A DAY OUT
Chapter Two "So…" Jack said as they walked along, "where should we go to eat?" "Obviously somewhere that accepts children," Nine said, looking over his shoulder at Jack and Mickey. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Doctor. You're not a child," Mickey said. Rose giggled when the Doctor shot him a withering look. He looked at her and his look became tender. "Where do you want to go?" he asked her. "Hello, we're back here. You need our input too!" Jack said. "Yeah, she'll choose chips, we don't want chips," Mickey added. "We want something else," Jack said. "Chips is boring." "I like chips," Nine said smugly. "You would," Jack said. He spied a French restaurant down the street and stopped everyone. The Doctor looked at where Jack was pointing and gave him a withering look. "With the way you lot have been behaving? You honestly think I'm gonna let you go in there?" he said, pointing to the restaurant. "We'll behave, in fact…I'll make reservations for us," Jack said. Rose giggled when the Doctor gave him a suspicious look. "I'm thinking about whether or not to grant you permission," he said to Jack. "Just…play along with me. You've seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off before?" he asked them. Everyone nodded and he beckoned for them to follow him. He walked in the front door and looked around. There was a man standing at a podium near the door with a bored look on his face. His black hair was slicked back and he looked extremely snooty. "Hi," Jack said, walking over to him. "Do you have a business card?" The man gave him an odd look before walking over to a counter near the back. He pulled out a small business card from a holder near the cash register and brought it back to him. "Thanks ever so much," Jack said graciously. The man nodded and took his place at the podium. Jack beckoned to his friends and they walked outside. They walked to a bench by a bus stop and Jack used the card to dial the number for the French Restaurant. Everyone gathered around him while he waited for someone to answer. "Howdy!" he said when someone picked up the phone. "Is this Maison Rouge? Yes, my name is Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago, and I need a reservation for four people?" Rose and Mickey giggled at the Doctor's eye roll. "I see," Jack said. "Yes, we can be there in twenty minutes. I'll have Barnes, my limo driver, meet me at the door to my hotel. You know, you have a lovely city here, buddy. I enjoy it muchly. What? Oh yes, I'm finished. We'll be there lickety split, you betcha! Bye!" "That was childish," the Doctor said while Rose and Mickey laughed. "Perhaps but we have reservations now," Jack said, putting his mobile back in his pocket. "So…Barnes," he said to the Doctor. "Take us to Maison Rouge, if you will." Rose nudged the Doctor when he gave Jack a withering look. "Come on, Doctor, drive us there," Rose said. The Doctor glanced at her and grinned while he mimed holding a steering wheel. His companions laughed while he mimed driving them while they walked thirty feet back to the restaurant. When they entered, the man behind the podium was surprised to see them and even more surprised when Jack announced he made reservations. "We aren't busy at the moment, sir," the man said. "You didn't have to make reservations." "Well, you know, some fancy places require them," Jack said with a shrug. The man grabbed four large menus and led them to a table on the left side of the building, next to a large plate glass window. The Doctor sat with Rose while Jack sat with Mickey. "Here are your menus, someone will be along in a moment," he said to them. "Much obliged, buddy," Jack said, taking his menu and giving him a winning smile. The man rolled his eyes. Jack waited till his back was turned before puckering his lips and making kissy sounds. "Sorry, the man was quite the looker," Jack said when he turned back around. "A bit snooty but I can fix that." They opened their menus. Jack nudged Mickey. "Snails, they have snails," he said to Mickey in a loud stage whisper as he jabbed his finger repeatedly at the listing. "Don't care, I don't care," Mickey said, imitating his loud stage whisper while pointing repeatedly at his own menu. "Oh come now, escargot need to be sampled once in a lifetime. Be adventurous," Jack said. "I will if you will," Mickey said. "Challenge accepted!" Jack said. Rose laughed when the Doctor gave her a withering look. "This should be interesting," he said softly to Rose. "What about you. You having snails?" Rose asked. "Are you?" Rose made a face and shook her head. "Oh come now," Nine said, doing a perfect imitation of Jack's voice. "Escargot need to be sampled once in a lifetime because if you don't, you're a dork!" "I didn't say dork!" Jack said while Mickey giggled. "Ooo, fancy the waiters in this place, I wonder if they'd do it for me on top of the French bread?" Nine said, imitating Jack's voice. "Perhaps a bonk in the baguettes then?" "Wow, that's a really crappy imitation of me, Doc," Jack said while Mickey and Rose laughed hysterically. A waitress came up, introduced herself as Cecile and asked them what they would like to drink. Everyone looked at the Doctor. The Doctor ordered a glass of Chardonnay and everyone did the same. "Would you like anything for starters?" Cecile asked. Everyone looked at each other and said "Escargot!" in unison. "Everyone wants one order of escargot then?" Cecile said. Everyone nodded and she finished taking their order and walked away. "And get us our vittles quickly, skank," Jack said in a soft voice. "Yeah, that's charming, Harkness," Nine said. "I didn't say it loud enough for her to hear me," Jack said. "Good thing," the Doctor said. "I love women, they're beautiful, charming, intelligent creatures that deserve respect and…now, you fat cow!" he said when he spied another waitress on the other side of the restaurant. "Anyway, I was saying, women deserve our respect." "You're asking for a punch to the face, aren't you, Harkness," Nine said while Rose and Mickey giggled insanely.
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