HAPPY HILLBILLY THANKSGIVING!

A/N: For everyone who thought I made a mistake in chapter twenty when Eleven said that he was a child at heart and belonged at the children's table. I meant to write at heart in that situation since Eleven was talking to people who were not aware he was an alien so that's why I used at heart instead of at hearts.

Chapter Twenty Six

"Well, that was easy," Ten said as the Doctor and his family and friends went back into the kitchen. "Easiest meal I ever earned."

They had refilled their plates with fresh food and sat back down at the kitchen table and at the counter. Both Donna and Ten turned off the holographic disguises and they looked like their normal selves now. Ten and Donna sat on the stools with Amy and Rory while the others sat at the kitchen table. The Doctor took a bite of turkey and made an "Mmm" sound while he ate.

"Normally I don't accept rewards but I'll make an exception for this," Ten added. "Good job you thought of coming here for Thanksgiving," he said to his counterpart. "This is delicious."

Eleven sighed when Michelle tried to take his macaroni and cheese again.

"You don't want that," Michelle said before giggling at the exasperated look on the Doctor's face.

"You know, I could stuff the macaroni cheese in your ears and render you deaf," the Doctor said to her.

"It's macaroni AND…"

She laughed and bolted from her chair when the Doctor tried to tickle her.

She went back to her seat when Lori came into the room and smiled at them.

"Good, you're eating," she said. "I was just about to ask you to help yourselves. Also, I wanted to ask you to stay at least until supper tonight. I have something special for all of you that I want to make for supper. And that includes you," she said to Ten and Donna.

"We'd love to stay," Ten said.

"Good. Because I want to thank you all. Now if you don't mind, I want to speak to my relatives. I did explain to my husband about you being an alien and he finally accepted it after I showed him the leaf you gave me. Now I want to tell my sister and my aunt and uncle. So keep eating and hang out. And don't worry about the dishes when you're finished, we'll take care of them. Just relax and have fun."

She stared to go out the door and then turned back to them.

"And Jim and I want to tell you that you're always welcome here whenever you want to come, all of you," he said, nodding at Ten and Donna.

"Thank you," Ten said.

Lori nodded and left the room. They heard her telling her relatives to come with her because she needed to tell them something. Michelle waited till they were gone before she looked at Eleven.

"Come for Christmas, please," Michelle said to him.

"Yeah, we can have fun and we'll get all of you presents," Brittany said.

"We'll see what happens," Eleven said while the others nodded in agreement. "We'd love to come but sometimes life interferes. But we will make an effort to come."

After eating, Brittany took everyone on a tour of the house. The door to Jim and Lori's bedroom was closed and the Doctor could hear Lori talking to everyone as they passed by. They showed them the bedrooms and the Doctor's eyes boggled when they went into Michelle's bedroom and he saw all the books.

"My, my, quite a collection you have here," Ten said, perusing the shelves. "Ooo, Secret Garden. I'll have that and Peter Pan and I need another copy of Hunger Games."

"Hey!" Michelle said, rushing over to him when he started to take the books out and tuck them under his arm.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought these were here for the taking," Ten teased as he put them back.

Michelle walked over to her beanbag and picked up the book on Gallifrey the Doctor had given her.

"I gave her that as a gift," the Doctor said when Michelle brought it to him. "Since she loves to read, I thought I could entrust her with this."

"Ooo," Ten said, taking the book, "this is very special so please take care of it, yeah?"

"I will," Michelle said.

"What is it?" Donna said as she came up beside him.

"It's one of a series of books on the history of Gallifrey," Ten said to her. "Very old and very valuable. This is an heirloom so keep it safe," he said to Michelle.

Michelle nodded and held it close to her chest while Ten put his hand on her head. She had Eleven put it on the top shelf of her cupboard before all of them left the room. They headed downstairs and Michelle showed them her secret room.

"Blimey, you have a small library in this house," Ten said when he saw the rest of the books. "You and I could definitely be friends."

"The Doctor told me I could be a companion someday," Michelle said to him.

"Well now, that is a possibility," Ten said, leaning in close. "Yes, you look like a companion. Perhaps you could be one."

He grinned when Michelle's face lit up at that and he patted her head. They walked outside and Ten and Donna looked around.

"What's this?" he said, pointing to the unfinished room.

"It was going to be a home bar but they never finished it," Brittany said to him.

"It's haunted, there's a ghost back there," Michelle said.

"There is? Hmmm, I should investigate then," Ten said, whipping out his sonic.

He walked through the doorway and they heard a humming while he turned on his sonic and saw a blue light illuminating his face while he pretended to look for ghosts. Michelle walked over and went inside.

"Hey," she said to him.

"Ah!" Ten yelled, feigning fear while he spun around.

Michelle giggled at that.

"Don't do that, I'm easily scared," Ten said while everyone else came up to the counter and peered inside the window.

"What's that?" Michelle said, pointing to the sonic.

"It's a sonic screwdriver. It helps me find ghosts," Ten said to her.

"Have you found any yet?" Mandy said, coming inside the room.

"Nope. I haven't found anything because it's dark in here," Ten said.

Brittany reached around the doorway and turned on the light.

"Oh, that's helpful," Ten said, looking around while the children giggled. "So…is this thing for your uncle's benefit then?"

"The bar?" Brittany said as she leaned on the counter.

"Yeah. Did your uncle request this thing be built so he wouldn't have to drive to an actual bar?" Ten said to her.

"Sorta," Brittany said. "Dad likes to drink sometimes but not to the point of getting drunk. They thought they could throw parties down here which is why the den is huge."

"And they don't do that?" Ten said to her.

"Sometimes but I think when my uncle became an alcoholic, they abandoned this so he wouldn't be tempted to hang out here and get sloshed every day," Brittany said.

"Very sensible," Ten said. "I don't know your uncle that well but anyone who brings a case of beer to a dinner doesn't need a bar in the house. Although…"

He picked up a dusty shot glass from the counter beside him and inspected it for a moment before he set it down on the counter. Then he picked up a slightly dirty rag from beside the sink and pretended to wipe down the counter with it.

"Hello," he said to everyone while he wiped the counter down. "I'm the landlord of this pub. What's your poison, mates?"

"What's that mean?" Brittany said.

"Means I own this pub so what ya want to drink, eh?" Ten said to her.

"I want milk," Michelle said.

"MILK? We don't serve milk in me pub, on your bike, mate!" Ten said, pointing to the garage door while everyone giggled.

"I want three fingers of brandy," Brittany said.

Ten paused in his wiping and stared at her.

"How old are you?" he asked her.

"Fifteen."

"How do you know how to ask for that then if you're underage?" he said to her while everyone laughed.

"I heard it in a movie once," Brittany said with a shrug.

"Oh! Phew, I thought you were an adolescent alcoholic for a moment," he said while everyone laughed harder.

"What does it mean, the three fingers thing," Brittany asked him.

"You fill the glass up to the height of three fingers," the Doctor said, putting three fingers on the outside of the shot glass to demonstrate. "So if you wanted three fingers of brandy, you would fill up to the top of the third finger."

"Weird," Brittany said. "I would just tell them to give me a glass of brandy."

"Nah, you don't want that, you want a nice cold pint of bitter," Ten said to her.

"What's that?" Brittany said.

"Ale," the Doctor said. "You have bitter which is ale, you have lager which is beer or you have shandy which is half beer and usually half lemonade. You have your pints and half pints and that's the size of the glass the beverage comes in."

"It's nice that you're telling her all this when alcoholism runs in her family," Amy said to him.

"You know enough to stay away from heavy drinking, right?" Ten asked Brittany.

"After watching my drunk relatives, hell yeah," Brittany said.

"Then this is just for informational purposes," Ten said to her.

"Shandy sounds like that Mike's Hard Lemonade stuff," Brittany said to him. "My cousins like that stuff."

"Yes, but I'm sure it tastes like crap since it's made with American beer," Ten said. "You want beer you get a nice lager from an English pub."

"Hear, hear," Amy said, nodding.

"So…what's in here then?" Donna said, coming through the door and pointing to the bathroom door.

"That's the bathroom," Michelle said. "It works."

"Oi, get out of my pub. You're not supposed to be behind the counter," Ten said to her.

"Oh, button it, Mister Landlord," Donna said to him before she went into the bathroom and closed the door.

"She's not supposed to be back here," Ten said to the others while they snickered.

"Hey, wanna see something cool?" Michelle asked Ten.

"Do I?" Ten said, throwing the rag onto the counter. "Show me something cool then!"

Michelle opened the door to the storage room and asked Brittany to help her. They went inside and a few moments later they came out carrying a stag's head mounted on a plaque. They showed it to Ten.

"Okay, where's the cool thing then?" Ten said, looking at the children.

"This," Michelle said. "It's a deer's head."

"I see that but that's not a cool thing to me," Ten said. "It's more like a dead deer head and I pity the poor deer, to be honest. Where'd you get that?"

"Cousin Jack shot it and gave it to Dad two Christmases ago," Brittany said, rolling her eyes.

"And your father very sensibly chucked it in the cupboard when Jack left," Rory said.

"Yup. He thought it was stupid," Brittany said.

"I like your father more and more," Ten said. "I don't mind hunting if it's for survival purposes but I don't get mounting a head on the wall as a form of decoration."

"Especially since the deer was minding its own business to begin with," Eleven added.

Mandy went into the storage room and came out with a stuffed rabbit that was mounted on a long piece of wood. The rabbit was brown with dark eyes and it was sitting on the wood.

"And Jack the Animal Hater got your father this as well?" Ten said, pointing to it.

"He was proud of that because it was the first thing he killed with a bow and arrow," Brittany said. "He started out with shotguns and then moved on to bows and arrows."

"But where's the sport in it?" Eleven said. "These are passive animals. If you're gonna hunt, hunt a tiger. Something that could kill you if you made a wrong move and it's all life and death then. Don't shoot animals that aren't bothering anyone."

The children took the animals back into the storage room.

"I'm surprised Jack the Animal Assassin didn't ask why his trophies weren't being displayed prominently in the house," Ten said to everyone.

"He probably knows the reason why," River said. "I'm sure his uncle has made it quite clear that he hates his hobby."

Michelle came out of the room carrying a small porcelain figure of a geisha. Ten's eyes lit up.

"At last, something cool," he said, carefully taking it from her. "This is beautiful," he said, running his finger down the figure's pink kimono.

"Great Uncle Tom got that when he went to Japan," Brittany said, coming out of the room. "Years and years ago."

"This is exquisite," Ten said, passing it to Eleven. "I love the cherry blossoms on her kimono. The artistry is quite…OI! NOBLE, DID YOU FALL IN THE LOO?" he suddenly screamed to the closed door. "DO WE NEED TO FISH YOU OUT?"

"BUGGER OFF, SPACEMAN!" Donna screamed back while everyone laughed.

"Wow, language, forgive my companion for her potty mouth," Ten said.

"Maybe she's having diarrhea," Mandy said to him.

Ten and Eleven sniggered.

"MANDY WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD A TOUCH OF THE LIQUID SQUIRTS, LOVE!" Ten yelled at the door while everyone giggled.

"YOU'RE GONNA THINK LIQUID SQUIRTS WHEN I BASH YOUR BRAINS OUT OF YOUR HEAD!" Donna yelled back.

"Her bowels are in a spot of bother at the moment, bless," Ten said while everyone laughed. "Anyway, is there anymore cool stuff we can see?" he said, handing the figurine back to Michelle when everyone was done looking at it.

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