THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN OFT' GO ASTRAY

Celebwen Telcontar: I wanted to create another story, just for Halloween. I don't know when I will update it, but hopefully you will like it.

Balrog: Gaaah! Don't put me in there! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! You're going to sacrifice me to a mad Amazon! Aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!

Celebwen Telcontar: But I thought you wanted a part in a story.

Balrog: Not with a Slayer! Don't you know they're just as dangerous as Gondolin Elven Lords and Istari? I'm going to die...

Celebwen Telcontar: (raises one eyebrow) Really? It's just a piece of fiction. Oh, well. Just don't give yourself a panic attack. And don't set the curtains on fire! (Winces) Too late. Oh, well. Maybe I should write Balrog into my stories more often. It keeps him from Flaming my stories.


On the eve before the Feast of Samhain, a very powerful day in all ancient calendars, the man known as Eathan Rayne stood before a bust of Janus. The god stared at him with his stone-carved face, not betraying his Presence by so much of a flick of a granite eyelid. The Priest of Janus fell to his knees, praying to the bifacial deity, and the god granted his prayers with a glee He hadn't felt in millenia. Janus could read a human soul as well as a man could read letters on a papyrus, and knew Ethan was certain then that this plan would go off without a hitch. Janus kept from laughing, but it was a near thing. If the spell was followed to the letter, the Slayer and her followers would become useless Medieval politicians, the Slayer herself being changed into a vain, vapid princess. Janus couldn't allow Ethan's plans to be fulfilled completely; what Ethan had forgotten (perhaps conveniently) was that while Janus was a god of Chaos, He was also a god of Order, and the balance of the two. Janus took great pleasure in twisting the Priest's own spell against him. The Slayer would be a Princess, oh, yes, but not some doe-eyed useless fairy-tale girl!. And, just to throw some spice into the mix, Janus extended the spell over the mad vampire and the souled vampire, removing the spell from the witch. What a wonderful Feast of Samhain! The Priest stood and raised his arms high above his head, laughing like a madman. He didn't see the glint of amusement in the statue's eyes. He didn't feel the hilarity that Janus felt, about to double-cross his devotee. He didn't know that this would be a night to remember!


Celebwen Telcontar: Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

Balrog: Is it safe to come out yet?

Celebwen Telcontar: I meant the curtains, you inverted dragon!

Balrog: Oh. Sorry. The story's too short.

Celebwen Telcontar: It's the prologue, twit!

Balrog: I am not a twit! A twit is a pregnant goldfish! I am not a goldfish and I am not pregnant... both of those images are veiguely disturbing, by the way... Where was I?

Celebwen Telcontar: Sushi?

Balrog: Oh, yes! And thus I cannot be a twit!

Celebwen Telcontar: Wonderful debate with yourself there. Please review, people!

CT

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