HOW I MET YOUR FATHER
Author's Note: this chapter is for TVnut as a Christmas present. Merry Christmas! Kids back when I just finished Uni I had a boyfriend called Mickey. Mickey was the best. He was kind, sweet, and adorable. We dated for three years in which he took great care of me and treated me like a princess. But he didn't…well fascinate me, I suppose, he wasn't what I wanted, and certainly not what I needed, and in the end it crumbled. But we ended it amicably and remained really good friends. Within a year he found Dr Martha Jones and a month after I met your Uncle Jack they had invited me, and my friends to the wedding. This was going to be the Wedding that changed everything, why? Because I had asked Jack to be my plus one, and he said yes. "Are you sure he knows it's a date?" Amy asked sceptically. It was a surprisingly warm April day and the two of them were enjoying a late afternoon stroll between their local branch of Starbucks and their flat. Rose had just spent the last half an hour gushing about how Jack was going to be her date to the wedding, "Of course it's a date!" Rose snapped. "What else would it be?" "Two mates on the pull together? A pity date? Two friends just hanging out? A moment of-" "Yeah, all right, I get the picture," Rose interrupted Amy's disheartening list. "But it will be a date because I have the dress." Before Amy could ask exactly what was the dress, there was a loud shriek down the road, and much to their surprise a familiar dark skinned woman was screaming down the phone. "What do you mean there's no lilies. I need the lilies, I paid for the lilies, and now you're telling me THERE'S NO LILIES?! WELL SCRE-" "Martha?" Rose interrupted stunned. Martha paused and turned to face them. She smiled sheepishly and hung up, "Oh hi guys," she mumbled, "sorry about that…" "How are you?" Amy asked concerned. "Oh you know…on the verge of committing homicide." "I don't know how you do it," Amy said hesitatingly, and very admiringly as well, I'm getting married and we haven't even set a date or booked somewhere yet." The idea of planning a wedding terrified Amy. She had no idea where to start, what exactly she wanted other than the ridiculously expensive, and just looking at Martha who was obviously severely stressed…well it scared her. She didn't want to be like that at all. "We probably wouldn't be getting married so soon but there was an opening at the-" Now Kids I cannot, for the life of me, remember where Martha and Mickey had their wedding. All I know it was a posh hotel that cost a fortune and was a long tube ride away. "My sister Tish has connections and got us in." "Oh my God! You're getting married in the-" Oh and it was the place Amy and Rory wanted to get married in! "That's really difficult to get in. Me and Rory tried to book for next year out of a whim and there wasn't a single opening!" "Yeah, kind of wished we picked somewhere else," Martha sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. It was usually well kept, tied back, and so neat that Rose wondered if Martha had some sort of superpower, but now it was sticking up in places like a crazy person….err why did Rose want to get married again? "I've been having nightmares with the hotel staff. I think I have hives from the stress." This was coming from a doctor, the sensible, logical, girl. "Well I got my plus one," Rose said cheerfully, a very false cheer as Martha was scaring the shot out of her right now. "So you don't have to worry about a meal going spare." "What?" Martha blinked. "My plus one, I found him. He's-" "You didn't RSVP a plus one!" Martha shrieked. "I did!" Rose argued, rather bravely, she had thought but Amy informed her later that it came out high pitched and scared sounding. "I always do!" "Well not this time, Tyler!" Martha snapped. "So tell your date that he can't come." "But-" "NO BUTS!" Martha bellowed. A poor old man who had been walking past jumped, missed putting his walking stick on the ground, and slipped onto the floor. Amy ducked down to help in but out of selfishness rather than the kindness of heart. It meant she could avoid Martha's blazing fury. "I have flowers to find since my florist has failed me, I have the catering company to phone because my Dad had to bring his lactose intolerant, nut allergic, calories hating bimbo to the wedding, I have my mother, my siblings, and the fact my father is bringing his midlife crisis to the wedding to deal with, you know never mind it's my day and he's supposed to give me away, whatever, and not to mention my dress no longer fits me because I lost too much weight due to the stress of organising a wedding!" Rose winced and took several steps back. She knew the subject of Martha's stepmother was an incredibly sensitive issue and Martha got a little irrational whenever she was mentioned. "I'm really sorry" Rose said soothingly, "but surely one more person will make a difference. Just give the bimbo's dinner to Jack," a reasonable solution if you asked her. "If you want to go hungry that's fine," Martha said flippantly, "but you're still not bringing a date. If you don't like it then don't come." Before Rose could plead with her she stormed off and not far down the road they could hear Martha shrieking down her phone once more. "What am I going to do now?" "I don't know," Amy shrugged, "tell Jack he can't come." "But he has to come!" Rose wailed. "How am I going to seduce him with the dress if he's too busy having drinks in a bar nowhere near me. All my plans, my hopes, my dreams, just gone!" "Has anyone ever told you that you're rather melodramatic?" Rose glowered at her so called best friend. Amy shrugged it off without much care and suggested something sensible. "Perhaps River can take him as her plus one?" "Please," Rose snorted, "River with a plus one?" "Oh yeah," Amy said realisation dawning, "the Best Man scam." Kids, you know how popular culture depicts bridesmaids as insecure and desperate creatures? Well your Aunt River had a similar theory with any unmarried Best Man…we're not really sure why she wanted to touch those with a broom let alone jump into bed with them. "I suppose I just won't go…" Rose sighed. "You can't do that!" Amy shouted suddenly. "It'll make you look like you never got over Mickey!" "Urgh!" Rose groaned. "Can't have that. I love Mickey and all but only as a mate." "There's your answer!" Amy snapped her fingers as one of her brilliant ideas came to her. Rose stared at her blankly. "Mickey!" Amy said exasperated. "He's the groom! He'll put Martha right." "You think?" Rose asked hesitatingly. "Because well…he's a bit of an idiot, an adorable idiot, but an idiot nonetheless, and Martha's rather scary." "Hey," Amy said reassuringly, "it's his wedding too and he has an input." Rose gave Amy a pointed look since Rory has had minimal input in the vague plans they had made so far. "Call him!" "All right," Rose agreed, "what could be the harm?" "Don't worry Rose," Mickey's warm voice crackled on the phone within five minutes of her calling him and explaining everything, "I'll set Martha straight and you can bring this Jack." "Really?" "Sure," Mickey said unbothered, "why shouldn't you bring a date?" "Well thanks." "No problem babe, see you later." "Bye." Rose arrived to Galifrey's in a happy mood to find only Rory waiting for them for a quick drink before their movie and take out night. They quickly caught him up on what happened, he, unlike his fiancée, had a much more cynical view of the whole situation. "You can't go behind the bride's back!" he exclaimed. "Why not?" Rose asked. "Think what would happen if I went behind Amy's back," Rory pointed out. Amy snorted, "Don't be such a stupid face," she scolded her fiancée gently, "As if you would ever go behind my back, and Mickey's not going behind Martha's either." "I just can't see this ending well…" He was right. DWDWDWDWDWDW "Mickey?" Rose blinked sleepily. It wasn't late but after a long day, and she just wanted to curl up and watch a film with Rory, Amy, and Jack (River refuses to stay in on Friday nights out of some sort of ridiculous principle). It was a big surprise for her ex-boyfriend to turn up at her front door the night before his wedding. Shouldn't he be doing….well Stag Night stuff? "What's up?" Mickey looked up at her like a kicked puppy which melted her heart a little. "Martha broke up with me." "What?!" Rose shrieked. Concerned for her, Jack stood up and stepped towards her. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly. "Is that the guy you wanted to take to the wedding?" Mickey asked. When Rose nodded he whistled. "Whoa…I now see why it was worth breaking me and Martha up." "What?" Jack blinked. "I don't understand," Rose said miserably, "how did my wanting Jack to come to the wedding led up to you and Martha breaking up." "I told you so!" Rory shouted from the sofa. "Shut up, Rory." "Mickey," Rose said confidently, "you and Martha won't be broken up forever, we'll sort it. Jack and I just won't go and-" "But I want you to be there!" Mickey burst out passionately. "You're my best friend. Well, after Jake, and I love you, as a mate, and want you to be there when I show the world how much I love Martha and want to take care of her." "Did you tell Martha this?" Amy asked curiously "Not exactly…" "What did you say?" Rory asked. "Well…" "Mickey," Rory, Amy, and Rose said warningly. They were far too used to him bollocking things up with his lack of…well eloquence. "I just made it very clear that I wanted Rose to be there!" "Mickey!" Rose exploded. "That sounds like you just told Martha that you're still in love with me!" "But…but…but..." "Oh my God," Amy face palmed, "you're an idiot!" "Come on!" Rose snatched up her coat. "We have to save your wedding!" "But I don't know where she is!" Mickey wailed. "She just broke up with the bloke she was putting herself under severe stress for in order to marry him," Rose said patiently as possible. She was very quickly reminded one of the many reasons why she and Mickey broke up. "There is only one place she can be." "Where?" "The pub, of course." DWDWDWDWDWDWDW Martha was still sobbing into her vodka and cranberry juice. After she broke it off with Mickey, a hideous fight that resulted with her throwing her ring at him, she wandered the streets crying when she bumped into River. Without hearing a word of argument, the curvy, outgoing, wild child dragged Martha into Galifrey's for a drink. It was her fourth one and still she felt far too sober and depressed. "Who needs men, hey?" River said cheerfully as she brought another drink for Martha despite the fact that Martha hadn't finished her fourth drink. "Drink up sweetie, you and I are going to paint the town crimson red and in the morning you'll be all Mickey who?" "I don't want to forget him!" Martha protested. "I love him!" "They all say that they love him," River said dismissively, "but at the end of the day you left him before it was too late and now you should live your life to the fullest." "I didn't want to break it off," Martha carried on, "But I just couldn't believe that he cared more about Rose being there, and Rose being happy, than me." "There, there sweetie," River patted Martha's arm sympathetically, "you don't need him." "But I do!" Martha wailed. "But you really don't," River shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Look at you, you're a beautiful, sophisticated woman. A doctor. Independent, intelligent, and totally awesome. What do you need Mickey for? Apart from, you know, somewhat passable sex." "You're right," Martha realised, ignoring the snide comment of Mickey's sexual prowess. "I am all those things." "Exactly!" River enthused. "You don't need a man." "No I don't," Martha agreed happily. "After what is a man for apart from DIY and making babies? Nothing I can't hire someone to do." "In total agreement here, it's like you're reading my mind," River said excitably. "In fact they need you. You should remind them that they need you. Fulfil your potential-" "You can stop sucking her into cult right now," Amy interrupted sternly as she dragged River out of the booth. Rory gave River his patent look of disappointment while Jack hovered further behind looking somewhat amused. Rose and Mickey had pushed past River to talk to Martha. "Why?" River challenged her bossy redheaded friend. "So you can drag her back into your cult of marriage and happiness." "Exactly," Amy agreed as she shoved River into the next booth. "Martha, love," Mickey said pleadingly, "I don't care who is at the wedding. I don't care if the food is crap, or the lilies aren't there, or even if they don't play our song…I just want to marry you. I love you." Tears filled Martha's eyes again. Hey, it's been a stressful and highly emotional day, and that was before the break up. "It just feels like…that you don't sometimes," she mumbled. "That you don't care about what I care about." "Of course I care!" Mickey cried out. "I care about the fact you want lilies at our wedding because they were the first flowers I got you. I care about the fact that your stepmother and her so called lactose intolerance, which you're certain she made up because you see her devour a pint of ice cream two years ago, is driving you up the wall. I care about the fact you wake up with nightmares of something going wrong. I care about the fact that you haven't eaten and now lost a terrible amount of weight. I care Martha, I care so much." "And you listen," she said tears now running down her cheeks, only these now seemed to be happy ones, because who wouldn't cry at such a loving speech? "You really listen to me." "You make everything boring sound exciting." "I love you." "I love you too." "Can we still get married tomorrow?" Martha asked hesitatingly. "Of course we can babe," Mickey grinned at her. "Why do you think I'm here? I came to win you back." Martha laughed shakily and threw her arms round Mickey, they kissed sweetly as River rolled her eyes in disgust. Mickey happily placed his engagement ring back on her finger and they kissed once more to the cheers of the bar and the muttered disgust of the barman (something about domestics, Martha really didn't care). Cradled in Mickey's arms, Martha smiled at Rose, "Thank you," she said a bit hoarse from her crying. "I know he wouldn't have found me if you didn't shove him in the right direction." "No big deal," Rose shrugged. "And," Martha sniffled a little, snot was so unattractive after all, "I suppose it really wouldn't be a big deal if you brought your date," Martha said as she wiped her eyes once more, "I was just being…" "Bridezilla?" "Yeah." "Its fine," Rose reassured her, "and thank you. I'm sorry I caused such a problem." They had one last drink with Martha who cheered up considerably after meeting Jack, and they waved her and Mickey off as they headed back to the places they were staying before the wedding. Rose sighed half happily and half wistfully at the sight. She wanted to get married again. DWDWDWDWDWDW The wedding was lovely. Short, non-religious, and very sweet as Martha and Mickey recited their own written vows. Martha looked gorgeous in her simple white, strapless, gown and veil, and Mickey looked…well uncomfortable in his suit but that was nothing new, nor was the lavish look of adoration he had for his bride. The reception wasn't bad, though the food wasn't great and the drinks were incredibly expensive but Jack was there and Rose enjoyed it immensely. He joked, he flirted, and he danced with her. The music was really good but Mickey always did have good taste in music and after being spun round the dance floor to dizzyingly lengths, she went to get another drink when she was suddenly dragged aside by a happy Martha. "Okay, you're forgiven," she grinned, "a gorgeous guy like that? Totally worth almost breaking me and Mickey up." "I didn't meant to," Rose said immediately, "I just-" "Hey," Martha interrupted reassuringly, "totally get it. But because I'm a ridiculous person who likes to prove her point. I found this." She handed Rose her RSVP. She had ticked no plus one. She never ticked no plus one. She used to always tick plus one…when did she stop believing she would find someone? "You're all right?" Martha peered at her worriedly. "Yeah, fine," Rose mumbled, "just even more sorry for causing trouble." Martha rubbed Rose's arm sympathetically, "It worked out for the best after all," she smiled, "and you got that gorgeous hunk of a guy over there." "Have I?" Rose asked more herself than her friend. "The way he's been looking at you?" Martha beamed. "Of course you do! He's totally besotted with you." This was the truth. Over the months while being friends Jack had found himself more and more into Rose. He liked her laugh, he loved her passion, he enjoyed the same things she did, and he has never met anyone as nice, considerate, and perhaps a little insane, like Rose Tyler. Then when he picked her up that evening….dressed in that gorgeous black revealing dress, her blonde hair pinned up, and her make up highlighting everything gorgeous about her… In that moment Jack realised just how beautiful Rose is, and just how much she meant to him. He swigged his drink bravely, and once Martha left Rose in favour of dancing with her new husband, he approached her for another dance. "We seem to have a habit of dancing to Glenn Miller," he purred. "He was Mickey's Nan's favourite, and he grew up with her," Rose mumbled as she rested her chin on his shoulder. "But he does seem to be our favourite…" He held her tighter and shut his eyes. He wondered…how would he ever be able to approach her romantically when he had so stupidly made it clear he only wanted to be her friend? Meanwhile Rory bounced up to Amy, definitely tipsy but he wasn't working tomorrow, and he deserved to have some fun, and kissed her soundly on her cheek. "Good news!" Rory shouted as he twirled Amy into his arms, "there's an opening here. Someone had cancelled, and Martha being the awesome friend she is told Tish we wanted to have our wedding here, and she booked us in, for a discounted rate. We can get married in two months!" "What?" Amy asked stunned. "I know it's really fast," Rory said a little more sensibly, "but it's a great opportunity and it's….well you and me, married. How awesome would that be?" "Really awesome. We're us, how can we not be?" Amy replied automatically. "Sounds fantastic," Amy said thoughtfully, "yeah, let's do it!" she cried out impulsively. "Let's get married in two months!" He cheered a little and pulled her in for a more passionate and loving kiss. She returned it happily enough but inside Amy's heart stopped as her stomach and other insides froze in dread and horror. She wasn't ready. It was suddenly flashing all before her eyes. Marrying Rory, having Rory's babies, never doing anything beyond teaching, mothering, and occasionally having a drink with Rose. She didn't want that. She wanted to pursue her dreams! Whatever happened to her acting career? Why did she stop auditioning for amateur productions? Why hasn't she continued to chase after every potential acting job? Why has she suddenly settled down? Whatever happened to trying to make it big? What happened to all her travelling she was going to do? What happened to her fucking lesbian experience, and learning a new language, and eating different foods from round the world, and finally starring in her favourite musical of all? She has done nothing she had set out to do in her life and now she was going to lose her chance to ever do it. She clutched Rory desperately. She loved him. But she didn't want to marry him, not yet anyway. So on the outside nothing had changed, we were all still friends, we all had our lives, but inside…everything had changed. We had changed. "River!" Two scandalised female voices of Amy and Rose screamed as River staggered out of a toilet cubicle with one of the ushers, a cousin of Mickey's, completely rumpled and stinking of sex. "What?" River asked as she reapplied her lipstick. "At least I'm being awesome." Okay…not everyone had changed.
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