TWELVE AND THE ANCIENT OLYMPIC GAMES

A/N: This popped into my head after reading a bit of trivia about the first Olympic games.

Chapter One

The Doctor was stood at his console, hands in his pockets while he thought about what to do for an adventure. He'd just picked up Clara after her latest date with Danny and he was eager to distract her so he wouldn't have to listen about mushy human things.

"Hey! I just learned something today," Clara said as she entered the console room.

"You learned that wearing tall shoes will get you a shattered coccyx if you fall over?" the Doctor said.

"No."

"You learned that coloring your face leads people to think you're a tart and you might get unwanted advances from sleezy men?"

"No, Doctor."

"Danny is a woman?" the Doctor said.

"No. Danny told me something he learned long ago."

"He really is a woman," the Doctor guessed.

"No. We were discussing women's rights and how women were subjugated throughout history and he told me that women were forbidden to participate or even watch the original Greek Olympics."

"You were discussing this while having sex?" the Doctor said.

"No, we weren't having sex. We were having coffee and chatting at his house," Clara said exasperated.

"And this is why you color your face and wear tall shoes. To go and chat about Greek women's rights," the Doctor said.

"No. We discussed several things but I think it's diabolic that women weren't allowed to be a part of the Olympic Games. That is totally unfair."

"Men don't have menstrual cycles, Clara. Isn't that unfair to men?" the Doctor pointed out.

"This is different," Clara said annoyed.

"Oh yes, because you grew up listening to the Spice Girls and it's girl power this and girl power that. Well, sometimes the universe is unfair, Clara. Sorry to burst your wee bubble about that."

"I just hate to see women being marginalized, that's all. Sorry to interrupt your day. I'll shut up now."

She started to leave and turned when she heard the Doctor chuckling.

"What?" Clara said, narrowing her eyes.

"Okay, Boss, I'll take you to the Olympics in Greece. Does that suit you?" he said to her.

"Well, yeah, except I can't attend them," Clara said.

"Yes, you can. I have a solution for that," the Doctor said. "I have a holographic shell that will project an image around you that is completely male. And then people will think you are male."

"You mean like Sabra was wearing?" Clara said.

"Yes but the entire body, not just the clothing. I can make you look like a Greek man and together we'll attend the Olympic games. Sound good?"

"Yeah, I like that idea. Okay, take us to the Olympic games then."

"Follow me," the Doctor said, crooking his finger at her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(Olympia, Greece, 708 B.C….)

Clara stepped out of the TARDIS behind the Doctor. The TARDIS was parked near a stone building that was near a huge stone amphitheater. The holographic shell was a small black box that was attached to a satin strap that was tied around her neck. With that in place, the hologram now covered her entire body and she looked like a short, balding, middle aged man wearing a white robe. The Doctor looked like himself except he was dressed in an orange robe.

"Now, you are called Heracles and I'm Socrates," the Doctor said to her.

"Um…isn't Heracles the Greek version of Hercules?" Clara asked.

"Yes. Spot on, ten points to Clara. Now, you don't have any voice changer so if someone speaks to you, just talk low…like this," the Doctor said, lowering his voice on the last two words.

"Why don't you speak for me?"

"Because I'll be busy. Now, there's the amphitheater and here's a couple of drachma to get you inside. And don't boss people around too much or they'll…kill you…somehow. Anyway, off now. Have fun!"

"Wait!" Clara said, holding up her hand while the Doctor turned and walked away.

She watched as he turned away from the cue lined up outside one opening of the amphitheater and walked towards another queue on the other side. The other side was shorter and Clara debated whether she should go to that queue since there weren't as many people. But the Doctor turned when he was nearly there, caught her eye and mouthed "You go there," as he pointed to the longer queue. Clara shrugged and walked to the end of the line while the Doctor continued on to the other entrance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After twenty minutes of slowly moving along, Clara got through the entrance after paying a burly man one of her drachmas and she followed a young, thin man to a spot on a stone riser about five risers up from the ground. The amphitheater was semicircular with a long dirt track in front of them. The track was in an oval and a few men were near some markers on the ground. To Clara's surprise, the participants were all butt naked and she couldn't help but notice their manhoods as they warmed up for the race.

Then her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the Doctor come from a side entrance onto the track. Because like the others, the Doctor was butt naked too.

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