DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES

Chapter Ninety Five

To Rose's surprise, the ride ended immediately after the happy dancing and singing and they went out another tunnel into the bright simulated sunlight and continued floating down the canal.

"Whooooo! Let's go through it again!" Jack said as he applauded. "Wow! That was an eerily accurate representation of Rose's life. I especially loved how me and Yan had no part in it whatsoever. Whooo!"

Rose laughed when the Doctor gave him an annoyed look.

"Well, you do see us sitting here, right?" Jack said. "Which means we entered Rose's life at some point, right? So where were we?"

"You were there…somewhere," the Doctor said vaguely. "Probably among the forest creatures."

"Uh-huh," Jack said as the boat rounded the bend.

They pulled up to the dock and the boat stopped near the empty space and moved sideways towards it. When the boat was next to the dock, it stopped and the TARDIS tied it to the dock. The Doctor helped Rose up onto the dock while Jack and Ianto got out.

"So what else is there in Rose Land?" Jack asked as they walked off the dock.

"Well, there is a haunted house ride," the Doctor said to them.

"Really? Is it filled with Daleks and monsters?" Jack said.

"No, that's in AdventureLand. This is something different," the Doctor said dismissively.

"Is it pants?" Rose asked him.

"No, why would you think that?" the Doctor said to her.

"Because that was pants!" Rose said, pointing back to the Rose covered building. "If this is your theme park, I would rather go to Disneyland!"

"Nah, you'd rather stay here and be with me, not some manky mouse," the Doctor said.

They passed by another statue and Rose stopped short when she got a good look at it. Statue Rose was on her knees, cowering with fear and begging for her life while Jackie stood over her, her hand raised as if to slap her. Jack and Ianto roared with laughter when Rose turned around and eyed the Doctor.

"Explain," she said, pointing to the statue.

"That commemorates the horror of Jackie's slaps to the face," the Doctor said.

"I never begged for my life while my mum towered over me and threatened to slap me," Rose said.

"Really? As hard as she slaps, I'm surprised," the Doctor said. "Come on, I have more surprises in store."

"You're gonna think surprises when I slap you into submission," Rose muttered as she followed the three men.

They passed by a little wooden trolley and Rose stopped again to look at what was on it. There were several rose colored perfume bottles. She picked up one of the glass bottles and examined it. The stopper was molded to look like a red rose and on the front of the bottle was a little label that said ROSE'S DELIGHT with a tiny drawing of a rose beneath it. Rose took the stopper out and sniffed the perfume. Her eyes widened with delight when she smelled the fragrant aroma.

"The TARDIS concocted that," the Doctor said behind her. "It's your own personal scent."

"I love it," Rose said, putting a little bit on her wrists and on her jugular vein. "I can have this?"

"Take it," the Doctor said.

Rose put the stopper back on the bottle and they continued on while she put the perfume in the pocket of her blue jeans. As they neared the haunted house ride, Rose stopped when she saw the Ninth Doctor up ahead. He was casually walking around and Rose's breath caught in her throat.

"So is that a robot?" Jack said.

"Yes. It's meant to be like the characters that stroll the theme parks for the tourist benefit," the Doctor said.

The robot Doctor caught sight of Rose. He smiled warmly and waved to her. Rose giggled and waved back.

"Enjoy your day," the robot said in the ninth Doctor's voice before he turned and continued his stroll.

"Wait!" Jack said, running to catch up with him.

The robot Doctor turned and his cheerful expression instantly turned into a scowl.

"Oh, what is it this time, Harkness? Libido on the rampage again?" he said mockingly to Jack while Jack stopped short. "You're always on about how you need me to take you somewhere sexual. Doctor, can you take me to a strip club? Doctor, can you take me to a brothel? When will it end?"

Rose laughed when Jack flipped the real Doctor off. She gave Jack a smug grin as she walked towards the robot Doctor. Immediately, the robot's expression brightened and he walked towards her, his arms opened wide. She walked into his arms and he closed them around her.

"Are you having a nice day?" the robot said tenderly to her.

"Yes, I am," Rose said, putting her arms around his neck.

"Good. I'm happy when you're happy," the robot said.

Jack came up behind the robot and tapped him on the shoulder. The robot sighed loudly and looked over his shoulder at him.

"I'm busy," he said in a condescending tone to Jack.

"I don't care," Jack said, mimicking the condescension. "I want you to pay attention to me now!"

"If I did that, I'd never get anything done because you would want me to look at you day and night," the Doctor said.

"Oh but Rose is worth your time," Jack said, enjoying the mock fight.

"Rose is definitely worth my time," the Doctor said smugly while Rose giggled. "You, on the other hand, are a space pirate with a raging libido who loves attention whenever he can get it! And who the hell are you?" he said when Ianto walked up to the robot. "How did you get inside my TARDIS?"

"Your next life let me in," Ianto said, pointing back to the real Doctor who was watching the whole scene with amusement.

The robot looked him over and then looked at Rose.

"Blimey, I let in all sorts of riffraff, don't I? First Adam, then Libido and finally…him," he said, looking at Ianto. "What happened to you and me?"

"I don't know. I s'pose you're a glutton for punishment," Rose said sweetly.

"Bang on! I am! Why else would I let the male model and…him in here?" the Doctor said to her. "Hey, you have a name?"

"Ianto," Ianto said.

"Welsh?"

"Yes," Ianto said.

"Where in Wales?" the Doctor said.

"Cardiff."

"Ick. I did you a favor by bringing you onboard then," the Doctor said while Rose laughed. "So, shall we go somewhere…secluded then?"

"Nope, sorry, she's with me," Ten said as he came up to the robot. "You had your shot, it's my turn now."

"Oh look, if it isn't the beanpole," the robot said while Jack chortled. "What was that you were saying about having my shot, Skinny?"

"Go on, go and make your rounds," Ten said, trying to pry his arms off Rose.

"Problems?" the robot said gleefully when Ten couldn't open his arms. "Feeling a bit weak around me? Maybe you should go and eat a sandwich, Mister Anorexic!"

"Rose, come on," Ten said, beckoning to her.

"Rose, I'm more of a man than this three stone weakling," the robot said to her. "Come with me and be mine once more."

"Nah, I think I better go with him," Rose said.

"What?" the robot said while Ten rolled his eyes. "You want this thing! I could bench press him and not even break a sweat and…"

He shut up when Ten whipped out his sonic and showed it to him.

"Let her go or get deactivated," Ten said to the robot.

The robot scowled at him and let go of Rose. The Doctor rolled his eyes and put his sonic back in his pocket while the robot walked away, muttering to himself about how weak and poncy his next self was. The Doctor glared at him for a moment before he told everyone to follow him.

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