes of the toddler, finding that they looked to be filling with tears. "Why are the straps cut, Jack? Why?" Balancing a large number of bags and the trunk at the same time, he sighed. "Because, Ianto, I couldn't get him out when we stopped at the market. Duh." Jack rolled his eyes. "I taped him back in." Ianto held his voice as steady as he could. "And so you already ruined the seat at the market. Great work by the way. Thanks for that. Martha will be so pleased she went through the effort to buy this seat for us..." Rip. Rip. Crinkle. Rip. Rip. Rip. Crinkle. He paused to look up at Jack. "But this begs the question -" Ianto kept himself from throwing the ball of tape he held at Jack. "If you cut him out once, why not just do it again? Instead of pulling me all the way down here to witness this atrocity in parenting fail?" Jack turned away with a mumbled answer. "..." Ianto threw the tape ball on the floor a little rougher than he meant. "A little louder please, Jack?" He drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. "I said - because I losttheknifewhen I was taping him back in." Jack smiled at Ianto. Ianto stepped away from the car and closer to Jack. "You lost....what?!" Jack shrugged, his smile fading a bit. "The knife?" Ianto got closer still to Jack "You...lost....a...knife?" He could feel his breathing beginning to get shallow. "Where did you lose it?" He was using the voice that chilled Jack to the bones. "Do we need to repeat our safety talk?" Jack made a vague hand motion in the direction of the backseat. "Somewhere in there." He noticed the look Ianto was giving him and added to it. "And he has a helmet on." "I noticed the helmet." He hoped that Jack could read the tone for what it was. "Was getting to that. Can we focus on THE KNIFE, JACK?!?" Rip. Crinkle. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. He glared at the mess that covered the carseat. "Still not seeing it..." "It's somewhere in there - and I'm reasonably sure it's closed." Rip. Rip. Ri- "Reasonably sure?" "Mostly." "Mostly?" "About 68%." "What a coincidence! I'm sixty-eight percent sure that I'm not going to kill you..." Rip. Rip. Rip. Jack's mouth worked like he was a fish out of water. "But I remembered the helmet. Isn't that important?" "And why did he need the helmet? If you would only drive like a normal person his head would have been perfectly secure!" Ianto could see the moisture flying from his lips and dared Jack to say anything with a well-placed look. "Because he kept bashing into things with his head. My driving had nothing to do with it." "This time..." Ianto took the helmet off a big-eyed almost whimpering Henry. "I think I can pull him out now..." He gave a firm tug to the toddler, expecting it to be a little tough as he was still somewhat attached to the seat. "DAMN IT!!!!!" He grabbed his finger and held it away from his body, glaring at Jack. "Reasonably sure, huh? Sixty-eight percent?!" "Oops." Jack started for Ianto's finger, but was pushed away. "Maybe that should have been forty-three?" Ianto fixed on what Jack lovingly and privately referred to as a 'deadpan stare of death' as he drew in yet another deep breath. "Let's go clean it up." Ianto's eyes didn't move. "You aren't that mad are you?" No change in Ianto's look made Jack continue. "I mean, Henry is fine." "Do you think you can get Henry up there without destroying anything?" "That's not fair..." "Not fair? Why is that too much to ask? Wouldn't want you to strain yourself as I STAND HERE BLEEDING!" Jack smiled weakly and scooped up Henry. "I can kiss it better?" Ianto merely blinked at that response. "You owe me, Jack. You owe Henry." Jack leaned to put an arm around Ianto. "Really, I am sorry. I couldn't think of any other way - that damn seat was too hard to get him in and out of." He was using every charm he could on the other man. It appeared to be working. "And the helmet looked cute." Ianto turned a smile toward Henry with a ruffle to his hair. "Sweet little boy.....Why don't we go upstairs and you can tell me all the things you and Tac got up to today." He smiled over at Jack, softening a bit at the sight of Jack and the boy. "And, Jack? I've seen you master 942 types of alien tech, yet you can't use a child seat?" Jack smiled wanly. "And here I thought you were good with restraints..." "All those fasteners! I've seen less complicated torture devices!" Ianto raised his eyebrows a little. Jack wasn't sure if it was in interest or not. He wiggled his own in return. "I could show you later, maybe?" Ianto looked at Jack, but it was apparent he was thinking. Jack was sure he had cracked his bad mood. "Well? Or are you that mad?" Ianto showed him the hurt hand to remind him. "Let's go, we'll talk about it upstairs."
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