ROSE'S BLOG

Chapter Three

After a couple of hours, the Doctor and Rose finished their hike back at the TARDIS. Rose was so glad to see it, she was exhausted, and she was looking forward to lying down and taking a nap. She waited while the Doctor unlocked the door and then the two of them went inside.

As they walked towards the console, they failed to see a little brown puffball roll inside the door. The Zeebot stopped rolling and stared at them intently from the ramp wondering what this strange place was. Rose walked out of the console room while the Doctor used the lever on the console to shut the door behind him. He followed Rose out of the room unaware that the Zeebot was now making its way towards one of the support columns.

The Doctor relieved himself in the bathroom and headed back to the console room while Rose got ready to jump in the shower. He walked into the room unaware that the little visitor was now nestled halfway up the support column watching him intently. The Doctor piloted the TARDIS into the vortex and slumped down on the captain’s chair while he tried to figure out where to go next. He drummed his fingers on the back of the chair while he racked his brain for possible destinations.

“Now, let’s see,” he muttered to himself. “Where would be a good place to take Rose? Hmmm, the crystal caves of Tamerlania, the rainbow gorge on Ortok Minor, or perhaps…”

“!”

The Doctor’s hearts nearly jumped out of his chest when he heard a high-pitched scream. He gripped the back of the captain’s chair looking all around for the source of the noise. His eyes settled on the Zeebot and he cursed loudly.

“Rose Tyler, I thought I told you to leave the Zeebot behind,” he yelled out.

“!”

The Doctor gritted his teeth, jumped up from the chair and ran over to the support column.

“Come ‘ere, you little menace.” He snarled.

He cursed when the Zeebot quickly scrambled up the support column out of arm’s reach.

“Damn it,” he said.

“!”

The Doctor sighed and shook his head. He watched helplessly as the Zeebot reached the ceiling and began to walk upside down across it.

“Doctor,” Rose said coming into the room. “What the hell is that racket?”

The Doctor rounded on her.

“I thought I told you to leave the Zeebot behind,” he said angrily.

“I did!”

“!”

Rose gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the scream. She looked up and noticed the Zeebot was making its way across the ceiling. She looked back at the Doctor who had his arms folded over his chest.

“I swear, Doctor, I didn’t bring it in here,” she said. “I left it by that tree!”

“Well, it followed you then,” the Doctor said. “I told you not to fool around with it and now---“

“!”

Rose and the Doctor gritted their teeth.

“Why is it screaming?” Rose said.

“That, Miss Tyler, is its mating call. The thing must be in heat.”

Rose stared up at it.

“It screams when it’s in heat?” she said.

“Yes, there isn’t that many Zeebots since they mate every couple of years and their individual territories are huge, so in order for the female Zeebots to breed, they have to scream at the top of their lungs to attract a mate.”

“!”

“Just like that,” the Doctor said pointing up.

The Doctor put his hands on his hips and gave Rose a pointed look. She sighed.

“Alright, I’m beginning to see what you mean about them being annoying,” she said.

Suddenly, a waterfall of feces rained down from the ceiling directly onto the Doctor’s head. He let out a scream of surprise and rage and ran for cover as Rose darted out of the way.

“You little menace!” the Doctor bellowed as he shook his fist at it.

“!”

“You’re gonna think aaaugh when I get done stomping you into the ground!” the Doctor screamed.

He glared at Rose.

“Keep an eye on that thing, I need to go take a bloody shower now,” he said to her.

He looked back up at the ceiling.

“And when I get done showering, I am taking you straight back to Freazon Twelve and I’m dropkicking you out the door!”

“!”

The Doctor sighed and threw up his hands. Muttering, he walked out of the room. Rose watched him go wishing she had listened to him when suddenly she heard something else hitting the floor. She turned her head around and groaned when she saw a yellow stream of pee falling onto the tiny mound of poo.

“Oh perfect,” Rose muttered.

Sighing, she started to walk out of the room to get something to clean the mess. She hesitated a moment and stared up at the Zeebot who was now resting quietly. The Doctor had told her to stay put and keep an eye on it, but she wanted to clean the mess up and she figured it wouldn’t get far with her tiny suction cup feet.

“I’ll just be a second,” she muttered to herself. “I just need to get some stuff from the supply closet and I’ll be right back.”

She turned and quickly hurried out of the room.

The Zeebot watched her go. It recognized her as the tall thing that had been nice to her. Where was she going? Curious, she detached herself from the ceiling, fell to the floor next to her mess, and rolled out of the console room in search of Rose.

Rose returned a few minutes later dragging a mop bucket behind her and holding a mop, broom, and dustpan in one hand.

“Okay, let’s get your mess cleaned up,” she said looking up.

She frowned when she couldn’t see it. Laying the cleaning supplies on the floor, she walked around in a circle scanning the ceiling trying to find the Zeebot.

“Where the hell did she go?” she muttered.

The Zeebot rolled down the corridor. This certainly was a strange forest. She had never seen anything like it. She wondered if there were any mates in here for her. She had called to them, but so far there had been no response. She hoped she could find the tall thing so at least she could be safe from the huge Tsikle cats that stalked her and her kind.

She paused outside a door that was slightly ajar and listened. She heard a voice coming from the other side of it. Wondering if it was the tall thing, she walked over, nudged the door with her nose, and walked inside.

“Damn it, stupid bloody Zeebot, I told Rose not to mess with it,” the Doctor muttered as he stood in the bathtub showering the feces off him.

He reached down and grabbed the bottle of shampoo.

“Now we have to go get a ladder and get that thing down and then get it back to Freazon Twelve and this time it’s gonna stay there even if I have to glue its suction cup feet to the bleedin’ tree trunk!”

He continued to talk to himself as he lathered the shampoo into his hair.

“I tell her, I tell her all the time not to do something and does she listen to me? Nooooo, she just thinks she knows more than I do even though I’m the one who’s been time travelin’ for seven hundred bleedin’ years! If I didn’t care for her so much, I’d boot her arse out the door like that git, Adam. Now instead of going somewhere fun, we have to spend hours chasing that thing down and cleaning up its mess. And once we get the little menace back to its planet, I am going to make damn sure Rose Tyler is by my side at all times so I can keep an eye on what she’s doing!”

He sighed angrily as he stepped under the water. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair getting the lather out. The hot water soothed him and he felt some of the anger draining away.

“On the other hand,” he murmured to himself. “Rose didn’t mean anything by it. She did put it down, It’s not her fault it tagged along behind. I’m just blowing things out of proportion. It’s a minor problem after all. It’s not like we have a Yeti running loose in the TARDIS. We’ll get it down, get it back to its planet, and go on our merry way, problem solved. I…”

He frowned. He had been so caught up in his rant that he didn’t realize until now that there was something going up his back. He opened his eyes and looked around trying to figure out what was going on.

“What is going---“

“!”

The Doctor gasped and nearly slipped on the wet porcelain.

“ROSE!” he screamed.” ROSE, THE SODDING THING IS ON MY BACK! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON IT!”

He waved his arms around trying to get it off his back. He spun around trying everything he could think of to dislodge it.

“Get off me, you furry menace!” he yelled. “ROSE!”

He gasped when he felt it run up the back of his neck into his hair. He reached up to grab hold of it and screamed with rage as the Zeebot dumped another load of feces into his newly washed hair.

Rose flung open the door and sprinted over to the bathtub, wincing as she listened to the Doctor screaming curses at the top of his lungs. She flung open the shower curtain and stepped back when she got a good look at the Doctor. He was standing there naked and wet as feces ran in brown rivulets down his face and body. Meanwhile, the drenched Zeebot sat quietly in his feces and lather-laden hair staring intently at Rose with its little black eyes.

“Get…this…thing….off…me…before…I…kill…it!” the Doctor snarled.

Rose reached up and grabbed the wet Zeebot. She lifted it off his head and muttered a quick apology as the Doctor grabbed the shower curtain and jerked it back. Rose quickly hurried out of the room and shut the door as the Doctor started in on his second shower of the day.

Well, needless to say, the Doctor hauled ass back to Freazon Twelve and dumped the Zeebot off about a half mile from the TARDIS. Then, he ran for his life, sprinted inside and we took off in record time. I have to tell you that I have definitely learned my lesson after all this. Just because something is cute and fuzzy doesn’t mean it can’t drive you crazy and be a right pain in the butt. I definitely will listen to the Doctor next time he tells me to ignore a creature and...

“ROSE!”

Rose winced when she heard the Doctor screaming at her. Wondering what she did wrong, she looked up as the Doctor started to run past the den door, saw her and stomped inside with a furious look on his face. He walked over to the couch and grabbed her hand.

“Come with me please,” he said in a terse voice. “I want to show you something.”

Rose wasn’t too sure she wanted to see what this something was, but she didn’t dare disobey when the Doctor looked so furious. Meekly, she stood and let him lead her out of the room.

“Rose, remember when I was on Freazon Twelve yesterday and I told you to keep the door closed while I was putting that Zeebot back?” he asked her as he led her down the corridor.

“Yeah,”

The Doctor looked back at her.

“Did you obey me?” he asked.

Rose gulped.

“Um, mostly, I did open it for a moment when you didn’t get back right away. I was just checking to see if you were back yet.”

“I see,” the Doctor said tersely. “Well, I want you to know that while you were holding the door open searching for me, a very pregnant Zeebot wandered in unnoticed, walked under the ramp, and gave birth there. Congratulations, Rose, you and I are now the proud godparents of a brood of Zeebots.”

He stopped and looked at her.

“I also want you to know that since Zeebots only mate every few years, they have to give birth to many, many babies to compensate for that. So congratulations, Rose, we are now the proud godparents of thirty bouncing baby puffballs. They’re all over the console room now, wanna see em?”

Rose’s face drained of all color.

“Thi…thirty?” she choked out.

“Ooooh yes, thirty,” the Doctor said. “You should see the console room floor now, Rose; it’s a pretty shade of brown from all the poo, come see.”

Rose groaned as the Doctor dragged her down the corridor.

Um, me again, I’m doing this quick entry to say that it might take me awhile to update since the Doctor and I are running all over the TARDIS rounding up Zeebots and cleaning up their shite. My next entry will happen as soon as I can get to…

“ROSE! GET IN HERE AND HELP ME GET THESE LITTLE MONSTERS OFF THE CEILING, THEY ARE CRAPPING ALL OVER MY CONSOLE!”

Rose sighed and closed the laptop.

“COMING, DOCTOR, I’M COMING!” she yelled as she hurried out of the den.

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