LOOOOO!

Chapter Two

Martha breathed a sigh of relief when she closed the bathroom door and walked towards the toilet. The TARDIS finally managed to repair the damage the Master had done and she was back home with the Doctor and Jack. Her body was stiff and tired and she felt like she'd aged a million years from all the stress and stain over the past year. Sitting down on the toilet and emptying her bladder felt good and after it she was going to take a shower and finally go to sleep in her own bedroom again.

While she was emptying her bladder and staring at the wall in front of her, she suddenly heard snickering outside the closed door. Then she gasped when someone began pounding frantically on the door.

"Martha! You gotta let me in, it's an emergency!" the Tenth Doctor said through the door.

"Why? What's wrong?" Martha yelled. "Oh my God, is it the Master again?"

"No, it's my bladder, it needs to be voided. SO OPEN UP!" he yelled, pounding.

"I'm on the toilet, Doctor. I'll be out in a minute!" Martha yelled.

"But the Doctor's bladder is not like yours, Martha. It's thimble sized, he needs to go to the loo!" Jack said through the door.

Martha stared at the door in shock when both men screamed, "LOOOOOO!" before laughing hysterically.

"Okay…" Martha murmured to herself.

She sighed when the pounding continued.

"I'LL BE OUT IN A BLEEDIN' MINUTE, ALRIGHT?" Martha yelled.

"But my thimble sized bladder will be empty by then," the Doctor said as he stopped pounding. "And then I will wet myself and I'll be sad. You don't want me to be sad, do you, Martha?"

"Yeah, you don't want him to be sad, do you, Martha?" Jack said.

"Why are you here, Jack?" Martha said.

There was a short pause.

"Um…to catch the pee in case he goes before you get out?" Jack said while the Doctor sniggered.

Martha sighed when the pounding and "LOOOOO!" resumed.

"Bloody Hell, how old are you?" Martha yelled.

The pounding stopped.

"I'm 903 but what does that have to do with my bulging bladder that's threatening to explode all over my person?" the Doctor said.

"It has to do with your maturity level and you and Jack are acting like little babies!" Martha said.

"But I need to gooooo…"

Martha stared at the door when the Doctor drew out the O in go for thirty seconds before he fell silent. Then the pounding started again.

"STOP IT!" Martha yelled.

"Hey, Doctor?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Watch this," Jack said before singing loudly and off-key…

"LOO, LOO, SKIP TO MY LOO. LOO, LOO, SKIP TO MY LOO. LOO, LOO, SKIP TO MY LOO! SKIP TO MY LOO, MY DARLING!"

"ARRRRRGH!" Martha yelled when Doctor joined in and both man sang, "LOO, LOO, SKIP TO MY LOO!" as loudly as they could.

Martha finished up on the toilet and flushed it. She pulled up her pants and trousers, washed her hands and flung open the door. The two men stopped singing and smiled warmly at her while she gave them a look of death.

"All done then? Super! Let me and my bladder go by then."

"By all means," Martha muttered as she came out of the room.

Both men giggled and gave her hugs.

"We're just taking the mickey out of ya, Jones. No harm, no foul?" the Doctor said.

Martha rolled her eyes and grinned.

"Yeah, no harm, no foul," she said.

"Brilliant! Enjoy whatever you're gonna do next. Harkness? Another chorus?"

"Most certainly!" Jack said.

Martha shook her head and chuckled when both men went back to the console room singing Skip To My Loo at the top of their lungs.

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