DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES
A/N: This was inspired by a discussion on a Doctor Who group on Facebook. We were discussing things we'd love to see crossed over with Doctor Who and someone mentioned Mary Poppins so we started talking about what it'd be like if Mary Poppins was in the TARDIS and that led to me writing this chapter. Chapter Nineteen "Right!" the Doctor said as he walked into the TARDIS with Amy, Rory and Melody. "Now that Melody is rescued, we need to decide how we're going to accomidate her while we travel. Because I doubt we want her along with us when we're fighting evil, yeah?" "Yeah, I want Melody kept safe, obviously," Amy said. "So…do you want to go back home then?" the Doctor said. Amy and Rory looked at each other and shook their heads. "Hmmm, then we're in a bit of a bind. We need someone who can look after Melody while we're traveling. I…" He snapped his fingers. "Of course, we can find a nanny for her!" he said. "Nanny?" Amy said. "We'd have to find a nanny who could deal with insane things," Rory said. "Then there's only one solution. We ask the TARDIS to find us a nanny who would be a perfect fit for the TARDIS," the Doctor said. "Hear that, Old Girl, find us a nanny suitable for Melody." There was a moment of silence and then the TARDIS came to life. "See, she's taking us to someone who will be an ideal nanny for Melody," the Doctor said. Amy held Melody close to her and she sat down in the chair while Rory stood by her side. After several minutes, the TARDIS stopped and powered down. The Doctor slapped his hands together and raced to the door. Amy got up and she and Rory followed him. The Doctor threw open the door and went outside. It was a moonlit night in the middle of Victorian London. They were surrounded by elegant houses that were inhabited by the well to do of London. But most of the windows were dark and there was no one on the streets. The Doctor frowned when he looked around for any sign of the nanny. Amy and Rory stepped outside and looked around. "So, where is the nanny?" Amy said. "Dunno but this is where the TARDIS brought us so he or she must be somewhere around here." "Should we try one of those houses?" Rory asked, pointing to the houses in front of them. "Um…I would except I'm hesitant to wake up the whole street in the search for one nanny. But I s'pose we could try the one in front of us and at least ask if there is a nanny that lives around her and…" "Doctor!" The Doctor heard Amy scream. He turned around, intending to ask her what was wrong when suddenly a woman dropped down from the sky directly on his head and knocked him over. He grunted when he hit the street. "So sorry about that." The Doctor heard a cheerful woman's voice. He turned over and looked up at a woman. She was dressed in Victorian clothing and carrying a black umbrella with a parrot head for a handle. The woman folded up the umbrella and helped him to his feet. "Mary Poppins, at your service, you wished to hire a nanny?" she asked him. "Um, yeah, how'd ya know?" the Doctor said. Mary reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out a letter. She handed it to the Doctor. "If you want this choice position," the Doctor read. "Have a cheery disposition. Rosy cheeks…wait, I never wrote this." "Nevertheless, I received it and came to apply for the position. Is the position still open?" "Um…yeah, you're the first to apply for the position," the Doctor said. "So…am I hired?" The Doctor shared a look with Amy and Rory. "Well…the TARDIS brought us here so apparently she thinks you're qualified," the Doctor said. "However, I don't like people dropping out of the sky onto my head so that's one strike against you." "Won't happen again, I assure you," Mary said airily. "Now, where are the children?" "Child," Amy said, coming up to her with Melody in her arms. "Ah, a little younger than I like, still, I'll make do," Mary said, studying Melody. "Well, I'm sorry the child isn't the age you're normally used to," the Doctor said. "Now, before we start, I have to tell you about the…" "Where is the child's bedroom?" Mary said, taking Melody from Amy's arms. "I wish to inspect it." "Um, it's in here," Amy said, pointing to the TARDIS. "But you really need to listen to the Doctor before you go inside." "Nonsense, the child needs to be fed or changed or entertained. No need to waste time. Spit spot!" "Okay, lady, you wanna have a heart attack at seeing the inside of the TARDIS without any warning, be my guest," Amy muttered when she walked towards the front door of the TARDIS. She went inside and the three of them waited for the shocked scream or the "Oh, my God, it's bigger on the inside!" Instead, Mary came back outside and gave them all annoyed looks. "Well, isn't anyone going to direct me to the child's bedroom?" she said to them. "Wow, she's good," Rory said. "Didn't even bat an eye at the inside of the TARDIS. Amy shrugged and walked over to Mary. She led her inside while the Doctor and Rory followed. They walked to the room the TARDIS designed for Melody. The walls were pink and the décor was cheerful with lots of toys and books. Near the back of the room was a white crib that had butterflies painted on the headboards along with matching furniture including a double bed for Amy and Rory when they felt like sleeping with their child. Mary looked around. She ran her finger along the top of the doorway and inspected it. "Clean," she said, walking further inside the room. "Not as big as I'd like it, still…it'll do. However, it is messy, it needs cleaning." "Well, I'm sorry," Amy said, clearly annoyed with Mary, "we just got finished rescuing my daughter and we haven't had time to clean." "Well, no time like the present then. Come on, let's play a game called tidy up the nursery." The Doctor, Amy and Rory stared at her. "Um…aren't we paying you to do that?" Rory said. "Nonsense, we must all pitch in and help. Now…you may think tidying up the nursery is work but it's really not. You see…in every job that must be done, there is an element of fun, you find the fun and…snap, the job's a game." "Doctor, can we find another nanny? I don't like this one," Amy said to him. Rory gasped when Mary seized him by the arm and dragged him to the center of the room. She snapped her fingers and Rory's mouth dropped open when a stack of books on a chair flew across the room and landed neatly on a bookcase shelf. She snapped her finger again and a toy elephant marched across the room into a toy chest. "Um…we did land on Earth, right?" Amy said to the Doctor. "Did you find a witch or something?" The Doctor cleared his throat while he walked up to her. "Excuse me, but how are you doing that?" he said, tapping Mary on the shoulder. "Come on, Rory, snap your fingers. Tidy up the nursery is a game!" Mary said, ignoring the Doctor. Rory snapped his fingers and he was astounded when a toy ball bounced into the toy chest. He stared at his fingers in shock and gasped when the Doctor seized his hand and studied his fingers. "How did you do that?" he asked Rory. "How should I know, I was just trying to humor her and…" He grunted in pain when an encyclopedia flew across the room and smacked him on the head on the way to the bookcase. "Okay, wait, stop!" the Doctor said as toys began to walk around him and settle into their proper places. "Listen, witch, demon, magician, whatever you are, stop the magic now!" He sighed angrily when Mary started spinning and dancing around the room singing about spoonfuls of sugar. "Excuse me, quit singing and answer my question!" the Doctor said, following her. Mary sang to her reflection in the mirror and walked away, still singing. The Doctor started to follow her and then noticed that Mary's reflection was still there. He stepped back in shock when the reflection stuck her tongue out at him, flipped him off and vanished. "Okay, I think the woman is most definitely a witch," the Doctor said, walking back to Amy and Rory. "Hey, Witch Woman, give me back my kid!" Amy said, walking up to Mary who was holding Melody in her arms while she twirled and sang. "Give me back my kid before you turn her into a toad!" The tidying was done and everything settled down. Amy took Melody from Mary's arms before Mary walked up to the Doctor. "Splendid! Now…who's for an outing!" she said. "Listen, I'm in charge here and…" "Come along!" Mary said, cutting the Doctor off mid-sentence, "time for an outing. I want you to meet an old friend." "Old friend? Who's that then? Voldemort?" Amy muttered as she walked up to the Doctor with Rory following behind her. "What do we do?" Rory asked. "Well, I think we better get to the bottom of this and see where she gets her magical powers from. Perhaps, we should go on this outing. Amy, go ahead and put Melody to bed, the TARDIS can look after her." "I'll stay behind and look after her, you two see what the hell is going on," Rory said. The Doctor nodded and Amy handed Melody to Rory before giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Come along, Pond," the Doctor said, "Time to go on a little outing."
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