THE DOCTOR GETS SMART
Crossover of "Doctor Who" and "Get Smart"
Chapter Seven 99 stared at him in disbelief. “What? What do you mean Shtarker is missing?” she asked, walking over to him. “Wow, they managed to get the TARDIS in here. I guess we did have room next to the closet.” Max mused as he stared at it. “Max, what do you mean Shtarker is missing?” Max was snapped out of his reverie. “Oh! Yeah, sorry; I just got back from CONTROL headquarters and the Chief told me that when the agents rounded up the KAOS agents, Shtarker wasn’t with them.” 99 groaned. “Oh Max, we should have tied them up first.” She said. “With what, 99? I didn’t see any rope in there. Plus, I thought we had to get the Doctor away from them as quick as we could in case there were more agents in there.” 99 nodded. “Did they get any information from the other agents?” she asked. Max sighed. “Well, that’s the other problem. We lost two of the other agents and the third isn’t talking.” “Lost? What do you mean lost?” “Well, two of the agents managed to swallow their suicide pills before our agents could get them away from them. They got the pills away from the other guy, but he’s not saying anything to anyone; so the last I heard they were trying the hypno-beam on him to get him to talk.” 99 sunk down onto the sofa. “So, unless we can get this KAOS agent to talk, we won’t find out where Siegfried has gone. And by the time we do get this guy to talk, it might already be too late since I’m sure Siegfried will probably move his headquarters.” She said. “And now we can’t be sure if Shtarker heard our conversation or followed us and saw the TARDIS.” “Well; at least the TARDIS and the Doctor are safe.” Max said, walking over to the front door and locking the four door locks. “This apartment is completely impenetrable! These locks are the finest in the world. No one will be able to get through this door!” As he walked away from the door, he heard a creak and looked back around as the door slowly opened on its own. “Why does it keep doing that?” Max muttered as he went back to the door and relocking the door. He walked away and sighed when the door opened again. “Here let me.” The Doctor said, getting up. Taking out his sonic screwdriver, he shut the door and locked it. As he walked away, Max tried the door and his eyes widened as it stayed shut. He looked at the Doctor. “What is that thing?” he asked. “It’s a sonic screwdriver.” The Doctor replied, holding it up. “It’s what I use for a weapon. It doesn’t kill, wound or maim but it is very good at opening and closing doors among other things.” “Wow, I’m surprised CONTROL headquarters hasn’t thought up something like that yet.” Max said, looking at the door. “Seems like the kind of thing they would come up with.” He looked back at 99. “Um, in my rush to get over here I forgot to get the food so I’m going upstairs to check on the twins and get some delivered here.” He said. He gave her a quick kiss and headed upstairs. 99 plopped down on the sofa. “Great, just great.” She muttered. She shook her head as she looked at the Doctor and Rose. “I’m so sorry you got pulled into this mess.” She said to them. The Doctor smiled. “Well, I believe we were the ones who pulled ourselves in so we can’t complain now.” He said. “We should have checked them for those stupid suicide pills.” 99 said. “Every KAOS and CONTROL agent carries them. Neither of us thought of it and now you might be in even worse danger.” “Don’t worry about it, 99.” The Doctor replied.” Rose and I have been through worse. Whatever happens we can deal with it.” He paused a moment. “Can I ask you something by the way?” 99 nodded. “Is 99 your real name?” 99 shook her head. “No, that’s my agent number. Max’s is 86 and I’m 99. I have a name but I guess I’m like you. I choose to use my agent number instead of my real name for security purposes.” “And Max just calls you 99 as well?” Rose asked. “Yes.” She chuckled at Rose’s bewildered look. “I never told him my real name and he’s never bothered to ask. I think he’s so used to calling me 99, he’s just accepted it as my real name now.” “So, what does Maria call you?” Rose asked. “Mrs. Smart. That’s usually what people outside of CONTROL call me.” She replied. “So which do you prefer?” the Doctor asked. “You can use 99.” She said to the Doctor. He and Rose nodded. “What about you? Do you have everyone call you Doctor?” she asked him. “Usually. If I do use an alias, I use John Smith.” “Hmmm, not very original.” 99 said. The Doctor shrugged. “I really don’t use it that often, so I didn’t bother to think up something elaborate.” He replied. “Well, I can understand that. If I have to use an alias, I go by Susan Hilton; but I’ve only used that a couple of times and…” She looked down at her purse as she heard a high pitched beep coming from inside it. “Just a moment, the Chief is calling me.” She said, holding up her finger. She opened her purse and glanced inside. The Doctor and Rose stared in amazement as she pulled out a bottle of nail polish and unscrewed the applicator off. As a little antenna came up out of the bottle, 99 put the applicator in her ear. “Yes, Chief?” She said, speaking into the bottle. “Cool! I want one of those as well!” Rose said to the Doctor. The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Yes, Chief, Max got back about ten minutes ago and told me what happened with Shtarker and the KAOS agents.” She said. She listened for a moment and then she let out a deep sigh. “Oh no.” she said, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other. “Did they manage to get any information out of him before he killed himself?” 99 sighed. “So, now we’re back to square one.” She said. “And I’m sure Siegfried and Shtarker are miles away by now.” She nodded. “We will. That’s all we can do right now, I guess.” She glanced at the Doctor and Rose. “No, Chief, I don’t want to pass this off to someone else. I actually want to continue with this assignment and stop Siegfried from carrying out his plans.” The Doctor and Rose looked around as they heard Max coming down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom and watched 99. “No, I’m not acting like Max and having delusions of grandeur, Chief.” 99 said, rolling her eyes. “I know that aliens don’t exist; I’m thinking of the innocent civilians that Siegfried and Shtarker could harm trying to carry out this crazy scheme.” As she listened to the Chief, Max walked up and sat down beside 99. 99 nodded. “Okay, after we eat, we’ll go talk to agent 13 and see if he’s seen anything. He’s our best lead at the moment.” 99 nodded. “Okay, Chief; you have a good night too and we’ll check in if we find out anything. Okay…okay…bye.” She took the applicator away from her ear and screwed it back onto the lipstick bottle. “What now?” Max asked. 99 sighed. The last KAOS agent is dead.” She said sadly. “They left him alone in his cell while they went to prepare the hypno-beam and he had a cyanide gas tooth that they didn’t know about and he bit down and gassed himself when they weren’t looking.” Max sighed and slumped down in the couch. “Another standard issue KAOS device.” She told the Doctor and Rose. “Most KAOS agents have them in case the suicide pills fail or get taken away from them. They didn’t check.” “The Chief needs to talk to our agents. Security is getting lax over there.” Max said angrily. “Well, that includes us, Max. We didn’t check either.” “Oh yeah, right.” He muttered. He looked at 99. “They didn’t get any information from him?” “No, Chief said to try agent 13 after we eat.” Max nodded. “I need a drink.” He muttered as he got up. 99 glanced up at the second floor as she heard the twins start crying. “Zack and Maxine need something.” She said, getting up. She looked at Rose. “Would you like to come and help me? I want Max to rest and the twins are usually a handful.” “Sure, I’d love to help.” 99 smiled at the Doctor. “We won’t be long. I’m sure the twins are hungry or need changing.” “That’s fine. I’ll just talk to Max while you girls are upstairs.” He replied as Max sat back down with his scotch. Rose got up and squeezed the Doctor’s shoulder. “Have fun being domestic.” The Doctor said winking. “Shut your gob or we’ll make you change the nappies while we sit and watch.” She giggled as the Doctor gave her a feigned look of horror. She leaned over and gave him a brief kiss on the lips before following 99 up the stairs.
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