I OWN LONDON!

A/N: I was gonna stop this fanfic with just one chapter but I got another idea.

Chapter Two

Rose was sitting on the sofa reading a book when the Doctor strolled into the room, a huge grin on his face.

"Guess what?" he said as he came up to the sofa.

"You let out a fart and the toilet exploded," Rose said, not looking up from her book.

"No but that's an interesting image. No…guess what?"

"You pulled yourself between your legs and kissed your own arse," Rose said, still not looking up from her book.

"Another interesting image, wrong though. Guess what?"

Rose sighed and put the book on her lap.

"What?" she said.

"I own the Earth," the Doctor said.

"Mm," Rose said.

"Wanna see proof of it?"

Rose raised an eyebrow. The last time he did something like this, he took her back to before London was built and yelled out that he owned the land. She guessed he was gonna take her back before the Earth was formed and yell out that he owned whatever formed in front of him. She was about to decline when an idea came to her and she smirked.

"Yes, I want proof," she said.

"Follow me!" the Doctor said.

"Hm, two can play at this game, Doctor," Rose muttered to herself as she put her book down on the coffee table.

She followed him back to the console room. She figured he'd stop and take them somewhere but he went past the console and she realized they were already there. She calmly walked with him down the ramp and the Doctor opened the door. Rose looked out and saw dust and rocks and debris floating around them. In the distance was the sun.

"We have gone back to the time before the Earth was formed," the Doctor said, sweeping his arm across the view. "All of this will be Earth someday and…"

"ATTENTION, UNIVERSE!" Rose screamed, shutting him up. "I, ROSE TYLER, HEREBY…"

"Oh, no you don't!" the Doctor said, trying to slam his hand over her mouth. "The Earth is mine!"

"Like hell it is, I'm an Earthling and you're not! I wanna own the Earth!" Rose said.

"I'm a higher species and you're a lower one! I outrank you! I, THE DOCTOR, mmmph!" he said when Rose slammed her hand over his mouth.

"I, ROSE TYLER…"

Rose gasped when the Doctor wriggled out of her grasp and tried to silence her with his hand.

"You are not outranking me! I thought of the ownership bit first!" the Doctor said with a grin as he playfully shoved Rose up the ramp.

"I don't care. I'm from Earth, you're not!" Rose said.

"I saved Earth eighty bajillion zillion times! Have you?" the Doctor said.

"I don't care if you saved it a kajillion times. You're not an Earthling! This is my planet! You're just sore because I didn't stand there and let you claim it!" Rose said, backing up to the console. "And…if I own the Earth, I own London so there goes your claim as well!"

"No, you can't own London! It's valuable to me! I get income from it!" the Doctor said. "Besides I need the nine million slave laborers!"

"You don't own anything! Not even the TARDIS! The TARDIS owns you!"

The Doctor considered that for a moment.

"Yes, probably. But…I own my ears," he said, grabbing them.

"Not if I claim ownership of the Earth."

"My people came before the Earth so you can't own me!"

"You're 900 years old so you came after the Earth so I do own you," Rose said as she and him went slowly around the console.

"I'm not from Earth!" the Doctor said.

"Then you don't have a right to claim it! Ha! I trapped ya!" Rose said, pointing at him.

"I'm a Time Lord and I saved the Earth from destruction so I do have a right to claim it! Ha! I trapped you in your trap!"

By now Rose was laughing and she laughed harder as she ran back to the door for another try at claiming ownership. The Doctor grinned and gave chase.

"I, ROSE TY…AHHH!" she yelped as the Doctor came up behind her and stuck his fingers in her armpits.

"You're not getting my land claim!" he said in her ear as he tickled her armpits.

Rose squealed and tried to wriggle out of his arms.

"I, ROSE TYLER," she yelled through her giggles. "CLAIM THE EARTH…"

She laughed when the Doctor pulled her away from the door with a gleeful grin.

"FOR MYSELF!" Rose squealed as the Doctor licked her cheek repeatedly. "IN THE NAME OF MEEEE!" she squealed louder when the Doctor tickled her harder.

The Doctor chuckled as he stopped his tickling and Rose gasped for air.

"Truce?" the Doctor said.

"Truce," Rose said after swallowing air.

"Co-owners?" the Doctor said, nodding towards the open door.

"Nah, you can have the Earth, I don't want the responsibility," Rose said.

"You know what? Neither do I. I'm content with London," the Doctor said. "But now, that I've gotten you up off the sofa. How about somewhere fun…perhaps on Earth after its formed?"

"The beach? Nice and sunny?" Rose said.

"You read my mind."

Rose laughed when the Doctor tickled her armpits and gave her a wet, sloppy kiss on the cheek before letting go and running towards the open doors. He closed them, ran up to Rose, took her hand and with an infectious grin, they hurried to the console to plan their next move.

THE END.

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